We are dentists.

I went to the dentist last week, and I have to say it was pretty darn easy too. There are tons of dental clinics in Rayong. I went to the one recommended to me by Marie who recently had her two front teeth replaced as the result of a motorbike accident. I figured she would know.




I think it's called Pattaya Dentists... but I couldn't read that sign if I tried (funky modern font). The tooth though, that's a pretty good hint. ;)


And a block down the street there's this clinic. I LOVE this sign.

"We are dentists." - informative, succinct, grammatically correct- what more could you ask for?

The whole experience was pretty typical of my life here. Everything's exactly the same, but completely different.

Exactly the same:
I was really dreading going. I have really bad teeth, I know this. They're too close to floss easily, the enamel is weak and I've been told I have acidic saliva. These teeth put Amanda Bynes through college.* They are also absurdly hypersensitive. I once complained that my teeth were still hurting three hours after a cleaning and was swiftly informed that cleanings aren't actually supposed to hurt. Hmmm...


So despite the fact that Bunny & Bobby went in for a cleaning back in December, I've managed to put it off until now. But my teeth were bugging me and I was afraid I might have a cavity so I finally put on my big girl panties and marched myself to the clinic.


Completely different:
When I walked into the clinic I took off my shoes and put them on the shelf by the door. I was barefoot on the cold tile floor. I had only intended to make an appointment for the next day - to give myself time to mentally steel myself for the experience. But when I told the (blessedly English-speaking) staff that, they said pleasantly "No... today. Please sit down." Um... ok.

After filling out a brief contact card (listing drug allergies and other medical conditions) I sat down on the couch. I had barely opened a magazine before I was called in. Now, I've waited significantly longer than this when I've had a scheduled appointment, so that was a bit of a shock.


Exactly the same:
I was led back into a little glass cubical with the dentist's chair and all associated gear. The hygienist got a sterilized tray out and placed it on the table. She took my glasses & purse etc. and draped me with a little paper sheet.


Completely different:
The actual dentist came in, wearing his white coat & all to do the cleaning.


Exactly the same:
He showed me the tartar on my teeth using a little mirror and told me "You should use floss every day." >roll eyes<

Completely different:
They put a towel over my eyes and another over my neck and chin. I actually liked this. Not only did it shield my eyes from the bright light & protect my chin from spray-back, but it eliminated the awkwardness of staring up the dentist's nostrils while he worked.


Exactly the same:
"Please rinse your mouth."


Completely different:
Well, not completely. The cleaning was quicker not nearly as thorough as I've had in the States. There was no fluoride treatment although there was more than enough scraping & polishing to satisfy me that I was better off for having it done.


Exactly the same:
It hurt like a bee-ach. The dentist chuckled "Yes, a lot of people have sensitivity to cleanings." as I batted his hand away after he scraped a particularly sensitive spot.


Completely different:
With no insurance, I had to pay myself. But it was only 700 baht ($20 US) or in more practical terms, a smidgen more than twice my hourly wage. In the States a cleaning was more like $70 or 3.5 times my hourly wage. So while it was cheap for me, it's hard for me to say if it's considered affordable by the average Thai person. Probably not.... but probably not prohibitively expensive either as I'm pretty sure I got charged the farang price.


Final verdict: When I told my dentist in Oregon that I'd be living in Thailand, and when I've talked to westerners about dentists here in Thailand I've gotten a reaction to the effect of "Oh you don't want to go to a Thai dentist if you can help it!" But nothing about my experience would lead me to agree with that sentiment.** The place was modern and clean, the dentist spoke English well enough to indicate he'd had some serious schooling. All the equipment looked pretty standard, and my teeth do feel and look cleaner. They're still sore despite the dentist's assurances that I had no cavities. But I'm not going to worry about it much. And now that I've done it, I kinda wish I'd done it sooner.


I don't know if I would go as far as recommending that a tourist go get his/her teeth cleaned while traveling here... but it was one of those experiences that was just different enough to make me realize that the way we do things in the States is not the only (nor necessarily the best) way to do them. If more people had the benefit of that perspective, I think it would help the debates about how to fix what's wrong with health care in the states.


TAG: Code Watermelon

















*No joke - when my family lived in CA, her dad was my dentist. I saw her as an Ooompa Loompa in my High School's production of Willy Wonka when she was like 6.


