When I started this blog, I thought a lot about how much personal information to include. I decided pretty early not to name names, and to avoid posting pictures of kids (trust me, my little niece & nephew are freakin' *adorable*). But I'm always thinking about how much other content to include, and generally err on the conservative side. However I've recently been told that my blog is 'the tamest blog' on a particular reader's blogroll, so I'm going to take that as a hint that it's probably okay to include a bit more detail about my life.
So here's the first Work In Progress Mental Health Round Up!
1 - While I may not actually have Aspergers Syndrome, I might be working on social anxiety disorder, which is flat out bizarre. A while ago I figured out that my shyness is a function of the ratio of familiar to new people in a given situation. If I know most of the people in a given situation, I will be very outgoing and welcoming to any new people. If I am surrounded by strangers who all know each other... good lord I'll just about have a panic attack. I'm sure this is a pretty common form of shyness, but dang it's inconvenient when it comes to trying new things and meeting new people.
For example, the other day I went to a Quilt Guild meeting. Now, never mind the fact that I already knew two of the people who would be at the meeting, and never mind the fact that quilters are about the most warm & friendly people on the planet, I was still freaking out on my way over there! And when they asked the new guests to stand up and introduce themselves... I threatened my friend with bodily harm should she rat me out as a newbie. I mean really... they were handing out little goodie bags to the new people and I still wasn't about to introduce myself. I have got to sort this out, or I really will end up being the crazy cat lady. And why again do I think it will be fun to go to a foreign country for a year or two???
2. Denial... it's not just a river in Egypt, it might also be a suburb of Nashville population: my family. Now I really did have a good visit with my family, but I kinda think that might be because I've finally perfected my mother's habit of pretending that everything is fine when everything is not fine. Pretending that my family is not really racist, and that my sister & BIL are not irrationally overprotective, and that my dad is not, well, a jerk. I can keep it up for a couple of days anyway. But it's probably not the best way of dealing with life. One day, I think it would be nice (maybe not nice, but novel, refreshing) to be able to speak my mind to my family, to call them on their crap. I don't think that day will be any time soon though.
3. And, as I'm constantly advising others to seek therapy, I should say I've finally found a new therapist myself. The jury's still out though. She seems smart & easy to talk to (and has a Rothko painting in her office) but I've only been to her twice, so we'll see how it works out.
So that's the biggest "work in progress" in my life right now. More knitting & baking & crafty-goodness to come later, but for now that's what's been on my mind.
4 comments:
Heh. I deliberately chose not to tell you about the visitor thing at Guild because I was afraid you wouldn't come if you knew. Does that make me a bad person? I was deliberately late the first time I came, just in case something might be up. Seriously, everybody hates the visitors thing; I wish Maureen would just give it up.
I have a new therapist too! Or rather, a new Psychiatric Nurse Practicioner. She has exotic multicultural objects d'art, so I think she'll be good.
Many, if not most people have anxiety in new social situations. I hate (fear?) small talk on the phone because I am afraid that I'll get diarrhea of the mouth and talk too much or say the wrong thing. In person I'm not so worried about small talk because I get the visual social cues that I need.
I think we internet blogger crafty people are really just more introverted types and that's okay.
M5K - I don't know if it makes you a *bad* person, it probably makes you a *smart* person. Yeah, as a visitor I would feel more welcomed if there was like a designated greeter who would introduce me to 2 or 3 friendly people I could sit with and who could then introduce me to a few more people. That's far less scary than having to address a couple hundred people in any kind of coherent manner.
Susie - I also hate talking on the phone, it's not so bad if I'm calling for a specific reason, but if I have to 'chat' I really don't like it and can only do it comfortably with a couple people.
Yeah I hate those virgin trips to wherever like your guild meeting. Of course after the first time I'm pretty good. The first knit group I ever went to--oh boy, uncomfortable! Gives me the jeebs just thinking about it!
Post a Comment