Texas Hold-em International Style

Let me tell you a little story about Texas hold-em and a girl they call Reb.


When the Brit started inviting people over to his place to play cards he asked if I wanted to come. I said I'd like to come by. He asked if I knew how to play poker and I hesitated ... I knew the general idea, but had only actually played once. He pressed on... "Do you really know how to play?" and I replied tentatively "When I played at bible camp (TUP) I won all the crayons." and mentioned that I'd be up for playing a hand or two. To this he gave a very short "NO! This is serious cards." And I said I'd still like to go to the party if possible, maybe just have a drink then leave early so the guys could just be guys.


The subject came up a few more times over the week as details were sorted out. The guys decided they wanted to play competition style poker (not that I even knew what that was), buy in 1000 Baht, top two players split the pot. It was made clear that I wouldn't just be able to play a hand or two, it was all in or all out, and most of the guys assumed I'd be all out. Eventually though, the guys decided that if I really wanted to play I could have a discounted buy in - only 500 Baht. But I was having none of that. I may not be able to play like the big boys... but I wasn't going to pansy out of it either. One of the guys tried to make sure I knew what I was getting into "This is serious... some people say they're playing for fun, but then they lose all their money and it sucks." I stood firm; it would be worth the price of the buy in just for the experience.


Before the party, I was able to locate some good German beer at the store... and also Kettle Chips!!! You know, Kettle Chips from good ol' Salem, OR! I figured if I was going to suck at cards, I could at least bring something to the party. Oh, and I picked up some vodka & cranberry juice for myself. I needed a girl drink. ;)


At the party I was again offered the discounted buy in, but refused joking - "But how would you guys felt if I ended up winning the whole thing?" To which they laughed... especially after I reminded them that at Bible camp I'd won *all* the crayons, and that was the sum total of my poker playing experience. I bought in and we played. The Brit, the Canadian, Short Aussie & I. They were far kinder than I thought they would be to me, playing a first hand as a demo so I could see how it went, and in the earlier hands prompting me as to what I needed to do. It took a few hands, I bet conservatively, but I caught on. And to my complete surprise, I was the only one who could properly shuffle the cards! So I had the tiniest shred of street-cred at the table. Half way through the game, though, I was the one telling the guys to put down the big & little blind before I would deal, checking & raising, burning & turning.


The guys were drinking gin & tonic (Tanqueray- J!); I'd had a few vodka cranberries... but I didn't really feel drunk. Until something funny happened (I don't have a clue what) and in some bizarre drunken slow motion fall I ended up on the floor laughing my ass off. Things were going well. I mostly played conservatively, winning a couple of hands on good cards alone. And then I remembered that there was a good chance everyone else was bluffing - at least some of the time- so I decided to give it a try. I bluffed against the Short Aussie and lost. He didn't have much, just an Ace high, but I had nothing at all. It wasn't a huge pot, just all part of the game.


Then... then the other American showed up. He walked in, saw the cards said "Texas Hold-em? Y'all know I'm from Texas don't you?" Yeah... we knew. He was right at home. He bought in and started playing hard core right off the bat. I chickened out and folded fast for a couple of hands. Tex picked up a couple pots and was looking pretty good. But I started thinking he might just be all hat & no cattle ... so I decided to go all the way on the next hand... regardless of what cards were dealt. Big blind & little blind were on the table, the Brit folded before the flop. The Canadian & the Short Aussie folded after the flop. I can't remember the exact cards on the table, but I know there were a few face cards and an 8. Tex raised the bet 20, I matched him. One more card - another 8. Tex raised again 40, I stared him down, I had a hunch he was bluffing, but I had no idea.


My heart was really pounding... I had absolutely nothing in my hand, a 9 & a 7, so basically just the pair of 8s showing. I'd managed to rack up quite a few chips early on (totally lucked into a straight) , so I figured it was time to go big or go home. I had enough chips to make him go all in. But I didn't have the heart. I matched his 40 and raised him 40 - that would be painful enough - for whoever lost. It was time to show the cards. I put down my 9 & 7. He put down a 9 & a 5! I'd won the entire pot on the basis of my 7 beating his 5!

My chips: black is 20, red 10, blue 4, white 2 - note the Canadian's pile across from me, and Tex's little stack of blue chips to my left.

The rest of the table just watched me raking in all the chips laughing in disbelief. "What the HELL just happened there????" from the Brit. "That is m*th*rf*ck*n' poker!" from the Short Aussie. Let me tell you - that felt good. It could have gone either way, I know. But it didn't. After that they started teasing me about winning all the crayons at Bible camp, saying that it wasn't fair - I had Jesus on my side. I'm fairly sure that wasn't the case. But I did just fine. Tex had blown through his chips in just a few hands and had to buy in another 500B worth of chips from me. I didn't really want to let him... I was kinda getting tired of playing and was concerned that the longer we kept playing the greater the chance was that I'd lose. I know I said it was worth the experience... but there's also something to be said for winning. But ultimately I didn't want to be a poor sport, so I let him buy back in.


There were several more hands. The Short Aussie was nearly out, but went all in on a good hand and won his way back into third place, taking the Brit for all his chips. But soon enough the Aussie was out too, and even Tex was down to just a few blue chips. The Canadian, surprisingly, held his own. He'd nearly gone out on an early hand but in what may have been an act of guy-love one of the other guys folded to him, letting him stay in the game.


Eventually though, Tex & the Canadian conceded defeat... and little Reb went home with AAAAALLLL the crayons - 6,0000B. I could not believe it. I just couldn't help laughing. I'd never expected to win, never expected to play more than a couple of hands. So yeah, the whole experience was well worth the buy in and then some. I almost felt bad for winning so I offered to buy a round of drinks next time we all go out. I just don't quite have the heart for poker.


If you haven't figured it out yet... that gives today a T.A.G of Mango. Life is good... life is spectacular.

What to pack...

T.A.G - Mango
I didn't teach today, so it was pretty easy going. Tonight is poker with the boys. It's "high stakes" as in 1,000 baht buy in... but that's only about $29, and I'm prepared to pay that much for the experience. I need to go get ready now... but here's a little post I wrote up a few days ago. Have a fun weekend everyone!


If you've seen any coverage of the protests in Bangkok, you've probably noticed a plethora of yellow polo shirts. If you didn't notice it, you will now I assure you!


It seems that the 'traditional dress' of your average Thai person involves a polo shirt of some kind (not necessarily Polo brand, I've seen lots of different crests & logos) and shorts. It's weird actually. On a given day I'll notice a bunch of people all wearing the same color polo shirt and think - dang, I musta missed the memo! I've since learned that the colors are significant. When I arrived it was all teal blue shirts - and that was in honor of the Queen's birthday. I've also learned that yellow is the color of the day the king was born (Monday I think). So wearing a yellow shirt on Monday is really just their way of saying "We love the King." A while back I was sitting in the cafeteria and gradually noticed that more than half the people were wearing pink. At the time I noticed it but had no clue why. It turns out that the King was in the hospital and when he was released he was wearing a pink blazer. So the pink shirts were a way of saying "Yay, the King is better - I hope he stays healthy."


It's a really strange concept... kind of like Spirit day in High School when you wore your school colors to the pep rally. It's also one of the more basic things I wish I'd learned when I was researching Thailand because I would have packed a few polo shirts!!! As it is, one of my students noticed that I always wear blue and commented on it. She was mostly complimentary but now I realize I only have the appropriate color wardrobe for Friday (blue) and Wednesday (green). And the appropriate color for a career as a teacher is orange - and I have nothing for that. Oh well. Live and learn. If you come to visit Thailand, pack a polo shirt.









And a towel.... but that should go without saying ;)

Kow Pad Gai

T.A.G. for today is Mango. Life is good.


I just got back from a drink with the boys. I like that we have a regular place, that's the kind of thing I really enjoy... knowing that I can go someplace and friends will be there. No arranging, just show up. I'm really going to miss that when it's gone. Oh... and I didn't think I drank any more than normal, but I'm feeling a tad more inebriated than usual... so forgive.