**On the other hand, I have heard second hand stories of a dentist chipping a tooth he wasn't working on, and then trying to charge the patient for fixing it. I'm guessing 'malpractice' doesn't really translate.

Rayong

My mood has been on a steady upswing the past couple of days. While culture shock definitely played a part in my last grump-fest there were some physiological contributors as well. After getting back on my thyroid meds, rearranging my furniture and making an attempt at getting some level of exercise (ie - not immediately crashing on my bed as soon as I get home), I'm doing significantly better.


Today was an easy day, only one class from 1pm - 2:30. My five year old student. Private lessons with kids haven't been as horrible as I had anticipated. It is a bit like baby sitting, which isn't that much fun, and the 5 year old can't sit still for very long. But the books are okay. One of them comes with a CD of songs, chants & dialogue. Basically we sing and dance to two songs in the beginning, do a lesson that includes listening to and repeating what the CD says, do a craft or fill in some work book pages, play with the flash cards, do some actions (get on the bus, sit down, stand up, get off the bus), then it's snack time. In adult classes, when the staff brings coffee in I just keep teaching, but with the kids, I just let it be snack time. Then another game or work book page and it's time for the clean up song & goodbye song. As annoying as it is to have the clean up song stuck in my head "It's time to stop, clean up. It's time to stop, clean up. It's time to stop, clean up. Put our things away." the songs eat up a good 10-15 minutes of class time, which is just fine with me.


Having a later class allowed me to go to the B&B for a leisurely breakfast of a Thai omelet, rice & soup (it's like a chicken broth or similar with cilantro and some other herb type thing in it). And finishing early meant that after class I had some time to sit at the coffee shop reading through my guidebook and getting some ideas for my final tour.


The coffee shop owners were watching TV, a surreal, but highly entertaining, experience for me. At first I wasn't paying attention, but then I noticed that I kept hearing vaguely familiar songs that seemed strangely out of place. It turned out that the Thai soap opera they were watching was using songs stolen from the soundtracks of other movies. Some background music from Amelie for example, something from one of the Jane Austen adaptations (Emma, I think, but it was over before I could totally place it), and most bizarrely... the theme from The Simpsons Movie. While each piece seemed at least moderately appropriate to the scene in the drama, hearing such recognizable and disparate songs all thrown together like that - it was like someone had just selected a "soundtracks" playlist and set it to shuffle.


Next was a talent show for kids. Two different groups performed lip syncs to the Wonder Girls' song "Nobody", which...I'm not even sure has made it outside of Asia (the band is Korean) ... but it is HUGE here. At the end of one of the performances, the host interviewed the girls. One of the girls sang a bit of the song in Korean - impressing the host and audience alike. But then he asked her "Kow jai mai?" (... do you understand it?) to which she responded "Mai kow jai." (don't understand) and I cracked up.


It was such a treat to be finished with work while there was still daylight, so I had an early dinner then decided to walk to the park. Something I always mean to do, but never get around to. I'd been once or twice, but always at odd hours. This was the first time I'd come at prime-time. Apparently EVERYONE goes to the park after work. I have never seen a park so completely crowded with people before. There were tons of games going on - basketball, badminton, soccer, and even ta-kraw

Ta-kraw is like hackey-sack on steroids. The idea is to kick the ball into the net.

In one area of the park I saw some people practicing Ballroom dance - seriously, I think it might have been a waltz. In a nearby area a man was practicing a fan dance. Across the park in another corner there was a step-aerobics class going on. Surrounding the soccer field was a walking/jogging track and there was an absolute shit-load of people on it. I couldn't believe it... actual traffic, like you really have to watch before you step into the flow. I'm not much of an athlete, and I wasn't quite dressed for exercise - in a button down top & flip flops, a purse flung across my chest, but walking I can handle. I was having a good old time walking around, completely absorbed in people watching and delighting in the idea of all these people who stop off to exercise together between work and home. Until I looked down and noticed that somehow 3 of the 5 buttons on my shirt had come undone. LOVELY! Fortunately everyone on the walking track was going the same direction, so it's possible that not everyone in the park saw me flashing my pasty white stomach.

