Sally needs your help

Instead of just worrying about what to do with Sally girl while I'm in Thailand I'm going to ask for a little help from you & the universe & the powers of the Internet. Sally needs a new permanent home, and I hope you will help me find one for her.
For the record, Sally is a high maintenance cat, and I don't want anyone to take her in if they can't deal with that, although I don't really expect anyone to be quite as much of a slave to her as I have been. So I'll give the pros & cons and if you or anyone you know in the greater Portland / SW Washington area sounds like a good match for her, please let me know.


I'll give the cons first:

Sally has some health issues. Most obvious is that she is a chubba chubba hunk o'chubby cat.
Which means she has, at times, difficulty cleaning herself. She's not a smelly cat or anything, but she gets dandruff, and I do try to give her a bath a couple times a year. She likes to be brushed, especially around her face... she really gets into it.

Sally has an ongoing skin condition - she gets lesions that lead to scabs. I've taken her to the vet for this and a cortisone shot usually gets rid of them for a few months, but they always come back, and cortisone is not a great long-term treatment option. I've also gotten a steroid spray to use on her spots (twice a day for five days) - but as you might imagine, she's not fond of being sprayed with a liquid that is cold from being kept in the fridge.

Finally, when diagnosing her skin condition, we discovered that she is allergic to a whole host of things, most notably: beef, chicken, pork, and corn (also sisal - the stuff they make scratching posts from - who knew?). All grocery-store cat food is off the menu. I've found a few acceptable alternatives at Western Pet Supply (Duck & Green Pea, Herring & Sweet Potato work well, she really loves Rad Cat raw food - Turkey or Lamb).

Personality wise, she's the queen of her castle.
She fights with other cats & dogs and would really do best being the only cat in the home. She's very affectionate, but only on her own terms. If you pick her up, or get 'in her face' when she's not in the mood, she *will* scratch you. She wants her breakfast at the crack of dawn. She will be a furry and insistent alarm clock.


Oh, and she HATES the vet. She hates the vet with a blinding fury and channels the strength of ten cats when they attempt to take her temperature. It's an awesome sight...to see chubby ol' Sally scratching the tar out of two or three full grown humans. When you take her to the vet, make sure they know she's a fighter & that they'll need the Kevlar gloves. Honestly - I'm not even sure that's a con... she's just really good at defending herself.



And if you've read that far, here are the pros:

Sally can be the sweetest most affectionate kitty ever. She loves to be around people, her favorite place to be is on your lap (or book, or computer). Wherever I go, she wants to be in the same room as I am. When I go outside to take out the trash, do laundry or get the mail, she follows me. I've never had a cat who did anything like this. She is very much a people-cat, and a complete attention whore. She will walk up to strangers on the sidewalk and flirt for some pets. She even tolerates kids, as long as they don't pick her up.


Sally is 90% indoors / 10% outdoors. When she is outside she generally stays close to home, watching the birds & squirrels and basking in the sunshine. She hunts a little, I've gotten mice, birds, and even a couple of (still living) baby bunnies on my doorstep. She's only caught one bird in the past few years though... her physique these days is built for comfort not for speed. I think she could be happy 100% indoors, as long as there was a sunny spot near a window where she could watch everything going on outside, but a balcony or deck would be even better. She's not going to roam or get into trouble, and is smart enough to stay off the street... but she, like any of us, likes to take some fresh air from time to time.

Sally supports arts & crafts! At this moment she's sleeping on a quilt in progress. She also likes to sit with me when I knit. She is an excellent knitting cat as she generally avoids getting into my yarn. I can knit right next to her and she doesn't swat the yarn... she only ever gets interested in yarn if I'm using it as an actual toy - or using my ball winder (what red-blooded cat resist that??).

Best of all - Sally does not scratch the furniture!

She's very good about using her turbo scratcher. So good, in fact, that the cardboard center will need to be replaced regularly.