I love the students. We have a great group. I sat down with one of the elementary students before class today and was showing her my "Learn Thai" book - it's a kid's workbook so I can practice writing out the letters. She was telling me the sounds of all the letters... but then she told me I got the level 2 book (consonant vowel combinations) and what I really needed was the level 1 book with just the alphabet, so she said she'd try to bring me a page with just the alphabet. She also wrote out my name in Thai script in my workbook. Then we chatted for a bit and it was just nice. I know it's not like having a 'real' Thai friend ... but now that I'm not her official teacher anymore, it does feel a little more like she's being nice because she wants to be, not because I'm the teacher.


Then between lessons one of my current intermediate students sat down next to me and started asking me questions. She asked me what kind of food I like and I told her I loved Thai food, so she taught me how to say Chicken Fried Rice (Kow Pad Gai) and Pork Fried Rice (Kow Pad Moo)... which are my two favorite meals so far.


She then asked me if I had a Thai nickname. Thais typically have really long names - very difficult for westerners to pronounce, so they all have a shorter nickname used for all but the most formal occasions. Nicknames are often related to personal characteristics like tall or short, or colors or fruits or something like that. I told her no, and asked her what my nickname should be - she said Ku Larb. A little inelegent when transliterated into English script... but apparently it means "Rose" - how sweet is that???? I know there's probably a bit of kissing-up to teacher (and I'm going to check with another Thai person to confirm it means what she says it does), but still...it made me feel good.


After class I went across the street and successfully ordered Kow Pad Gai! Yay for actually learning to say something useful! Oh, and it was yummy. Their 'fried' rice isn't fried like we do it in the US, it's more stir-fried, so it's not greasy, and they serve it with a lime wedge which gives it a nice kick.

Kow Pad Gia - 20 baht.

Then beer with the guys. Then home. Life is good.


Tomorrow is the big poker night. One of the guys is staying with a friend in an actual house. I won't actually be playing any poker, but I'm more than a little excited about the prospect of an actual sofa. I haven't had a soft place to park myself since I got here. It should be interesting. The ground rule has been laid down - no CELTA talk, but everything else is fair game. I've been on a mission for good beer, and I think I've found something. There were a few German imports at the grocery store so I looked them up on Rate Beer. The beers we've been drinking - Tiger, Leo, Chang & Singha all rate below the 10th percentile. The German beers however, Erdinger & Wiehenstephaner rank about a 55 & 95 respectively. Drop Top Amber, my current favorite, on the other hand only ranks a 29. So I'm hoping the German brews win me a few bonus points. Mostly though, it'll just be nice to drink good beer for a change. I will, of course, give a full report.



Thanks for all your comments on topics you're interested in. I'll start investigating & forming ideas about: Thai Silk, Thai dress, environmental awareness, and the roll of women in Thai society. Lots to think about there. I'll also do what I can to take more pictures of day-to-day life.... and of course, tell you all about the food! =)


As for the boys being sexist. I'd say more perverted than sexist. One of our instructors is a woman and they all give her a lot of respect both in class and when talking about her outside of class. I've been assured repeatedly that they give me a bad time because they like me, and if they didn't like me they'd just be polite. It's apparently a British / Australian thing - 'taking the piss' and all that. They were explaining this again tonight and I just looked at them and was like "I have no guile." and they were like "WE KNOW!" LOL. But I'll be a bit more judicious when repeating what they've said.


It's really really odd. There was a time when every little thing offended me. I spent most of my time in an indignant rage about something or other. I loosened up a lot after college, but now... practically nothing offends me. Well, not like it used to. Part of me feels like I probably should work up an indignant rage from time to time, but I don't know. It never got me what I wanted before, I'm not sure what kind of purpose it would serve me now. I was really unhappy back then. I'm happier now... I guess it's about learning to distinguish between 'my problem' and 'not my problem'. I will do what I can do to be a good person, and to put good energy into the world...I will do what I can do to surround myself with people and situations that make me happy... and that's about all I can do.

In any event... situation Mango, life is good.

Rolling with the punches

Notice anything new? Take a gander at the sidebar ------------------>

I'm instituting a new Thailand Advisory Guide that should help put my life here in perspective. Personally I'm aiming for my life to swing between Mango & Bananas. I can accept a few things going wrong here or there, but if I find myself deeply unhappy for any length of time, I'll need to re-evaluate things.


I'd actually call today a Code Mango. Life is really really good. Could it be better? Maybe. Would I change a single thing? Not really.


My lesson today was graded "to standard" which is just fine by me as several things went wrong, a few which were under my control (specifics about my technique) and a few that were out of my control (several people came in late, the white-board markers wouldn't work, the overhead projector stopped working). Overall I kept rolling with the punches and survived the lesson. I don't need to be perfect, I just need to pass. I got good feedback that will help me in future lessons.


I got my assignment #2 back, and will need to resubmit it. It was a grammar assignment and I was pretty unsure about the last page - I didn't get it all wrong, but one thing from one exercise, something else from another exercise etc., so I'll need to correct it and turn it in again. I knew it wasn't my best possible work when I turned it in. There was some laziness/self sabotage going on and there's a part of me that's relieved that I didn't pass it first time through. It takes a bit of the pressure to be perfect off of me. Armchair psychologists - feel free to interpret as you like.


I went out for a beer with the guys which I love. We didn't talk about anything especially exciting, but I know that once the course is over I'm going to miss them terribly. And I got a ride home on the back of the Brit's motor bike which was fun, and saved me 20B for the songthaew. When he dropped me off he said "That'll be 2,000 baht." but I was like "You're going to have to do a lot more for that much." (Yay for a good come-back said while it was actually relevant!!!!)


So life is good. It's very good. I'm just loving this course, I love learning new things and getting to practice teaching in such a safe environment. I love the messy complicated human people who are on the course with me. I love the food (today's teriyaki chicken just about blew my mind), I love the weather - it's so warm and even the humidity is strangely comforting. The rain every night just clears the air and makes everything look clean in the morning. And yes, I know this is a *classic* case of the Honeymoon Phase of culture shock. I know it'll wear off eventually, so for now I'm just going to revel in it.


Now a question for you, faithful Work In Progress reader.... Is there anything you want to know about Thailand (politics / social issues / nature)? Anything you would like to see me try or to report on (I would rather not eat a bug, but I'd be more than happy to take pictures)? Is there anything I've been posting about that just bores you to tears and wish I wouldn't mention again? (Every time I talk about lesson planning you want to smack the computer?) I keep this blog primarily for myself, but I love that you wonderful people are reading it & leaving such supportive comments. So I want to do what I can to make it as interesting as I can for you. =)

All is well

For those of you who've seen the news about Bangkok - yes there's a serious political situation going on, it's all over the news here. Fortunately there haven't been any (or rather, I haven't seen any) protests up in Chiang Mai where I am (300 miles away). I've talked to people who lived here through the last (bloodless) coup and I've been assured that I'm about as safe as can be here. I am registered with the US consulate and have been checking their travel alerts daily. In the unlikely event that situation turns unsafe, I'll do as they advise.

Old Lady Massage

One of the things I was curious about when I came here was Traditional Thai Massage. At the night-market next door there are rows of comfy chairs set up for foot massages, and behind the chairs there are mats for full-body massages. I really wanted to try one last weekend… but when I got out there all the masseuers were busy. But there’s a massage parlor in my residence building so I figured I’d give that one a try. Let me start out by saying that if you want to get a PG version massage in Thailand, you specify “Old Lady” massage. If you want the other kind… well, I can’t help you there.

It was, like most things I’ve done here, a somewhat surreal experience. Being a foreigner here automatically reduces my IQ by about 10 pts., I think I lose another 20 pts. for not knowing the language. So basically if I have about average intelligence in the US… here I’m downright feeble minded. There’s nothing to do but laugh at me. And I really don’t know any better, so I just laugh along. There’s actually something a bit freeing in that …if I know I’m going to look stupid no matter what I do, there’s no point in worrying about it.