Having swiftly but casually redressed myself I continued walking. I was watching people jogging with their toy dogs, granddaughters copying their grandmother's stretches, couples chatting, when suddenly I heard the beloved sounds of my native language. Someone was talking about ice cream. And sure enough, demonstrating the small-town nature of Rayong, the person speaking was an English teacher who works part time at my school. I'd only chatted with Annie (a Filipino woman about my age) a couple of times, but she'd always been friendly. I joined her and her sister and we walked several more laps together.

As much as I enjoy my alone time, it is nice to run into a friendly face so casually. Even better, she started complaining about her phone service... she's always calling her family back home & she keeps running out of minutes. I asked her if she had an unlimited plan and she said she did... but that it kept getting used up after two weeks. I asked her if she had DTAC and yup! She's apparently got the same "unlimited" plan for phone calls that I have for the internet. It made me feel sooooo much better to hear that I wasn't the only one who had had problems with their concept of "unlimited". But I told her what I'd learned about how you need to have the money on your phone the day *before* it expires in order to continue the plan and suggested she call the call center to get sorted out. I cannot even express how much better I felt knowing that it wasn't just me being retarded about my phone.

So that was my day. And it was a good day. Now that I've sorted out when to go (& what not to wear) to the park... I'll be going again.


TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce.

a three hour tour

Last Tuesday was the beginning of Buddhist lent. This marks the three month period when most 20 year old men become monks. I have nothing insightful to say about that, I've been woefully negligent in exploring the religion here.


But it meant that I got the day off work. In addition, my classes were canceled on Monday so I got an unexpected three day weekend! A few other teachers and I decided to go to Ko Samet for some R&R. One thing that we all wanted to do was go on a mini-cruise around the island. For 400 baht ($11.50) you get to spend the day sitting in well worn deck chairs on a delightfully decrepit boat, do a little snorkeling, visit a fish farm, have lunch on the boat and basically just chill out. I'd been wanting to do this for a while, but didn't quite have the guts to go alone so I was really looking forward to it.

Our more or less sea-worthy vessel.

The first inkling that we had that it wouldn't quite be all we'd hoped for was when we were delayed for about an hour by a rainstorm. No problem, we sat in a cafe sipping on cha yen and watching the clouds roll in over the water. I really enjoy storm watching, I have to say. And the monsoon winds were refreshing in the 90F heat. There was no talk of canceling the trip due to bad weather... something I love about Thailand (and Oregon too for that matter) - you just go for it. And as soon as it dried up a bit we were on our way.

Not far from the pier was our first stop - the fish farm! Now I'm not sure if this is supposed to be some kind of aquarium, or if this is where the island's supply of seafood comes from or what. There were some ugly looking silvery big headed fish, a sea turtle, and an impressive leopard shark.

I failed to get a single decent photo of the fish - that you can see anything at all in this picture is a tribute to Microsoft Picture Editor. =P

Back on the boat we began our three hour tour. Well, the weather started getting rough, and our tiny ship was tossed. There was lightning in the distance and watching the dark clouds roll in against the lighter skies on the other side of the island was quite spectacular. With a mighty ba BOOM the rains started again. Between the waves we were crashing into and the rain blowing into the boat I decided it was not the best environment for my brand new camera. You'll have to take my word for it... it was something!

It had let up a bit when we made our first snorkeling/swimming stop. Several of us took a flying leap off the side of the boat to go for a swim. It was actually warmer in the water than it had been up on the boat. Naturally ... the rain started up again, but we thought- what's the point of getting out of the water? We were already as wet as we were going to get... so we just stayed bobbing in the waves and screaming into the pounding rain. It was really really really fun. If you've never gone swimming in the rain, I highly recommend it. Yeah yeah... lightning and all... but you only live once.

They called us back on board for lunch - chicken kebabs, fried rice and fresh fruit. Yummy! Poor Marie wasn't doing that well. Even when the rain stopped the winds and waves were pretty strong (for the gulf of Thailand anyway) and she ended up yakking over the side of the boat. Never a dull moment!

When we stopped for the second snorkeling opportunity of the day the weather was substantially better, but the water was so cloudy we couldn't see anything. In fact, I was right on top of a coral covered rock and didn't realize it until I turned around and there it was, two feet from my face - and still so blurry it wasn't worth looking at. So again we just swam around, and jumped off the side of the boat a few more times.