Finally - just some general information:

Sally's somewhere between 11 -12 years old. I got her from the Thurston County Humane society in 1998? and she was about a year or two old then. So she's getting up there, but has quite a few good years left. And really, all she wants in the world is a cozy warm place to sleep (your lap will do nicely) and someone to keep the food dish full. If you, or anyone you know in the area would love to have a big-ol pile of fur to cuddle up with... Sally's your girl.

Attitude Adjustment

I've been watching Oprah again.... watch out! She's talking about the law of attraction, and it's really speaking to me.

Lately I've been pretty focused on all the things I need to do before I get to Thailand, and I've been pretty overhelmed & worried... people ask me if I'm excited and I reply that I'm terrified. What's up with that? That's no way to live. This is supposed to be a good move for me. I got out of my soul sucking job, how can I not be thrilled? So rather than spending the rest of my time here all stressed out, I'm going to give myself a little attitude adjustment and start expressing a little more gratitude.

So here goes:

I have everything I need.
I have enough money.
I'm smart enough to succeed in this course.
I'm going to learn to be a good teacher.
I will learn enough Thai to communicate.
I will make good friends.
I will stay healthy.
Sally will be well cared for.
I'm going to have a fantastic time in Thailand.

So... there goes.... no more panic, no more terror, no more worrying. Whatever happens, I can deal with it, I can learn from it, and I can grow from it.

"Does that bother you?"

I just got back from getting my travel vaccinations (oowie btw)... which was a really strange experience. First off the nurse described the various health risks for the areas where I'll be traveling (mosquito borne infections & diseases spread by poor sanitation mostly) and which vaccinations were recommended. Hepatitis A & B were an easy "yes" so was Typhoid, the risks are real, the vaccines effective and affordable. Rabies and Japanese Encephalitis were tougher calls. On the one hand, I'll be near high-risk areas for both, on the other hand the vaccines are REALLY expensive. For J.E. I would need a series of 3 shots at $125 each... and they come with a risk of severe allergic reaction for people like me who have allergies. I declined. I also declined the rabies vaccination. I've heard that there are a ton of stray dogs in Thailand and you can't tell an infected dog from an uninfected one, but at least with Rabies - if I can get to a hospital within 24 hours, I should be okay. Of course if I can't get to a hospital - I'll die. Hmmm... I intend to stay far away from any dogs I see there! And maybe I'll look for a clinic in Chiang Mai when I get there - if they've got the same vaccinations for cheaper, I'll get them. It's so strange to be making potentially life & death decisions based largely on cost and blind hope.

We talked a fair amount about "dysentery" and how to tell between what to treat with Immodium AD and what to treat with antibiotics. Considering how sick I got from eating unpasteurized cheese in France, I had her write me a prescription for the antibiotics!

Anyway the weirdest part was talking to the nurse about my plans. I told her where I was going and that I planned to stay for at least a year. Then she asked me "Are you going alone?" and I said "Yup!" and then she asked "Does that bother you?" I had to think for a minute. I mean, that's not the kind of question I was expecting - especially after our lengthy discussion of diarrhea. So I just said "Well, I'm on my own here... and I'll be on my own there, I don't really see the difference."

While I would love to have a companion to go with me... I don't have one...and that's not likely to change any time soon. I decided a while ago that I wasn't going to put off doing the things I wanted to do just because I didn't have someone to do them with me. I also decided, more recently, that I wasn't going to spend any more of my time or energy "looking for someone." But rather I was going to focus on living the kind of life I want to have regardless of who's along for the ride. And if, some day, there ends up being someone right next to me enjoying life with me - well then that's fantastic. But if it doesn't happen, I don't see the point in letting that 'bother me'.

Tangentially - this is why I've totally gotten into the new Doctor Who (well that plus David Tennant is one hot little Scot!). The Doctor travels through time & space, people come and people go, and he just keeps on traveling. C'est la vie, allons-y!

SCRAP

I'm slowly but surely going through all my stuff deciding what to keep, what to store, and what to give away. Today was the yarn stash. I made some decent progress.

I've got a big pile of yarn I need to give away:

A small pile of yarn I'm going to store:

And only a tiny bit to take with me.:
Hmmm.... looking at the ratio of keep to give away is making me sad. But it's just yarn (I know I know) and I can get more when I come back. Still... I might need to move a little of the Lambs Pride into the 'store' pile.