Anyway, I walk in the door and ask for a massage. “Old lady?” the manager asks “Old lady.” I confirm. I ask “How much?” and they point towards the door which has a complete price list in English and Thai. Feeble minded I tell you! They steer me towards a mat on the floor and I stand there looking a little dumbfounded. There’s a set of clothes there and they manage to get me into the bathroom to change into them. It was surprising, I was convinced they’d be too small, but both were an okay fit. They’re supposed to be significantly looser than they were I’m sure… but it wasn’t a complete disaster. I considered briefly using the toilet… and then, realizing there’s no toliet paper, I forgo that option. Yup… not smart enough to figure out a Thai-style bidet. I am now a feeble-minded three year old.

Eventually I come back out and lie down on the mat…the wrong way of course. But no problem, she motions for me to lie on my back first and I’m catching on here – I do so. What happens next is no question the most literal interpretation of a full-body massage I could imagine. Not only am I getting the full treatment (well, the full old-lady treatment that is), but the whole process is somewhat… collaborative… for want of a better word. It’s a lot more like physical therapy than the relaxing massages I’ve gotten in spas at home. There’s a lot of contorting and stretching and pounding. The masseuse uses her hands & arms, but also elbows, knees, legs, feet, etc. At one point I’m lying on my back, knee bent kinda out to one side, and she puts both her feet on my inner thigh, she grabs my foot and pulls back. At another point when I was lying on my stomach she was kneeling on my butt, and I’m pretty sure she was walking on my legs for a while. That woman earned her pay tonight.

Did it feel good? Um. Not especially. I mean, the stretching was probably really good for me, there were some yoga-esque moves that I’m sure loosened me up in beneficial ways, but it was not very relaxing. Being overweight & out of shape made the whole thing rather awkward… she was trying to move me into certain positions my body just can’t achieve. So she’d laugh… and I’d laugh… and there you go. One of the weirder hours of my life. But, it was cheap – less than $10 and it’s worth that much just to add it to the collection of things I’ve experienced here.

Tonight I made it over to the night market next door early enough for a foot massage though, and that was a lot less sureal. It helped that there was a whole row of people getting massages so I could watch them and see what was going to happen next. There's a part of the whole scenario that just feels weird. I mean, there's this whole row of women (and it's always women) rubbing on people's feet. But I looked around and there were more Thai people getting massages than farangs... so I figured it okay. The girl rubbing my feet looked about 14... which means she was probably closer to about 20. People look YOUNG here. I thought most of my class was in their early 20s - college aged, but later found out that one of the 'kids' was actually 32 - only a year younger than me!


Anyway, the foot massage involved far less contorting than the full-body massage, but it was still a bit on the rough side... they really work the pressure points & try to get your Chi moving. Or something... I'm still completely clueless on the theory behind Thai massage. At the end they actually start punching your legs & feet... not hard, but still. Overall though,, 90% of it felt really good, and the chair was so comfortable I almost fell asleep at one point. And it was only about $4... so I'll be going back.

Smooth as Silk

I'm not sure if I've really gone into the specifics of the CELTA course, but here's a quick review in case you're all kinds of confused by some of my stories. Every morning we start with input sessions from 10am - 1pm. That's when the CELTA instructors teach us (the 8 trainees) about teaching. We learn about grammar, phonology, teaching methodology, lesson planning etc. etc. - stuff teachers need to know if they actually want their students to learn something. Then after lunch we break up into our two groups. Four of us with the male instructor (or as we've started calling him "Daddy-Dearest") and four with the female instructor (who I've just now decided to call Bird, simply because she's a British woman). So my group was with Daddy Dearest teaching elementary students for the first two weeks. The other group was with Bird teaching intermediate level students. But as of today we, the trainees, switch. So I'm with new students and a new instructor.



Today we just observed the instructors teaching our new classes. This was really important because it gives us some time to evaluate how much our students know, who's chatty - who's shy, etc. And this will help us fine-tune our first lesson plans. The first week, we didn't do that we jumped right into teaching and as I was first up I had *no clue* what they would know and what they didn't. Terrifying. Anyway it also meant that today was not very stressful at all. We had an assignment due this morning & from talking to some of the guys I think I may have to resubmit it... but oh well - wait & see. Week three is supposed to be the toughest week on the course but I actually only give one & a half lessons so it should be manageable.



Anyway my day was uneventful (had a good breakfast, lunch & beer with the guys though - so a good day overall). But in my old class, one of the students got outed! The student in question was pretty flamboyant - so it's not like it was a big secret but still. I'm sure it was hilarious when his classmate, as an example of Present Continuous Tense came up with "He always liking boys!" LOL. I loved those students... I'm kinda sad I only got two weeks with them. I can only imagine how I'll feel about my students when I have a real class.



Speaking of having a real class. I know the plan was that I'd stay in Thailand for a while, but I'm starting to rethink that plan. There are just some issues that are bothering me a bit more than I thought they would. I didn't think I would be so excluded from the social scene here. It's hard to say if it's actually something specific to Thailand, or to teaching abroad in general. And I'm not sure how much of that is reality, or if it's just because I'm not making enough of an effort. I'm going to do some thinking about it... and try to figure out if there's another country that would fit better with my lifestyle. In any case, I'll probably have to work here for at least a few months before moving... otherwise I'm going to run out of money. I've got some cogitating to do.





Ok - most boring post ever I'm sure.


Oh - I can share one funny thing. I was talking to the guys about an upcoming lesson plan and describing that I would use an authentic menu (Laurelwood Brewpub!) and tell the students "Joe loves seafood, Mary doesn't eat meat... what should they each order?" at which point the guys started giving me a hard time "WTF's up with Mary - sounds like a real bitch... what's Joe even doing out with her." and I was like "Hey - she puts out." to which one of the guy responds "You shoulda put that in the context. I wasn't even fucking hungry." LOL

Wat Phrathat Doi Suthep

One of many golden Buddha statues.

This weekend I decided it was time I ventured a bit beyond my residence and actually did something fun. The temple Doi Suthep is just outside Chiang Mai, up on a hill overlooking the city. It's relatively cheap (free for the locals though!) and really easy to get to from my residence so I could justify it even on my current no-frills budget.


I walked out to the main road and hailed a Songthaew. I told him "Doi Suthep" and he asked "one way or two ways?" and I said "one way" thinking it wouldn't be too hard to get another Songthaew home. But apparently there was something else he was trying to communicate, which of course I couldn't get. So he motions for me to sit in the cab with him, instead of going in the back like normal. I do, and it's really quite novel. From the front seat you can actually *see* where you're going!


He took me to just about a block past my school, pulled over to the side of the road and pointed ahead to another Songthaew. Ah! Songthaews don't just take one person up the hill, you wait at this little stop until there's 6-8 people, then we all go up together. I had to wait a bit, but actually not that long. What Chiang Mai lacks in formal public transportation systems they *more* than make up for it with the tuk-tuk / songthaew industry. I think they're technically regulated by the government, but on an individual level they're really independent & go where-ever you need to go.


Anyway we didn't wait that long until there were enough people to get going. It was 80 baht for a round trip, and the driver indicated that we would have 1 hour at the temple. There was a French couple that wanted to stay for more than an hour, so they had to work something out. I thought about doing something similar, but then decided an hour would be fine - I do have work to do this weekend afterall.

Hazy view of the hill from behind the temple.

The drive up the hill was something else! On the one hand it very strongly reminded me of taking the bus up my hill to work/home in Portland. It was a very windy road with a lot of trees & greenery on either side. Just swap out the palm trees for fir trees and the bamboo with ferns. =) But I felt very much like just around the corner I'd see home. LOL. But it was also completely different from taking the bus in Portland. For one thing it was *much* faster. Seriously, it was a bit terrifying. He was just whipping around this way and that through all the turns. The back of the songthaew is wide open, so in theory, you really could just go flying out. I held on to the 'oh shit' bar that runs the length of the car along the ceiling. But one guy started looking a bit sick, so he actually *climbed out* of the car! He stood on the little step at the back and hung onto the ladder thing. I could *not* believe it. The Thai do not generally seem to be afraid of dying in a car accident. But that's a whole 'nother post.