A member of the fearless crew.

All told it was a lot of fun, and very relaxing. I would like to go again when the weather is calmer so I could actually see some fish. But any day I can be out in the ocean is a good day for me.

Especially if that day finishes up with a few drinks at the bar. =)

TAG: Code Sweet Chili Sauce

Chang Yai

The sheer novelty may have worn off, but seeing elephants wandering around the city still amazes me. I'll be crossing the street and there's an elephant - RIGHT THERE. Or I'm whipping around on the back of a motorbike taxi and we have to swerve to go around an elephant (with a flashing red light tied to it's tail mind you). Seeing an animal larger than a minivan walk up to me while I'm eating dinner is just not normal.

It's sad... but it is what it is. And it's weird because these begging elephants aren't for the benefit of tourists... it's just a thing that happens here. I still don't totally understand if it's people who are using the elephants to beg, or if it's some attempt at helping formerly working elephants survive in a new urban environment. So I'm not sure if by buying the sugar cane to feed it I'd be helping or hurting the situation. Thus far I've avoided participating.

My elephant related vocabulary is improving though. I point out any elephants I see on the road to my driver - flipping through my phrase book for appropriate adjectives.

I can now say:

Chang yai - Elephant big

Chang lek - Elephant small

Chang song tooah - Elephant, two animals

and

Chang mee quam sow, chang yak bai bah. - Elephant sad, elephant want to go forest.

TAG: Code Watermelon

field recordings

Just another taste of what it's like to live in Rayong.




This is a recording of the frogs that live in the pond/swamp near my apartment. At this moment I can hear an absolute cacophany of them. There's a slow deep bass rythym crooooak..... crooooak...... crooooak - it almost sounds like a duck's honk. But behind that is a slightly quieter but still plenty loud higher pitched overlapping ribbitribbitribbitribbit. I'm sure there are a few bugs of one type or another thrown in there, and naturally a dog (or five) howls to break up the monotony.







I also do a half-assed job of showing off the rest of the street. The place directly across the street is where I have breakfast more often than not (kai jeow baby!). And the multi-story peach colored building is where I live.








TAG: Code Watermelon

PS - it took me four tries and about as many hours to upload this video! I miss lighteningfasthighspeed internet.

Not my farang

Remember when all I would ever write about were my adventures in trying to feed myself? Well I seem to have mastered that skill, and have a few extra kilos on my frame to show for it. Apparently my dramatic weight loss was not meant to last. Mai bpen lai!

The Dive - it looks nasty, but the food is delicious.

My most recent favorite dish here has been moo tot kratiem - pork fried with garlic. OMG - yum! There's just a ton of crunchy garlic in each plateful, but it's not excessively strong. I think the frying helps mellow out the flavor. I'm not sure what else they use to cook the pork, but it is mighty tasty. Before I leave here, I'm going to have to work up the courage to ask them how they make it because I cannot go home without being able to make this dish.

No Thai table is complete without a roll of toilet paper and a jar of toothpicks. Classy!

However, after eating moo tot kratiem day after day after day after day, it began to occur to me that I might want to eat a few veggies once in a while. Thus far the only veggie-rich dish I've been able to order has been pad pak loom (stir fried veggies with...pork, chicken, whatever). It's pretty tasty and the kind of thing most food shops can make. But it's often pretty heavy on the tomatoes and baby corn. I'm just not a fan of cooked tomatoes or baby corn. Not eating half the veggies in my 'stir fried veggies' kinda defeated the purpose of me ordering it, so lately I've been ordering fried rice and hoping for a lot of cabbage and carrots.

Recently I talked to a student about my dilemma (I love having pre-intermediate / intermediate students for a change!). She gave me the name of another vegetable to order - pak boon (morning glory in English), but my pronunciation was so bad that she recommended another one - broccoli. Amazingly the word is the same in Thai and English, even more amazingly I really really really like broccoli, next to carrots and snap peas it's one of my favorite veggies. She also passed on some even more useful information. I'd been told to ask for my food "mai pet"/"not spicy" but she explained that in Thailand "mai pet" means only put one or two chilies in, not six or seven (which explained why my food was still too spicy for me), but that if I really wanted it not to be spicy I needed to say "mai sai prik" "don't put chilies in it."