I also organized all my partial skeins, feltable wool, washable wool, cotton, and 'other'. I was thinking about giving them to the Goodwill, but then I remembered there was a place in Portland where they recycle craft stuff. I actually couldn't find the one I was thinking of (off Sandy Blvd - named cat-something, kitty-something?), but I did find SCRAP, the School & Community Resource Action Project. I just went and dropped off a big bag of yarny bits, and OMG - if I weren't leaving the country, that would be my new favorite store.

It's small and a bit rough around the edges, but it is packed to the gills with potential craft projects - for cheap! There were maps of Portland 2 for a quarter (would make awesome wrapping paper... or wall paper!), boxes of teacher chalk, markers, paints, magazines (decoupage-o-rama!), wrapping paper, ribbon, trims, yarn & fabric - also officey type stuff like paperclips, index cards, folders etc. TONS of stuff... for CHEAP! Now I know most of the people who read my little blog probably already have well established stashes - at least for their craft of choice, but if you ever wanted to cross-craft or just play - this would be the place to get some inspiration. If you're in the Portland area you should check them out - they're in North Portland on the Williams Rd. near Failing. If you're not in the Portland area - you should see if there's something similar where you are.

The Longest Mile

I've been plugging along getting ready for Thailand. Yesterday afternoon, I faxed the authorization form to pay my course fees. This morning I got up and did a little phone & internet work. I bought my ticket to Thailand, made an appointment to get my vaccinations, ordered the recommended pre-course books, and called my bank. Actually, this is funny. I was going to call my bank to make sure I could use my ATM card in Thailand (I found out the hard way that it didn't work in England!) and to see if I could/should add my sister to my account so she could take care of bills while I was gone. But at spot-on 9am, my phone rang and it was the fraud protection department of my bank notifying me of some "unusual charges" I was like "You mean a $1,600 charge from Thailand?" and of course - that was it. So they put a note in my file that I was traveling.

After doing a few things from home I went and got some MORE passport-type pictures (these are slightly, only just slightly, better than the first ones) - this time for my Visa application. Instead of going home, I hoped on the freeway going east. I thought I'd spend some time oooohing and aaaahhing at the fabric store. But I talked myself out of that since, well there's no way for me to bring all my existing fabric to Thailand, there's no reason to torture myself looking at fabric.

ANYWAY since I was already heading east, I decided to go out to Multnomah Falls.... one of the most beautiful places in Oregon.
There are a bunch of hiking trails, but despite visiting several times, I've never hiked much farther than the bridge. There's a sign right near where this picture was taken listing the heights of the waterfalls, the top one is about 600 ft. high, and the trail is only 1 mile. Just a mile to the very top.... it seems like it should be easy. Even though I wasn't exactly prepared for it (no water, wearing flats not sneakers) I decided to give it a go. I mean, I know I'm out of shape... I'm overweight and I have a bad knee that's kept me from doing much hiking the past several years. But it's just a mile, and the day I can't hike a mile is the day I need someone to shoot me!

So I start out, and it's not good. By the time I get to the bridge - only .2 of a mile, my calves were burning... not just like working hard, but like "Good God what are you doing to me??" hurting. Nevertheless I figured I was already a fifth of the way there, and it's ONLY a mile so I kept going. Oh My Lord! That was a STEEP mile. After hiking switch-back after switch-back I finally made it to a view point with a bench. I plopped my aching legs down and rested for a bit.

