February Sucks Ass

you were probably all thinking it... I'm just going to come out and say it!

- Someone I "knew" online died from a crappy disease. I didn't know her well (even in online terms) but I knew she had two small children, and mothers with little babies just should not die from crappy diseases... it just shouldn't be allowed!

- Other people I know have had crap hands dealt to them recently - in one case not getting a (well deserved!!) promotion, and in another dealing with family stuff that is just shitty & unfair.

- The weather's been gloomy & horrid all over... which is not in and of itself a reason to get cranky... but I think it adds to the overall suckitude of February.

And on a more personal note:

- Today I royally fucked up at work. ROYALLY! And it's completely, absolutely, inexcusibly, 100% my fault (well, maybe 99% my fault... but pretty much entirely my fault). I'm not going to go into details about what happened, but it was completely due to being a moron and will mostly likely result in a loss of $500,000. OUCH!! (as an aside I remember working as an accountant and not being able to balance my account... I'd be off by an annoying amount like $7.82 or $39.46 but I'd comfort myself by saying "screw it - I'd pay that much not to have to find it" I would find it eventually, but it made me feel better knowing that it wasn't *that* big of a deal.... this $500,000 is a pretty big deal)

- After work I really should have just gone to bed, but I figured I would go run some errands so I wouldn't feel like the day was a complete waste. I was going to treat myself to some genuinely evil fast food (criss-cut fries in ranch dressing... oh yeah), then go grocery shopping. Feeling rebelious I decided not to wear a coat (sometimes, I just get sick of wearing my big ol' winter coat). I figured I'd only have to walk from my car to Carls Jr. or from the car to the grocery store. Oh man did the universe have something else in store for me!

As I'm driving down the street my car's "your lights are on" bell starts dinging. I'm thinking WTF - I *know* my lights are on - it's dark out! So I turn my lights out and back on and the thing stops dinging. My first thought is that the dinger is broken because it rarely if *ever* actually successfully notifies me that I've left my lights on - which is why I have to carry jumper cables in my car. ANYWAY I stop at a light, start going again and the dinger starts dinging again. I'm looking at all the lights on my dash trying to figure out if there's an actual problem - but the 'check engine' light isn't on. The dinger stops... then starts again after another light. I'm getting pissed off when I finally realize the dial thingy is all the way on H which I assume means my car is "hot" although, honestly I have NO idea what that means. I also realize that I'm a few hundred miles overdue for an oil change and that my car is probably trying to notify me of this fact.

Fortunately there's a Jiffy Lube right there, so I pull in. And as the guy is coming up to my car I tell him "My car dial is on H and I think there's something wrong with it" and he doesn't even look at the car (which is now making very unhappy noises) "You should turn off your car right now! It sounds like you've blown a rod" - I didn't know my car *had* a rod! Anyway.... the guys at the Jiffy Lube tell me there's something bad about my car... terms like "head gasket" and "coolant" and "water line" are bandied about... the only part I understood was when they said "If you keep driving - your engine will blow up." I decided to believe them. They pushed my car over to the parking lot & gave me a recommendation for a mechanic. FUCK!!!

I *had* plans to go to breakfast tomorrow morning with the Hat Attack knitters... but it's not looking like that's going to happen now. Crap. =(

Since there was nothing more I could do, I just took the bus home. Remember how I oh so cavalierly decided to head out sans winter coat? Now I'm stuck with the prospect of waiting god knows how long for a bus out in the cold. Fortunately I had the good sense to dress warmly today anyway and I never leave the house in the winter without a wool hat.... so I didn't freeze to death or anything but still. I hate being cold.

So I stopped for some chinese food when I had to transfer busses downtown and check out what my fortune cookie says:

"You should be able to undertake and complete anything you desire"... not "You are able to..." or even "You will be able to..." but "You should be able to..." As in... yeah you should be able to undertake and complete anything you desire, but you won't because you're too much of a moron to know how to read a calendar or take proper care of your car! Guilt trip from a fortune cookie - just what I needed. It's possible I'm reading a bit too much into the cookie... I do that.

Anyway. I'm now back at home. Sally is curled up at my feet and I realize that as crappy as today was, it's hardly the end of the world.

- My awesome boss did *not* fire me, even though I totally think she had every right to. In fact she didn't even yell, but launched into "how can we fix this, and how can we make sure this never happens again" mode, which is why she's the most awesome boss in the world.

- In addition to not being fired, today was payday and I know I'll be able to pay for whatever repairs are necessary to my car.

- The gods were kind and decided not to send freezing rain down on my unjacketed self... and it was actually not intollerably cold out.

- Trimet... for once *was* on time, so I didn't have to wait indefinately at the dark & unfamiliar bus stop. In fact, I feel fortunate to live someplace where the public transport (although FAR from perfect) is fairly adequate and even if I decide not to fix my car, I'll be able to get around well enough without it for a while.

- And I am most thankful that the Plaid Pantry across the street from my bus stop at home sells both alcohol and chocolate ice cream!

(although WTH kind of ice cream is "blue bunny"???? They used to have Ben & Jerry's!)

I still say February sucks ass.... but at least it's the shortest month.




And DUDE! My spell checker isn't working (duh... someone was talking about that in the blogosphere the other day) forgive allllll my misspellings. Count it towards the cumulative ass-suckingness of the month.