It was a beautiful, if slightly scary, ride up the hill. Then we got dropped off at the front gate, and the driver gave us a little slip of paper with the number of the songthaew on it (and I believe a cell phone) so we could be sure to get home.

This is the beginning of the 306 steps up to the temple. I declined to take the stairs because my knee has been bugging me and instead paid extra to take the funicular. Oh, and all along the road here there are food carts and people trying to sell you stuff. I just smile and keep walking.

Children playing traditional music (actually just getting set up)

In the outer courtyard there were some seats where you could sit and watch kids perform traditional music & dance. I think one of the missions of this temple is to help educate poor kids, and simultaneously keep traditional arts alive. I sat and watched a little girl do a traditional dance. Here's about 30 seconds of it.




In the inner courtyard there was a huge gold-leaf covered chedi (not sure what exactly that is), a big gold oniony-dome looking thing... but there was scaffolding all around it. People were holding flowers and walking around it praying.


I bought some flowers thinking it would be easy enough to lay them on the alter, but then I watched and started feeling really self conscious. There's kneeling & bowing and waiing and burning of incense. I would have felt more brave if other farangs were participating, but it was a little strange. The Thai people all seemed to be worshiping whereas the farang were mostly looking around. But it's like supposed to be a tourist destination... there are official photographers walking around offering to take your picture next to this photo op or that one. I had asked if it was okay to take pictures, and the Thai folks were talking & taking pictures too... so it was kind of an interesting blend of sacred space & tourist spot. It was actually really peaceful.


I guess it could equate to visiting Notre Dame. I mean, when I was there I took pictures, but I also lit a candle & prayed. Obviously though, in a church I have a better understanding of what the rules are. So after watching for a while, I knelt down and put my flower on the offering table. I made a very self conscious attempt at a wai, but skipped the incense all together. Knowing me, the risk of setting the whole place on fire was just too great! =P


There were a couple of seperate buildings around the sides, and inside people would go in and pray. In this temple, there was a monk saying a blessing. I waited outside until they were done and then got this picture.

Several gold covered Buddha statues.

On the right those things on sticks are paper flowers, somehow people fold money into the stick and leave it as an offering. There were a LOT of places to leave money. Some of the boxes had specific charities listed on them, but most were in Thai. One had what looked like a UNICEF symbol on it. Some of them specified that it was for the overall upkeep of the wat (temple). So I guess even though the Thais get 'free admission' they probably end up contributing a lot more money than the farangs do.

This is the back, of one of the smaller temple buildings. I just can't get enough of the architecture. The colors don't come through that great because it was really overcast, but that gold against the blue was brilliant.

I don't think "Mom" means the same in Thai as in English. ;)

So that was Doi Suthep. There was actually a lot more to see (lots of little alcoves with gods & goddesses I couldn't hope to identify) but I only had an hour before my songthaew went back. I'll go back another day and make sure I have time to see everything. Before leaving though I stopped at a food vendor - someone was grilling sweet corn-on-the cob. YUMMERS! It was super tasty, and only 15 baht. On the ride back to town there was a couple from San Francisco on the songthaew so I chatted with them for a bit. It's weird to talk to people who are here on vacation while I kind of live here. They were telling me about this fancy 'traditional northern banquet' they went to, and I was telling them where they could get 30 baht fried rice with the college kids. =P

Ok - that was my fun for the day... back to work now!

Speaking English part II

The other day the instructor was talking about the British way to pronounce something and asked "Any ex colonies represented here today?" Which got a laugh because... well, with the exception of the Brit, that's exactly what we are. Of course *after* the class I thought of several great come-backs ranging from "yeah, until we kicked your asses in 1776" to "and if it weren't for one of those ex-colonies we'd all be teaching German right now." But it's probably better that I just kept my mouth shut.

I love sitting next to the other American. Seriously, I feel very much like he's my little brother solely because we're from the same country. It's weird... I'll see a farang (white person) on the street or in the store and I automatically think "American" but that's virtually never the case. Most of the time I wait and then they'll start speaking French or Russian or whatever and I think "wow - not even native English speakers". I've overheard a few Brits here and there, and I finally ran into an American business man on the Songthaew. I was so excited when he started talking because I was like "He's from California!!!!!" and sure enough he mentioned something about L.A. and I was like "I knew it!" =) and chatted with him for a minute.

Anyway I love getting to work with the other American in class because we actually speak the same language. Today there was an exercise to try to find a sentence that meant 'he rushed' and also 'rushing wasn't necessary.' OA and I were stumped, we got as far as "He didn't have to rush." but couldn't quite get something that also expressed that he rushed anyway. Finally the whole class shared answers and the Brit piped up with "He needn't have rushed." and I was like "What was that????" It was a bit of a shock to hear "He needn't have rushed." being said by someone not in Jane Austen movie. But apparently they really say that.

Later on break I was sharing my pineapple (OMG - the sweetest, juiciest pineapple ever) and the Brit said something I didn't catch and then said "Just takin' the piss." and again I was like "What was that?" like - does he need the bathroom? He had to explain that "takin' the piss" or "takin' the Mickey" (I'd actually heard "take the Mickey" before) was just making fun... and that it's a big part of British humor.

But fortunately, it doesn't go all in one direction. We were talking about someone and he said "What's that 'All hat, no..." and I told him "All hat & no cattle." Which he repeated quite properly "Awl hat and no cat-tle." until I got him to say "Ahl hat & no caddle" ... it was really funny getting him to say "caddle."

It's going to be interesting to hear how we all sound by the end of this course!

Halfway mark

I'm at the halfway mark in the CELTA course and still standing. In fact, I'm actually doing quite well.

I've always done at least reasonably well in school... I really thrived in my college courses. But a decade in ill-fitting and under-stimulating jobs left me wondering if my brain still worked. Turns out it does... quite well at that! We got our first assignment back yesterday, and had our stage one evaluations with the instructors this morning. The assignment wasn't easy, but it was pretty straight forward. We had to diagnose a couple of the grammar & pronunciation problems of a student and come up with activities to address them. I didn't do the best job ever, but I got it done and when I got it back it was graded "Pass" (I think the grade options were Resubmit / Pass / High Pass or something like that). Two of the guys in my group have to resubmit the assignment (one with only minor corrections of terminology usage) so I assumed that overall half the class would have passed. Nope... in the other group - *no one* got a "Pass" on their first draft! I wonder if that had to do with the fact that the other group works with more advanced students and therefore has more complicated errors. No idea. But I was shocked to learn that only 2 of the 8 of us passed... it made me even more appreciative that I passed!


Then in my one-on-one with the instructor I found out that I'm headed for a "Pass B" if I keep doing what I've been doing. My mantra for this whole course has been "I don't need to be perfect, I just need to pass." And I guess it's been working because I haven't over-thought or over-planned or over-stressed. I don't like having the expectation set that high though... it freaks me out a bit. So I'm going to keep telling myself "I don't need to be perfect, I just need to pass." and not psych myself out.

Even better than the grade, I had a good chat with my instructor. He was very complimentary - which is always nice. But also when I explained the parts of the course that I liked (collaborating with other teachers, working with the students) he said I'd get a lot of that once actually working as a teacher; and the parts that I really don't like - lesson planning, I'll get to modify a fair bit once I'm a real teacher. So that's good... that the career profile equals more of what I like and less of what I don't like about this course. It's also making me think that I really would like to get a Masters at some point, and become a "real" teacher.