Two women and a couple kids showed up a minute behind me, one woman crashed onto the bench panting and said "Whoooo! That is INTENSE!" to which her all to chipper buddy replies "You're the one who wanted to go on a hike!" For some unknown reason I figured the bench was at the half-way point... but that was clearly not the case. I kept hiking and hiking, legs burning and resting every 10 yards or so. I know it's not possible, but it felt like it was a constant 45 degree angle. What I couldn't believe were the people coming back down - old ladies, moms carrying babies, and even a few couples with strollers! My only comfort was the people who passed me on the way up who seemed to be in as much agony as I was. One dad talking to his kids said "Man - who made this hill so tall?" and a couple of frat boys (beer in hand mind you) complained about the steepness too. It would have been amusing had I not been in physical pain and emotional turmoil. I let a few F-bombs drop at one point when I thought it was about to level off but around the corner it just went up up up some more. I wanted to turn back, I was sure that no matter how great the view it wouldn't be worth it. I mean, I already had a great view of the Columbia and had seen as many moss-covered trees, chipmunks, and ferns as I could stand. But I kept going... I simple could not wimp out on such a 'short' walk. I didn't check the time before I left, but I'm sure it took me an hour to walk that mile up.

When I got to the top, it was really beautiful. I sat on a rock right near the water and washed my face - the water was so icy and clear. But really all I felt was relief that the rest of the way was (mostly) all downhill. And my mood going down was dramatically better. Not only was going down much faster and less painful. But I had the joy of seeing other folks painfully slogging their way up. A couple of people asked me how much farther it was, and the first one was better than half-way there, so I tried to give her a little encouragement. "If I can make it - you can make it!" But there was one family towards the bottom - they hadn't even gotten to the bench yet- I advised to just stop at the bench view point for their picnic and call it good. Because seriously - it may just be a mile to the top, but that was the longest dang mile I've ever walked!

Rechargeable my foot!

Yesterday was the Black Sheep Gathering in Eugene. I met up with the Portland knitties for breakfast at the butt-crack of dawn and we carpooled down. M's DH (also an M now that I think of it!) drove us down so we could all knit & chat in the car. I wore my newly finished Montego Bay - which was fitting since I started it on the trip down last year. And in a complete cycle of knitting - one of the other gals cast on for Montego Bay on the way home with some yarn she picked up there.

It was a lot of fun, lots of yarn, lots of sheep (noisy noisy sheep), and some very cute alpacas. Unfortunately, I have no photographic evidence of the fun because my rechargeable batteries are no longer recharging. I keep taking my camera out and trying to get pictures... but I only get about one good one before the batteries die. I made sure to charge them all night before Black Sheep, and while it had enough power to turn on, it refused to actually take any pictures. I want to do my part to save the planet, but dude! Hold a charge!

Now I'm home with batteries but no one to take my picture,...Montego Bay (pattern by Amy Singer - Interweave Knits Summer 2007)

Yarn: Art Yarns Regal Silk, about 2 skeins.
Modifications: I didn't do the fringe, the scarf is quite long as is.
Comments: It's an easy pattern, but I still managed to make quite a few mistakes by not paying attention. I had it down pat by the last foot or so, though. =P

And here is my current knitting WIP, Soleil. I had set it aside back in October and only picked it up again a few weeks ago. I really hope to finish it up before I go to Thailand.

In theory I should be able to get it done, but I've got a lot of work to do in the next month & a half... and I've been far less productive than I thought I'd be. It seems my batteries don't hold much of a charge either.

$23 well spent!

Yesterday I had my phone interview with the CELTA program in Thailand (who knew it would cost that much???). I've been accepted to the program!! I guess there wasn't much of a chance that I wouldn't get accepted, but still... it's good to have that part done. I still need to actually pay for the course... then there's the pre-course assignment, and all the recommended reading. It's just one more step in the path to "This is really happening!"

Of course, now that I've been accepted into the Thailand CELTA , I just got a call to interview for the CELTA program in San Francisco. I applied to that one like three weeks ago and they never got back to me.... in fact when I called to ask when I would hear from them about the interview they just gave me a non-answer. So it's funny how things work out.

You know, I had all these plans for how I was going to spend my time unemployed. I really tried to get into the mindset of "New Rebel" vs. "Old Rebel". But so far the only difference is that New Rebel makes the bed in the morning. New Rebel has also become a major night-owl. I've been staying up until around 2pm or later... which was unheard of when I was employed. My bedtime should be closer to 11pm.... or at the latest midnight. It's not that I'm actually doing anything, I just watch TV until midnight, then take my time getting ready for bed, and then I pick up a book. Part of me feels that this is a real problem... you know since it means I don't actually get up and out of the house until the next afternoon. But then, Thailand's time zone is about 14 hours ahead, so I guess it couldn't hurt to start resetting my internal clock.