So the next night I went to the market - found a booth with some broccoli out front and ordered chicken and broccoli, without chili peppers. Ordering new dishes is always a bit of a gamble, so I was *delighted* when that is exactly what I got. YUM. Buoyed by my success, the next day I noticed some asparagus in a basket at The Dive and decided to try ordering it. I asked what the word for it was in Thai, "nor mai falang" which sounds a lot like "not my farang (foreigner)" which makes it blessedly easy to remember. I then ordered asparagus with chicken, without chilies. Success! Delicious success!

Remember - eat with your spoon, the fork is just for moving the food onto the spoon.

Last night I went out to dinner and attempted yet another coup. I decided to try Som Tam (papaya salad - practically the national dish of Thailand) using my new & startlingly effective phrase "mai sai prik". It was awesome! Because they use a giant wooden mortar and pestle to make it (and why would they ever wash it out between batches?) there was plenty of spice left over from the previous 7 chili version to give it some kick. It was tangy and refreshing and while my mouth was tingling, it was not burning. You have no idea how relieved I am. Every time I had to tell my students that I didn't like Som Tam it was like I'd insulted their Mom's apple pie. Now I can tell them that I love it and hopefully regain a little face. A very little since, you know... without the 7 chillies, it's not exactly the real thing.

Som Tam mai sai prik

Finally... it's fruit season here! In fact last Sunday was the famous Rayong Fruit Festival... so famous that my students neglected to tell me about it until *after* it was over. Another drawback to not speaking Thai is not being able to understand any of the signs or news stories about exciting events around town. Fortunately I have not completely missed out on fruit season. I've already had two near-durian experiences (this afternoon I was at an open air cafe and some people in the street were snacking... again I smelled it far before I saw it). They call durian the king of fruits, and to every Yin there must be a Yang. Mangosteens are the Queen. I've been given two free bags full of mangosteens, first by the lady at the coffee shop, and then by my laundry lady. And the other day, my driver gave me a lapful of mangosteens as we drove to my off-campus class (and I had fun practicing my Thai "I have mangosteen, 7 pieces." nom nom nom "I have mangosteen, 6 pieces." nom nom nom). They are so yummy. Very sweet and slightly tangy.

The fruit is in sections sort of like an orange. One or two of the sections will have a big seed (and the flesh clings to it like a mango) but most of the sections will have only tiny soft seeds you can eat. The texture of the flesh is somewhat peach-like, but the flavor is almost like a grape... a very sweet, very ripe grape with a touch of citrus or perfume to it. (btw - have you guys ever tried describing the flavor of a fruit to someone who probably hasn't tried it before? It's nearly impossible! I mean, honestly how would you describe 'banana'?)

Finally I got the nerve up to try a custard apple (no idea what the Thai name is). It's ugly but it's really good.

The black seeds are really heavy & hard (and there are a lot of them) but they're easy to separate from the fruit. They make quite a clunk when you spit them out onto the plate. The flesh is, well, custardy, soft, not too stringy not too grainy. And the flavor... this one I can peg exactly! It tastes like honey-suckle nectar. Delicious!

Of course, somewhere in the midst of all this culinary exploration I picked up my latest digestive bug... so you know, I'm back to Ritz crackers, Pepsi & now that I have an appetite again - a double cheeseburger at McDonalds. DON'T JUDGE ME! Industrial food has it's merits you know.

TAG: Code Mango (you know, up until I woke up puking ;) )

It had to happen sooner or later...

I may have mentioned how much I hate Saturdays. Well, today was something special. I went up to my class and some of the kids in the classroom across the hall were SCREAMING. I mean, there's the usual level of ruckus you'd expect from a hundred kids tromping up and down stairs going in and out of classes, but these girls were putting out hypersonic squeels that nearly made my eardrums bleed. I looked in the door to see if a teacher was there but didn't see anyone, so I poked my head in and shushed them good. Of course then I turned around and noticed that the teacher *was* in there, just sitting at her desk preparing for the class. D'oh! I said a quick 'sorry' and left. But ooooh, not okay to go in and discipline another teacher's kids... but honestly - I couldn't believe she could sit there and even attempt to look at her book with the kids screeching like that.