Finally, I got to tell him that I didn't like his question / answer with a question technique. It was actually really great because I felt very comfortable and confident giving him that critique... you know... I could never complain about the people I worked with before. Yes, there's a strong "I'm the instructor / you're the trainee." boundary... but it's a lot more fluid, and less like my old job where if one of the faculty did something that I hated, I'd just have to suck it up and deal with it. Basically, I'm treated, if not as an equal, at least as an intelligent adult with a right to my own opinions. It's a nice change!


Now if only I could make some real friends!



In other news... there seems to be some kind of political situation going on down in Bangkok - I only have the most cursory information. There have been protests, rail workers are striking, certain main roads have been blocked off, some arrests, etc. etc. It looks a bit scary, but the only thing I've personally noticed is that instead of all the TVs in the restaurants being tuned to Soap Operas, they're all tuned to the news. I'm safe, everything is fine. When I got here I registered with the US Consulate and will keep up with their travel advice page. If the situation goes south (which I think is unlikely in the extreme), I'll do whatever they recommend. Heck - I have a bunch of Australian friends now, if necessary I could just hop right on over there!

Pictures

Ok, you folks have read through pages and pages and pages of unedited stream-of-consciousness travel blogging... you deserve a break. Here are some pictures:

The back of the school, those are our lockers, and that's the table where we hang out on break. You'll notice that it's all open air back here, so it can be quite warm & humid. Also, in the upper right corner you'll notice a couple of the boys' shirts hanging there. We wear casual clothes for the morning session and get changed after lunch before teaching.*
I am really glad I brought as many clothes as I did because I'm going through at least two outfits a day (one nice, one casual) and just don't have time to be doing laundry every night.


This is the classroom on the second floor where I teach. It's called "China", upstairs from "China" there's "Holland" and "England." On the ground floor is "Australia" where we have our morning input sessions. There is a mysterious door marked "Belgium" that we though might lead to a secret stash of chocolate, but were sad to learn it was just another door into "Australia".

LUNCH!!!
Here is the big long row of food-stalls across the street from my school. There's a roof, obviously, but it's all open air. There are about 20 different restaurants, plus the awesome fruit man who's been trying to teach me some Thai, and the bakery lady with the heavenly brownies.

Some of the restaurants have menus in English, (often hand written) in addition to their Thai menus.... but most of them have pictures. I know enough Thai to ask for chicken and rice... and am never disappointed with what I get.

This meal - stir fried chicken & cashews was phenomenal. Two things to take note of, one is the portion size. This is what an actual portion size of chicken and rice should be. But it's not like a "right portion / right price" stupid promotional thing, it's not a 3 points 2 carbs Weight Watcher's thing ... it's just what the people eat. Same thing with the fruit I've been eating. It's not a health-food thing... it's just that right next to the bakery lady there's a guy selling fresh fruit in individual serving sizes. I'm not *trying* to eat healthy here... I'm just eating. It's just a healthier environment all around. The second thing to note is the price. This dish cost I believe 30 baht... which is about a dollar. The packs of fresh fruit cost 10 baht, or about 30 cents. This is what qualifies as "Cheap Fast Food" around here. Yes there's a KFC, yes there's a 7/11 with sodas and candy... but it's cheaper and easier to eat actual food. I really like that.

Quick update from today's lunch though. I have yet to figure out which restaurant is which, and I've always had good food, so I haven't cared much... but I'm going to need to start figuring it out. Today I ordered pork fried rice... and at another place I had it, it was divine. But here it was just on the edge of too spicy for me. I was doing okay, sweating buckets (what's new) but okay. Then I got to the pepper. Oh man... I almost started crying. The thing was, I was really really hungry so I just did the best I could to fish out anything that looked even vaguely pepper-esque and just eat the rice. And then of course, I had to spend some quality time in the bathroom before heading up to class. Fortunately I wasn't teaching.




*I typed up this post the other day, and just wanted to add that this was the yucky dirty floor I had to lay down on yesterday when I felt sick. Not the most pleasant thing ever.

Not my best day ever...(receptive skills task - reading)

Engagement - "Think about a bad day you've had. What happened? In groups" (gesture 2 together, 2 together) "talk about a bad day."

Global task - "Read this" (gesture towards blog post) "and circle the topics you see." (motion circling on hand out.... hand out sheets to class.)

Topics: Sports - Food - Family - Digestive issues - Politics - Clothing - Offensive gestures


Instruction check - "Is this a speaking task, or a reading task?" (elicit 'reading task')

Presentation:

It started out poorly, brightened up for a minute, then got worse, and even worse from there, but now I'm home... eating... and feeling at least for the moment, better. First off, I didn't sleep that well last night - I was up entirely too late, for moderately productive reasons - and then got up a bit too late for a proper breakfast. I've been trying to keep food in my room, but really didn't have anything appetizing. All I wanted was a bagel... unfortunately, Thailand is not known for it's baked goods. I knew I needed to eat something, but I peeked into the mini-mart in my residence and nothing looked good. I didn't think I had time for a sit down breakfast so I headed towards school.

The songtaew driver completely misunderstood my directions (my fault of course since I don't speak Thai) got us all going in the wrong direction...when he stopped I had no idea where we were and had to get out my map to show him where I'd wanted to go. All kinds of awkward, I felt bad for not communicating better (must learn Thai!!!), and I'm sure he felt lame for taking me to the wrong place (really it's just a straight shot from my place to school... not complicated). Anyway, I got to school and thought I would at least see my fruit man and get something in my stomach before class. No such luck... his stall wasn't set up yet.

No problem, there's a little coffee shop near the school so I stopped in for a Chai Yen - Thai Iced Tea. I figured there would be enough calories in that to at least get me started.


I was wrong.


So.Very.Wrong.


I get into class and start feeling a bit not-good. So I ran to the bathroom - Chai Yen went right through me (sorry for the TMI). Back to class, back to not feeling so great, back to the bathroom. Back to class again and we're talking about grammar - a really really important lesson for me, we were looking at all the possible tenses and example sentences for each. We were in groups putting slips of paper in order on a board. I was standing there and just not feeling quite right.


One of the example sentences was "I think I'm going to faint." (Future with "going to": usage - to make a prediction where there is some evidence from the senses in the present that the action/event will happen.) and after debating the tense for a minute I was like "I actually think I'm going to faint." And icky-stupid-cootie-boys in my group just kept going. I sat down and started fanning myself. I was not feeling better. "I think I need to lie down." Wonderful-only other woman in the class, who also happens to be a nurse-Sheila looked at me and asked "Are you okay? Do you need some air?" At which point I really started to lose it, I didn't know what I wanted or needed, I just felt like I was going to cry. "Let's go outside for a minute." she continued.


I went out in the back and lay down on the dirty gross tile out in the back courtyard. I just lay there for a couple of minutes trying not to just break down into hysterics... while Sheila told me to breathe, then got me some (filtered) water and a cookie. I sat up & ate the cookie, Sheila gave me some candy too and eventually I started feeling a bit better so went back to class where the icky-stupid-cootie-boys had naturally just continued the lesson without us. I know that that's the only thing you can do in that kind of situation (the class must go on) but I can't pretend I wasn't hurt that I didn't get so much as a "feeling better?" when I re-entered the class. Gradually I felt at least physically better and on our first real break of the day I went and got some "coconut butter crackers" (seriously the blandest thing I could find) & bottled water at the 7/11.


By lunch time I was feeling better and got a good lunch in me (not what I thought I ordered - but good nonetheless). Blood-sugar was rebalanced, hydration was restored and mood improved. And when I came back into the school after lunch one of the office ladies asked me if I was okay - she said she heard I'd been sick and was all concerned, patting my arm in a very reassuring & motherly way. I told her that I was fine, I'd eaten and I felt good now. So that made me feel better and not so much like no one would've cared if I'd just died there on the floor.


Mood improved further when I got some very good news in an email! Except that, in sharing that good news I promptly 1. made an extremely rude (in Thailand) hand gesture to all of the women in the front office and 2. brought up a very sensitive & painful topic for someone else. Although neither offense was intentional, I ended up feeling really bad about both. Onward - time for teaching practice!