Not to much else going on right now. I'm working on some crafty projects right now... but nothing I can photograph right now.

Solar Panels Charged and Ready

Ahhhhhh... now that's a beautiful sight!


The sun came out Thursday afternoon, so on Friday I went to the Portland Japanese Garden. I'd never been, and it was really relaxing. I didn't get any good pictures, too busy actually enjoying everything. Then I walked down to the rose garden which was another treat - the air was filled with their fragrance. Mmmmmmm. I just plopped down and soaked up the rays... and the roses for a while.

I feel human again!

Hair Trauma & Unemployement

(No I didn't cut it... but probably should)

So it's been a solid week that I've been officially unemployed. It's been weird. On Wednesday after my going-away party I went bowling... then stayed up until 2am... and proceeded to sleep in until 2 PM. I woke up in time to shower, get dressed & go to knitting night... then stayed up late again (getting caught up on Battlestar Gallactica), got up late again and went directly to Happy Hour with the x-coworkers. I've actually had some activity or other planned every single day since Wednesday, and will have something planned every day until Monday. This is just bizarre. For the past month or so I've been feeling like I have no life, and all of a sudden - all kinds of stuff is going on. It's good... I've had less time to dwell on the fact that I'm unemployed. Or worse... dwell on the fact that I'm planning to move to a country where I don't speak the language to do a job I've got about zero experience doing.

I have been somewhat productive though. I finished up Thailand CELTA application #1, and got most of CELTA application #2 done. But for application #1 I needed to include a passport type photo. Ugh. I hate HATE getting my picture taken. I'm seriously the least photogenic person I know. I mean, I'm no supermodel to start with... but I almost always look worse in pictures. At least I hope I do... because my Driver's license picture makes me look like a zombie, and if I really look like that... good lord, how can you people stand to be around me??

One thing that always trips me up is my hair. Like many women I have a love-hate relationship with my hair. I mostly like it.... it's the only thing I ever get even remotely vain about. It's healthy, right now it's at a good length, it's pretty curly, and 99% not grey (although they're coming!). My hair looks best when I condition it, comb it, pin it up and let it be. If I don't touch my hair and just let it air dry before letting it down, it gets wavy but not too frizzy - like this...

(This was my trolling for boys on the interwebs picture from last summer)

So today I went to get a professional picture taken so I could have half a chance of looking good on my resume. I showered, got dressed, put on make up (!), and then all I had to do was not futz with my hair until it was dry. But with you know it's Oregon, so that could take decades. I hung out at home for a while, and didn't futz. Then I went to the mall, to shop for a while basically killing time until my hair dried. I tried not to futz but I couldn't resist. My hair was still damp and I kept walking past mirrors. I'd finger comb this part, and untangle that part, unpin, repin... all kinds of nonsense, and each time I did something it just got worse. Then I went to the bathroom and combed it all out. I thought seriously about going home and trying again tomorrow, but I really wanted to finish up my application. I seriously considered dropping into a salon to get it styled but in a rare display of fiscal responsibility I resisted. I don't even want to show you what it looks like but in the interest of full-disclosure...

No curl... no wave, plenty of frizz, and um... triangular in a way that hair should not be. Ugh! (and if you look really closely - I've got lipstick on my teeth... great =/ )

But I console myself with the fact that I actually look like a living human being in this one. Seriously the only thing to do with my driver's license photo is take a nice sharp stake to the heart... or a shovel to the head - what is it you're supposed to do with zombies?

Brains.... brains....waaaant... eaaaaat .... braaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnsssss

NW Quilters show - lots of pictures

Today was the local guild's annual quilt show, and although it's a relatively small show, the quality of the quilts was impressive. Here are some of my favorites:A nice traditional wedding-ring quilt. I liked this one because the colors were bright and it was almost an eye-spy quilt with lots of little critters hiding in the 2" blocks. This is the kind of quilt I'd love to own.