Have I mentioned that I don't like kids?


Anyway, with that pleasant little encounter, and three hours of class behind me I came downstairs to get ready for round two. There's a computer set up in the hallway near the teacher's room for the kids to play on before & after class. No problem except when the kids all pull up chairs and make it impossible for teachers to actually *get* to the teacher's room.


This particular day I was attempting to maneuver around the kids when the most horrid smell I've ever encountered wafted over to me. At first it smelled like some unholy combination of body odor and garbage. But a second later there was a wave of eau d'industrial cleaner. When I opened the door into the teachers lounge it was almost unbearable.


"Oh you missed your opportunity to try Durian!" said Jim, an older teacher from England.
"Is *that* what that was?!" I replied stifling my gag reflex to the best of my abilities.


Despite the fact that the durian had been consumed and disposed of before I got there I could still smell it - FROM THE HALLWAY! That's some powerful stank! I'd had no particular desire to try durian in the first place... but this just solidified it in my mind. No way, no how. If I never see or smell it again, I'll be just fine!


I left the teacher's room as soon as I could, but still had to make a couple trips back in there for one thing or another. Gah! Horrid. Jim stated, quite placidly that while he liked the fruit he was slightly bothered by the disinfectant they use on it (the second layer I smelled). Good LORD it was nasty! It's like the smell of every bodily function left to simmer in the sun by the side of the road absorbing a day or two's worth of pollution. The idea of someone eating it - it just boggles my mind. I really wonder if it's a genetic thing or not - your ability to tolerate the smell/taste of durian.


But I'm really not willing to investigate the matter.


TAG: Code Durian (Get me the hell out of the teacher's room!)

Coffee Shop and Fon Tok

The other day I had the morning free and lugged my computer over to the coffee shop. I had a nice time sitting, writing up my post about the weekend, and drinking entirely too much cha yen (Thai iced tea). Then, it started, the winds picked up, there was an unholy crack of thunder and BOOM the rain started.








I realize it's not all that spectacular if you live in real thunderstorm territory... but I still find it impressive that so much rain can come down so quickly.


Oh, and the area across the street from the coffee shop is the big food court area where I eat dinner most of the time... just a bunch of food stalls, although I generally alternate between two. Then as I pan right, you'll see the mini-vans that go to Bangkok. And a blue songthaew (modified pick up truck) goes by too. So it's just a little taste of Thailand in the rain.

Shut up and smile

One of the more surreal aspects of living in Thailand is hearing American music in different venues. A lot of restaurants and clubs have live music and while they primarily sing Thai songs, every once in a while they'll throw in a golden oldie from the states. I've heard a LOT of the Carpenters - ugh I can't remember the name of the song right now, then there's the standard dance mix I hear on Ko Samet or in some of the other clubs.... Sean Kingston: Beautiful
Girls, T-Pain & Flo-rida: Low, and Kardinal Offishal & Akon: Dangerous.... oh there's a couple others I hear a lot but I'm all out of google-fu for the evening.

The one song though, that I hear constantly is "When You Say Nothing at All." (written by Paul Overstreet & Don Schlitz - I have no idea which version I'm listening to here) I'm sure this song is meant to be a sweet and sincere expression of love and affection, but I just can't stand it. I lump it in with "I knew I loved you before I met you." and "Girl, you'll be a woman soon" as one of the all time worst sentiments conveyed in a love song. "You say it best, when you say nothing at all." seems all the more appropriate when sung to people who don't actually understand the lyrics. And it just typifies what little I've seen of the Farang man / Thai woman relationship. More often than not, couples in this dynamic speak very little of each other's languages and must therefore communicate through the language of 'love' (aka - sex & money). I hear this song, and all I can think of is who needs actual communication or intelligent discourse... all you need to remember for a relationship to work is "shut up and smile baby, shut up and smile." Gah!

Hmmm.... I thought I had more to say about that in this post. But it turns out I just wanted you all to know how much I hate that song. That's all.


TAG: Code Watermelon



edited to add that I went out tonight and sure enough the 'shut up and smile' song came on again this time with a woman singing it... good lord! I got excited though when "I will survive" came on and started to sing along, but was quickly informed that in Thailand this is a classic katoey (transexual) song. Lovely.