I didn't teach today, and had put in a fair amount of effort towards my lesson plan last night so I was feeling okay about things when I handed in my lesson plan to my instructor. But for some reason my instructor and I have massive communication problems. It's a style thing. When he is just presenting information, I find him very clear and knowledgeable. I just take notes and absorb. That part is fine.


But then he says "If you have any questions - just ask me." and when I do try to ask him a question, he answers by asking me a question back. I understand why he does it but it's extremely difficult for me to deal with. It makes me not want to ask him questions because I know I'm just going to have to figure it out myself. So I ask my first question and he answers with a question - no problem because in answering that I do come up with the actual answer to my question. But then he makes a reply to the effect of "see how that works" which I took as a response to what I had figured out, and reply "oh - so that's not good?" but no... he wasn't replying to me, he was making an aside to the rest of the group - meta analysis of my question/question as an answer session with him and how it works as a teaching tool. Does your brain want to explode now??? Mine did!


So we sort that out and I move on to question number 2, but as I'm asking it, I know that he's not going to give me an answer so I start trying to work it out for myself. In the process of speaking, my sentence changes from a question to a statement. "You haven't asked me a question yet." my instructor replies and I want to scream because I'm not asking him questions because I know he won't answer them. Here's some meta-analysis for you, what's the communicative function of asking a question????? To get an answer! If you know you're not going to get an answer - why the hell would you ask the question????? My final question / concern is about my last activity on the lesson plan, what to ask the students in feed-back. He gives a suggestion, "What would you change about where you live?" but it uses a structure we haven't dealt with yet so I need to reframe it in the appropriate language. I start working it out and say "What do you like about where you live? What don't you like?" to which my instructor responds "That's not a question."


Rebel's brain completely short circuits - fizzy-popping sounds emit from ears.


I don't know that much about grammar, tenses confuse the heck out of me, I missed most of our grammar lesson lying passed out in the back courtyard. But I know, I *know* that "What don't you like?" is a question, it may not be the best question to use in feedback with the students, it might be using the wrong grammatical structure for my level of students, but I know that it is in fact a question. I stare confused at him for several seconds... I blink a few times. I'm totally lost, and he repeats what he'd said at the beginning "Ask me any questions and I'll try to help you out." Which clues me in - his "That wasn't a question." meant not " 'What don't you like?' isn't a question" but rather " 'What don't you like?' isn't a question to me your instructor about the lesson plan - so why are you saying it out loud?"


ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


I wanted desperately to bolt from the room to go cry someplace. Instead I tried to calmly and politely state that his suggestion was helpful but I was just trying to verbally work out the language so I could hear it, then write it down so I wouldn't forget. I had more questions about my lesson plan but hell if I was going to ask them at that point.


Instructor's presentation of material - to standard
Instructor's rapport with students - not to standard
Instructor's overall shit-headed-ness - above standard


I wanted very much to go out for a beer with the guys after class. Even if they are icky-stupid-cootie boys... at least they're good for a laugh and we could all bitch about class together. But no, they didn't want to stop for a beer. They wanted to get trashed and more than likely pick up on Thai girls. I was not invited.


I hopped into a songthaew and hoped for the best (two crappy rides in as many days had me in doubt of ever getting home). I really really really wanted to just break down and cry right there, it was all just too much today. But there were already two Thai girls on the songthaew and crying would mean losing face. I wouldn't mind losing face - it doesn't mean anything to me, except that the appropriate Thai response to seeing someone cry would be to point and laugh, trying to spare me the embarrassment of losing face - and I just couldn't take that so I sucked it up. Jai Yen


And I was really hungry again so I couldn't even go home - I had to get some food. I do like the fact that Thai portions are more normal sized and I'll probably lose a bit of weight while I'm here... but it means that if I don't snack or don't pay close attention to meal times, I end up starving by the end of the day. So I just went to the supermarket to get some dinner & do some grocery shopping. Dinner was good... but again, small. So I picked up some bread, ham and a really special treat - cheese - for dinner. I almost didn't get the cheese, because it was so expensive, but given how crappy of a day I'd had I indulged.

Your eyes do not deceive you... that's exactly 4 slices of gouda cheese. Like, about as much as I could easily down in one sitting with a couple of crackers & a nice glass of pinot gris (mmm... I soooo need some wine). It cost 125 baht - or about $4 US. In comparison, my lunch today cost 30 baht, and dinner 40 baht (a full western breakfast cost about 100 baht). So each of those slices cost about as much as a full meal. DANG! I still have money in the bank, but I'm trying very hard to start living on a realistic Thai budget.

It was worth it though, I got home and made a second dinner of a proper ham & cheese sandwich and am actually full for the first time in several days. I'm also freshly showered and in my PJs so, aside from the piles and piles of work I need to do tonight (clean up my lesson plan, do my mid-course self evaluation & start on assignment #2), I'm feeling ok. Not great, but at least like I'm not going to faint, or offend anyone, or lose face if I cry. Ugh. Not my best day ever.



Pair-check: "Now check your answers with your partner" (indicate topic list) "did you circle the same topics?"


Feedback - Write on white board 'Food, Digestive issues, Offsenive gestures' "Did everyone circle these answers?" (yes, or review) "Great job everyone! See you all tomorrow!"



Leave constructive criticism or lexical analysis in the comments section.

Riding in Songthaews with Boys

I taught again today, and it was kind of a mixed bag. I felt really comfortable, and I felt like I was actually teaching, but in feedback it came out that I'd skipped some things and didn't do some things in order. Most of the feedback was okay - and I passed, so that's all that mattered. It's just frustrating that when I do everything as asked it feels scripted and unnatural, and when I actually feel like a teacher - it's not quite good enough. Oh well, it's a learning process. It's only going to get tougher from here on out. I only need to pass, I don't need to be perfect. But now I'm worried about the first assignment, because I know I didn't give it my all. I don't know if I'm being lazy, or self-sabotaging or what, but I'm not putting in as much work as I could and I don't feel good about that. (So the Brit has a big problem with the word "should" so now I'm really sensitive to how & when I use it. But "I feel like I should be doing more work." is all I'm really trying to say.)

In any case I went out for beers with the guys and it was fun...and it was interesting. For the first thing... the guys are more into 'partying' than I am. I mean, I'm game for a beer or four ;) but not so much into drugs or other things they can do in Thailand. So it's a bit weird to be sitting there as they plan their next adventure knowing I'm not invited and I really wouldn't enjoy being there anywhere. It would help if Sheila & Joey would come out with us (they did pop in for like two minutes), but they're even less interested in partying than I am.

So it's just me & the boys and I was first subjected to a joke about prostitution - which wasn't funny on about 3 different levels... but I just let it slide. Then there was the discussion about how gambling, sex-toys & pornography are illegal in Thailand, so what do they do about porn? I just ate my dinner (and actually I can't even believe this was a question, I mean - why did he think the internet was invented??? You know, aside from for craft blogs. ;) ) And then there was the discussion about which country's girls are easiest. This was actually kind of funny. Aussie girls ranked high, but not quite as high as French Canadian girls. Then of course it comes to American girls and the statement is made "Yeah, American girls are kind of prudes." to which I could only say "Yeah... it's true." At least in my case anyway. I didn't want to go listing off the exploits of every 'easy' girl I know... I just left it at that. One of the guys tried to be sweet and was like "But that's a good thing." But really... I know they're all going after Thai girls this weekend.


It wasn't all just sex & drugs, we talked about politics, comedians, cultural stereotypes and sheep. You know... any time you get a couple Aussies together it's got to come up. And I know a good sheep joke.... I just couldn't remember it. Which you know, is always a thrilling conversation starter. =P I'm so lame sometimes. Thai beer isn't very strong (not nearly as strong as some proper Oregon micro-brews --- oh you don't know what I would give for some Drop Top Amber to share with the guys) so I didn't quite get to professing love for *everyone* at the table... just the Short Aussie. Which I hope he doesn't mind.