Let Sleeping Cats Lie
This one was just cute - major 'Awwwww' factor from me. The little stitched-on kitty faces are adorable, and you've got to love the little mousies curled up with the kitties. Very cute. Good choice of fabrics for the cat fur too.

Monkeys!

I took this picture just for T-money. I mean, check out all the monkeys!!!!Who knew there were that many monkey fabrics out there?


Trick or Treat
What I loved about this one was the incredible amount of detail. The trick or treaters are carrying actual paper bags, the fireman has a shoe-lace hose, the trim & detail just put this one over the top. Plus, I love the nod to Sun Bonnet Sue. This is not the kind of quilt I would ever want to have... or to make, but I can really appreciate it on both creative and cuteness levels.

Beaded Fairy
I don't usually like beading, but this was spectacular. The black & beads really stand out against the dyed fabric... and the simplicity of the silhouette let the subtle colors of the fabric stand out. It just works.


Hawaiian style:
I love Hawaiian style quilts, the symmetry, the shapes, and the colors just get me. I especially like the reversed colors on the border.



Bugs
Ok - how can I not love this one with all the bugs... I mean, they're each so detailed.


Concentric frills:
The colors and fabrics used on this one really grabbed me, but what impressed me most was the long-arm quilting. I love the spirals and circles.



And let's hear it for the boys!

Here is M5K's Labyrinth. I love this quilt!
Something you can't quite get from this picture is the way the colors move - there are hots spots and cool spots and they all just kinda blend.
The grey blocks aren't really greys either, they're all different lightly colored tints that balance and contrast with the brighter background colors. It's really impressive.


Ben's amazing Spiderman quilt.
I love this one - I mean, it's spiderman, so what's not to love, but here's the story "I started this quilt last year when I was 8. I've wanted to sew for a long time but my grandmother finally started teaching me last year. I picked out all the fabrics and did all the sewing. I also learned how to use Jack the Ripper (and I like it!). I did all the ironing until I burned my hand so now my grandmother does that. Next I'm going to make a quilt for my little sister."

OMG - do you not love little Ben????


Now, I don't want to make a bunch of sexist generalizations, but it does seem that guys who quilt bring a different set of themes & styles to their quilting that really stand out against the more traditional & traditionally feminine patterns used in quilting. I say the quilting world could use more boy quilters. So I applaud Ben's grandma getting him hooked nice and young.

But here is my favorite quilt of the show... and a boy quilt to boot!

Neo Gothic:
Yet another quilt that is just impossible to do justice to in pictures. It is *very* three-dimensional. The gargoyles in particular stand out quite a bit.

I'm not sure what techniques were used for the stained glass sections. I can't tell if it's pieced or painted. And I can't tell if the stitching between the panes is a trim or a machine stitch. However it was done, it was just amazing (and huge!).


You can see a bit more of the stained glass sections here... as well as more detail on the gargoyles. I was seriously impressed. To be completely honest I kept checking to see if I could find cheats. I mean, this is soooooo good I couldn't believe it was all for real... but the proof is in the quilting... like all the stipple quilting around the gargoyles. Really amazing. I might go back again tomorrow just to see this one again.

So Long & Thanks for All the Fish

That's what I should have said anyway.

Today was my last day at work, and of course there was a party. Actually there were two parties a small get together with the office staff and then a big one with the whole department. The little party was nice... I had thought about something nice to say to each of them, and had some goodbye gifts for them - they got me a really nice messenger bag. We chatted and it was nice.

But the big party, well it was overwhelming. I very quickly got cornered... by people I didn't know very well actually. But then they called me up to the front of the room and my closest co-worker said some nice things and gave me a scrap book they'd put together, everyone contributed something... it was really touching, I totally burst into tears - I really wasn't expecting to be emotional. But the scrap book was really the best kind of gift for me. People drew pictures and wrote nice things... it really blew me away how much work had gone into it. Which was all great.

The rat is saying "You're rat-tastic!"

Except that they then expected me to say something.

