Monday, February 9, 2009

Something's gotta give

Your good pal Rebel is a bit melancholy today. Was not quite able to recapture the glory of previous trips to Ko Samet last night. I did thoroughly enjoy the beach thought and spent hours and hours and hours in the ocean. I also spent hours and hours and hours on the beach with minimal sunscreen. Bad Rebel!

Being abroad is, in some ways, a bit like an intervention or rehab or something. You're taken away from all your normal comforts and escapes and forced to deal with life (both the things that come at you day to day, and the things you bring within yourself) in completely different ways. I'm having a day when all I really want to do is stay home and mope on the couch watching bad TV and eating cheese. Now, I don't have a couch or a TV and I don't even want to talk about the cheese situation. The thing is, sitting on the couch watching bad TV and eating cheese wasn't exactly getting me what I wanted out of life. Unfortunately I still haven't quite figured out what will get me what I want out of life.

Any ideas on that?


IamSusie said...

I am sorry to see that you are feeling down again. I wonder if part of the problem is that you haven't really made a home and now that the novelty of the trip is over, you are still in limbo.

I wonder if you are still looking for job satisfaction. Last year there was probably the best Oprah show I have ever seen. Maybe you saw it too... The theme was ,"I Hate My Job". Now I know you like your job, and I think you have a knack for teaching, just maybe not with the young ones.. ;-)

Still though the advice was great. People should focus more on doing what makes them feel powerful and capable. The expert had a whole process for identifying those things:

Hang in there! This feeling will pass. Everyone needs a few lazy unproductive days when we wonder what it all means.

Mag said...

It's a journey, and some parts aren't so exciting, with or without cheese.

Buck up kid! Make some plans. Plans are always fun while life does what it wants. ;-) (You didn't take your knitting, did you?)

d said...

existential angst sucks it big time, doesn't it?

i wonder if any of us are ever truly satisfied. at least i think intelligent people have a hard time enjoying life to its fullest. i kind of distrust people who say they are always happy. either they're delusional or lying, i can't figure out which.

Kaye said...

Huh, I don't have anything to really add that hasn't already been said already other than I think we all have our bad tv cheese days. Mmmm....cheese.

Jonathan said...

I hear ya!

Jeannette said...

Maybe eating cheese is what you want out of life, I say as I finish up another day off with a bottle of red wine and Dexter season 3.

But seriously, I understand what you mean.