Then I got on a Songthaew with the Other American and got to talking so I missed my stop (you can't see squat out the windows). Except I don't think I actually missed my stop, my limited experience is that they don't exactly go in any logical order. There were three Thai teens already on, and three other Americans got on after us. I figured they'd drop off the Thai kids then get around to me. But we'd gone well away from my stop so OA told me I should get off and hop on another one going back. Which I did, and the Thai kids helped me out. In any case it took far longer and was far more expensive than it should have been. I need to be a bit more careful about that. But I'm home now so that's all that matters.

Ok - well, if I actually want to do better on my next lesson, I need to do some serious planning tonight. Just wanted to give you the news of the day. I'm afraid there aren't going to be too many more cultural experiences for a while... just class & (hopefully) hanging out with the boys.



^^ For your entertainment, I had taken this little video of my songthaew ride to the Night Market before my course started. It's pretty normal for me now (two rides a day) but it was quite novel when I first go there. For reference the other red pick-up truck we pass is also a songthaew - they're everywhere. It's songthaews or motor bikes for most people.

Spirit Houses

Nearly all of the hotels and shops I’ve gone past have little spirit houses on some corner of the property. Apparently this is where the spirits of the land or former inhabitants of the place live. They’re really pretty little statues and the people who live in the particular place offer food, flowers & incense to the spirits to keep them happy and content. I guess the idea is, keep them nice and happy in their own home so they don’t haunt you in yours! In any case, it’s just cool to walk by and see all these little houses decked out. Because seriously – they’re everywhere. The restaurant I was in tonight had a little alter – covered with blinking Christmas lights, there was an offering of fruit in front of it. All along the street you’ll see little alters or spirit houses with a glass of water (vodka?) set out by some incense, a little fruit or flowers. At the 7/11 they set out a bottle of soda with a straw (they drink everything with a straw here). And the couple of times I've gone out early in the morning I see people making offerings, showing respect, to the spirit houses. It just reinforces to me how spiritual the Thai people are... or rather how their spirituality & rituals inform their everyday life.

When I was at the SF airport I picked up a book for my flight – Lisa See’s Peony In Love. I didn’t read much of it on the plane, but I read a fair bit at the airport and I’m in the final chapter now. The story is set in China in the 17^th century, just after the Ming Dynasty fell and the Manchus took power… I’m not sure why I mentioned that… because seriously, how many of you are up on the order of the Chinese Dynasties? (total aside here… despite the fact that the Olympics are on just about every TV I’ve passed here, I haven’t actually gotten to sit down and watch a single event. I’m sad – I LOVE the Olympics!) Anyway much of the novel is narrated by a ghost and it’s really interesting because she talks about how the ancestor ghosts are fed by the food left on their alters, and what happens when the ghosts are not fed or properly tended in the afterlife. I know China and Thailand are different… but there are clearly some cultural overlaps and it’s just interesting to be reading this book while actually sitting next to an alter like that.

All of my Grandparents have passed away now… and the only physical reminders I have of any of them is my father’s mother’s knitting needles… and she’s the grandmother who died before I was even born. They’re all buried … well, clearly far from here… but not even close to where I used to live – back in New Jersey & South Carolina. I was not especially close to any of them after my family moved to CA… but still, it would be nice to have some kind of link with them… some way of acknowleding their influence on my life. I didn’t just come from nothing after all. It’s something I’m going to think about while I’m here.

* editing to say that when I was at the Night Market I was thinking about spirit houses and that there might be another spirit floating around me needing a home. I found an absolutely adorable carved cat and thought of Sally. It had one of it's paws up like the good-for-business cats you see at Chinese restaurants - very fat and happy. I haggled, but I'm sure overpaid. Then of course a few stalls down I saw a cat carving that was *actually* like Sally - curled up in a ball sleeping! I mean, Sally was not the playful, cheerful cat, and wouldn't have her paw in the air unless she was attempting to scratch someone's face off. =P So I got the curled up cat and a hand crochetted doily for her to sleep on. I'm sure I spent too much on it - which is fairly in keeping with Sally when she was alive. I added a couple of her hairs from one of my shirts (I think I'll be finding those for *years*) and put her name tag there. I don't plan on making any offerings of food or anything since she ate more than enough in this life to last through the spirit world! But I will give her a little scratch behind the ears now and then to keep her happy. The last thing I need is Sally haunting me the rest of my life.

"Working" Saturday

I went to bed before 10pm last night but couldn't sleep. Beer-induced insomnia this time I think. Eventually I took some benedryl to help knock me out. It doesn't help that my mattress is hard as a rock. It's like a gym mat like they use in wrestling I think. Just soft enough to qualify as "not actually a rock" but not at all soft or comfy. I am happy to report however that I now have a blanket. I was bemoaning the fact that I was still sleeping under a towel the other day and Short Aussie offered to bring one in for me. It's perfect, just a lightweight woven blanket - not so much for warmth as for comfort.

I got up and went grocery shopping- picked up some herbal sleep medicine to help with the insomnia and just dorked around for a bit. I have two full assignments to do this weekend and needed some reference materials to get started so I went to the school. In addition to teaching the CELTA course, the actually teach English, Mandarin, and computer classes, so it's open on the weekends. The ladies from the admin office were all on their break when I came in. They are super friendly and offered me some of the fruit they'd gotten from the stand across the street. The first one I couldn't identify at first, I thought maybe it was some kind of bamboo thing but it was SWEET... turns out it was straight chunks of sugar cane! Talk about a sweet tooth. And then they offered me another one which they said was 'sour' - a green olive! It didn't look *quite* the same as the olives I'm used to... a little tougher skin. But it was yummy. The office gals are really great... but try as I might I still butcher their names when I try to say them. I'm afraid I might have offended one of them with whatever it was I ended up saying... but you know they all just laugh it off (and I laugh too - stupid American doesn't know the difference between "Suzy" and "Shithead." ha ha ha).

I grabbed my books, chatted with some of the other students, then went home to 'work'. Except I've done precious little actual work. Still cogitating on everything that came up last night, pondering karma and the path my life has taken.

I still know precious little about karma and reincarnation... if that's really what happens, I'm pretty sure this is my first go 'round as a person. You know, there are just so many things in life that I don't understand. As intelligent as I feel in classes with facts & theories... when it comes to life lessons - I still feel completely clueless. I mean, I know I've grown as a person. I've gone from being governed by "should's" and "shouldn'ts" to caring a bit less what other people do in their lives, to even being a bit less hard on myself about what I should & shouldn't do in life. I'm starting to govern myself a bit more by how I feel. But most of the time I don't even really know how I feel. It's all new to me.

Like last night when the Brit and I were going to get dinner he said "we could go over there, or we could hop on my bike and go into the city if you'd like" and I had to think a bit before coming up with "I really really would." And I did. I hitched up my skirt in a most unladylike fashion and climbed on behind him. It was awesome to be zipping along in and amongst the rest of the traffic, actually seeing the city as we drove through it (in a Songthaew visibility is nil.) We weren't even going very fast but it was fun to feel the wind in my face... and no I wasn't wearing a helmet - it felt great!!!

It feels really good to not let the shoulda/woulda/couldas keep me from having fun. The Brit's philosophy is that everything is perfect, everything that's happening is meant to happen. I don't know how much I buy into that. I mean, sometimes shitty things happen for no reason. But it is a refreshing point of view. And I like getting to express myself more or less openly to him. Peeling back the onion as they say.

I'm really beginning to enjoy myself here... there's an openness and approachability to the city that I find refreshing. I've already mentioned that most stores & restaurants don't have doors... it's all just open to the breeze. So I can look across the street and have a completely unfiltered view into the people in another bar. And as we were sitting there, one of the other trainees came by (on his way to a real bar) and wandered up from the sidewalk to say hi. No waving from the other side of a pane of glass - he was right there.