Vegetarians

It's tough to be a vegetarian in Thailand.

First off, they put meat in just about everything. Even if it's not a meat dish, it'll be seasoned with fish sauce, shrimp paste and oyster sauce.

Second of all... they just have totally different concepts of being a vegetarian. There's 'jay' which is a diet that monks occasionally adhere to. It's a purifying diet that omits meat and eggs, but also onions and garlic... and beer (the horror!). There's a 'jay' festival for 9 days every October for the purification of the soul. Many people participate in this and there are big community meals put on by the temples. So while people might understand that a person is 'jay' - they might wonder why they're 'jay' when it's not October, or why they're 'jay' and drinking beer. Then there's 'mon saw erat', which I think has fewer religious connotations. But it's also not quite as strict. Oysters and Oyster sauce are fair game for a 'mon saw erat' diet because (as explained to me by a student) oysters don't have blood.

Finally, if you want to eat a vegetarian diet, at some point you're going to need to find some alternative form of protein, which involves asking for tofu or eggs to be added to your food. This requires learning enough of the language to make yourself understood. Bunny has really given this the old college try, and often gets tofu added to her food, even if she has to say the word about 7 times in 7 different ways.

Vegetarian or not, ordering meals is always a bit like Christmas morning. You never know what you're going to get, and there's a good chance it's not going to be exactly what you'd asked for. Yesterday was, however, an epic fail. We went to a Japanese restaurant at the mall and she asked what on the menu was 'mon saw erat'... one dish was pointed out... then Bunny proceded to ask if tofu could be added to it. She said the word several times but the waitress looked confused and ultimately said 'mai mee' (don't have). Which was just not the case because we'd eaten there before and Bunny had somehow managed to obtain tofu. The waitress asks if she would like egg on the dish, and Bunny agrees while looking at the menu. Finally she finds a dish that has tofu in it and shows it to the waitress saying 'tofu tofu' in Thai. "Oooooh... tofu" the waitress replies... sounding exactly like how Bunny had said it. We can't hear anything properly here. I ordered a few pieces of sushi and tempura to share. Rex tried to indicate that he'd like the same thing I ordered. Bobby, smart lady, ordered something that had a picture next to it.

Bobby actually got what she ordered, and I guess I did too. But Rex didn't get any food as the waitress assumed we'd be sharing what I'd ordered. Bunny though, got two dishes.... one big bowl of tofu soup (yay tofu!), and another big bowl of some kind of rice dish.... with fish dumplings on top. FAIL! There was also a bowl of miso soup that no one remembered ordering. Bunny tried to dig into her tofu soup, but only chopsticks had been provided. When the waitress came back to check on us Bunny indicated the spoon in the miso soup and attempted to ask for another spoon. I wondered why she couldn't just use the spoon in the soup, but apparently she avoids using utencils that have touched meat as well and there was probably some kind of fish product in the miso soup. But you know what happened don't you? Did we get an extra spoon? NO! We got an extra bowl of miso soup.

All the extra food was fine though, as Rex and I were sharing the four pieces of sushi I'd ordered. So we also split the rice dish with the fish dumplings. It was good. Eventually the waitress brought Bunny a spoon so she could actually dig into her food. Nom nom nomming commences.

All is well... right? Oh no. Bunny notices a bit of crunchiness and looks down.... there's a bug in her spoon. Well, half a bug. EPIC FAIL! She's horrified, but starving, so she disposes of the bug and continues eating... until she finds another bug... and another one. We showed the waitress, who just kind of looked at us oddly, but didn't really do anything. At this point we start to wonder if it was an accident... or a seasoning. You know, it bothers me so much that I have to wonder about this... but seriously there's a cart full of garlic-fried grasshoppers at the food court where I get my dinner more often than not. So it kind of blurs the line between when it's okay to find bugs in your food and when it's not. But it also makes me wonder if bugs are considered 'mon saw erat' or not.


We left the restaurant and headed to the safe-have that is Starbucks. I ordered a hot cocoa (they set the AC so cold in there!) and Bunny orders a caramel creme frapachino something other and begins to feel better about her day... until she looks down at the beautiful white and swirly brown beverage in her plastic cup and sees... a hair.



TAG, on Bunny's behalf: Code Coconuts.