I've been told that the counterpoint to this physical openness of Thailand is a form of personal privacy where you don't ask, don't tell about other people's business. I've yet to experience that... not having any Thai friends yet. But it's an interesting concept, one I've been thinking a lot about. This course is intensive both intellectually and emotionally. We're spending a LOT of time with each other, talking to each other, sharing each other, observing each other and critiquing/supporting each other. Far more personal interaction than I'm used to. It's kind of an automatic intimacy. It's something I haven't experienced since college. But I'm not spending the next four years with these people... just the next three weeks. Cogitate, cogitate, cogitate, ponder ponder ponder.

And with that I'm going to walk next door to the mall and have a $20 hour long massage!

That's one week down.

Week one is in the bag, I did three of my 8 total lessons. It's a bit weird to think about. Forgive me if this post goes a bit wonky... I got little sleep last night and I've had a few beers and a fairly in depth conversation tonight so my head is kinda spinning.

Regarding the course itself, I'm doing quite well. I wasn't thrilled with my lesson for today - things went a bit astray... it was a reading task and the students were talking (and talking in Thai at that), and then when there was a speaking task... one group didn't actually talk at all. It's a classroom management thing, and I'll need to work on that a bit more in the next class. Things are going to get a bit tougher and tougher as we go on I think, because we're learning something each day and need to be able to incorporate it into each successive lesson. So it's okay if we're flailing in the first lesson or two... but I think next week, we'll be expected to pull it together. I don't know. Hard to say. I don't feel overwhelmed with the amount of information we're being given, but it's still hard for me to deal with making mistakes in the classroom. I better get over it quick because it's not exactly going to stop happening.


As far as the people... it's interesting. I think that, as with any high pressure situation, people's true stripes start coming out. I've seen hints of it already. It'll be interesting to see what else comes out. You know, we're all bright eyed and bushy tailed the first day, but after a very intensive week, one or two of the students are already starting to show signs of wear. It's kind of hard for me to watch because thus far...I'm not overwhelmed. Yes it is a LOT of work and I have two assignments and a lesson to plan this weekend... I'm going to need to stay focused if I'm going to keep my head above water. But intellectually, thus far, it's not too much. And my second lesson, today, was also marked "Above Standard." It makes me feel very good to know that the first one wasn't just a fluke, it really reinforces the fact that I'm on the right track - career wise. But I need to not get focused on the external reward part. I just need to keep reminding myself that I don't need to be perfect, I just need to pass. Please remind me of this if I start sounding freaked out.


So tonight was interesting. A bunch of the boys went out to party (...) the couple- Shelia & Joey- went home to crash and I was kinda bummed that we wouldn't all be going out together (am I so Polyanna or what?) but I guess it makes sense. I ended up getting a beer and dinner with the Brit and we had a rather more intense conversation than I'm used to having. For one thing he gave me his first impression of me... no surprise "Proper" was how he put it and he contrasted that with how I was as he got to talk to me. And I explained that it wasn't so much that I'm "proper" as I try to be "appropriate" - class time, put on the good student hat, at the bar - kick back a bit. It was a very interesting conversation. He challenges me in a way that I'm not at all used to being challenged. Don't get any ideas - he has a girlfriend that he's completely head over heels for (it's endearing really) ... but I do like him quite a bit. Oh - and I got to ride on the back of his motorbike which I enjoyed immensely.

It's just going to be an interesting bunch to get to know. Everyone's got a story - I mean, that's true of everyone anywhere. But it means something to pack up your life and head abroad for an experience like this.... and to someplace like Thailand in particular. It just makes you think - who's running from something, who's running towards something, who's just out for fun, who's in it for a cultural experience? I'm a bit curious to see what shakes out. I'm a bit concerned about what's going to shake out of me.

The Brit & I talked about emotional boundaries, how it's important to know the difference between "my problem" and "not my problem". And yeah, I have a bit of work to do in that area (not so much). But I think my issue is more that I'm very good at putting up the emotional boundaries - the whole "proper" thing... it's hard for me to know when to take them down.

Hmmm...maybe I should leave it at that. My head is spinning... lots to think about on several different levels. OMG - it's only 9:30 but it feels like 2 am!

Laundry Day

When I was packing I was urged by a couple of people to “pack light”, in particular I was told things like “plan what you’ll need for a year and bring half as much” and far less vague but far less realistic “just bring three outfits, and wash one in the sink every night.” None of this was particularly helpful to me. J. reassured me greatly as she helped me pick out a second rolling suitcase “Yeah, you packed too much – but everyone does.” She also, thankfully, told me there’s no such thing as too many tank tops.

It turns out I’m going through about two outfits a day (the idea of wearing the same outfit two days in a row is disgusting in the extreme), and rinsing things out in the sink was doing squat. Two pairs of my socks are stained beyond comprehension (new socks too!) from getting wet in my shoes, and all of my shirts are soaked after I wear them outside for an hour or two. There are laundry services all up and down my soi, but there was also a do-it-yourself wash station near the market, so I decided to give it a go.*

Here’s the thing… in the US you drive (or if you’re close by- walk) to the laundromat, it’s in a building; you open the door and walk inside. There’s a change machine and sometimes a dispenser for laundry soap, and more often than not a soda machine & some magazines. So in Chiang Mai, you walk down the Soi, trying hard not to be hit by passing motor bikes & cars, getting over to the side whenever two vehicles have to pass each other because the Soi is about two car widths wide… but you know, with food vendors, parked cars & motor bikes or sleeping dogs strewn here & there. Next to the market there’s a ‘wall’ (plywood and cyclone fencing) and a roof, and two posts holding up the roof. Under the roof there are four washing machines. There’s also a chair, a bench and a couple motor bike parked there. Mind you, on the other side of the wall, there’s a fish stand.

Ok – I eat meat, so this really shouldn’t bother me, but this is just about enough to turn me into a vegetarian. Turn away if you have a sensitive stomach… I’m serious… skip down to the next laundry section. I can’t quite handle this one fish booth, it is seriously, the freshest fish of the day. There’s a big ol’ bucket of fish (no idea what kind) swimming around in there, not quite packed like sardines… but close enough. Then there’s a table with whole fish with the sides slit, and right next to it is the grill with those same fishies that were swimming around in the pool moments ago now cooking away. I’ve walked by there a few times over the course of the day and you know the number of fish in the bucket goes down and the number of fish on the grill goes up each time I walk by.

There’s just something about the freshness of it and the actual killing being so close to the eating that’s a shock to my pampered western sensibilities. They don’t skin the fish, or chop its head off, or beer-batter dip it. It’s perfectly identifiable from start to finish. I know that animals have to die for me to have a cheeseburger. I get that on an intellectual level. And on a culinary level, I know that the fresher the ingredients, the better they taste. But seeing the fish like that makes me go straight for the mangos & cashews.

Ok – back to laundry. The fish stand is right next to the laundry station. The washing machines are cheap, and seriously high-tech. There’s a display that shows what cycle it’s on and how many minutes are left in each cycle. So I could look at it and see immediately that it would take 25 minutes, grab some snacks at the market, check to see that it’s got 12 minute left, take my goodies back to the guest house, come back and there’s only a minute left. And here was the nicest surprise. You know how in the US your machine is done and there’s a buzzer… big loud buzzer to let you know that the wash is done? Here, it was a cute little electronic song. I was like – what a pleasant way to let you know your wash is done… no need to wake the dead, just a little song to get your attention. Unfortunately that’s that… there’s no dryer. I guess in the dry months it’s no big deal but with 90% humidity and monsoon rains…line drying gets a bit tricky. I hung everything around my room the best I could and turned the fan on when I left. Most things got mostly dry by the end of the day and hopefully the rest will be dry by morning.

* I composed this post back at my first guest house and am post-dating it for when I expect to be too busy with school to actually update my blog. I was quite relieved to learn that in my residence there’s a big bright clean laundry room with a nicely tiled floor, painted walls & a glass store-front. No vending machine… but then, it’s situated next to the Mini-mart & the Café. Instead of buckets of fish… there are refrigerated bottles of Coke on the other side of this wall. ;)