It's times like that when I wish I were a better liar. Seriously I tried to come up with something nice and generic and authentic to say. I came up with "Well ... it's been interesting." I think I said I would miss people and that it was just time to move on. I managed not to say "God I hated this job." which is probably as much as I could expect for myself. And it was hard to hear people say how great I'd been when I knew how much I slacked off. I'm not good with the polite fictions.

And now it's all over. I don't think it's quite sunk in yet. Tomorrow will be a very interesting day.

Solar Power

I'm solar powered. There's no other way to explain it. The cold, grey, drizzly weather kills my motivation to do anything other than lay on the couch under a quilt with an over sized cat on my stomach. I remember a day in June, several years ago actually. I was working outside and the weather was miserable... well, not so much miserable as typical - grey, cold, damp Oregon weather. I was grumbling and complaining, I hated everything. As we were walking, the clouds parted and the sun came out, it warmed up a bit and before I knew it I was chipper again - literally skipping through the lawn singing. Solar powered I tell you.

This is perhaps the best explanation (excuse?) for why I did absolutely nothing productive this weekend. I had a big long to-do list planned out, it involved finishing up a CELTA application, studying some Thai, and cleaning out a couple of my closets. What I actually did on Saturday was spend about an hour on my application and hung out reading "Culture Shock! Thailand" on Council Crest - making the most of the 'sun breaks' and wishing I'd brought a warmer sweater. Sunday however, started out cold and rainy and never got much better. I barely made it off the couch. I knit a couple rounds on pink socks #2, and sewed borders onto a secret quilt top.

I probably spent about 10 (20? 30? one loses count) hours playing Tetris Worlds this weekend. And I still haven't beaten level 15 of Fusion Tetris... I've gotten close, but I always run out of time. Somehow I feel like if I can just beat this level, I'll be able to move on. As any addict will tell you - just one more game.

The good news is, it's supposed to get sunny... well, "partly sunny" here, so I might actually get a bit more work done. Wednesday will be my last day of work. I'm giving myself the month of June off. Well, I need to finish up my CELTA applications (at least two more after the one I'm working on), and continue reading up on Thailand, teaching, grammar etc.... but beyond that I'm not going to look for paid employment until I've gone through what I have in my checking account (well, plus my last paycheck & vacation pay). When I start dipping into my savings I'll start looking for some part time work. And when that runs out... if I'm still here... expect a plaintive knock at your door.

lots of little things

I don't know about you but it's the little things I remember, I forget names & dates & locations, but little details stick with me.

One of the things I remember most vividly from college is the door to the University Center. We were always going to the UC - to get mail, use the photocopier etc etc. The doors were heavy, ... and when it was raining or windy it was worse. Now I'm no wimp - I took weight training - but the doors were just big, heavy, and awkward – the kind of doors that want to slam back on you before you’re half way through. I remember walking to the UC, swinging open the big heavy door... then my friend - just a step behind me - reaching up and catching the door and opening it the rest of the way. You know, I can remember the feel of the door's weight releasing from my hand and then walking through the door knowing it wasn't going to whack me in the backpack as I went through. And I think how nice that was...how nice that would be now. I can open the door myself, it would just be nice to have someone there to hold it open as I schlep all my stuff through.

I'm still working... well, "working". I still have to get up get dressed and sit at my computer all day. All of my duties have been reassigned, I'm just working on cleaning out files and answering questions as they come up. While far less stressful than normal, it's boring as all get-out. The other morning my boss was joking "Oh it's your last week - how can we twist your arm and make you stay?" but then kinda back pedaled when she realized I didn't think it wasn't very funny.

At home I'm working on CELTA application #3. The error correction sections are really hard for me. I know instinctively that "My cousin said me that." is wrong and "My cousin told me that." is correct, but it's really hard for me to articulate *why*. And I *still* can't figure out how to explain the difference between "slim" and "thin". Every time I think of a way to differentiate them, I think of exceptions. The "how would you teach this" section is a little easier though. Having spent a bit of time in language classes (both good and bad) I'm familiar with a few different techniques to use. I find it surprising, but reassuring, that I'm able to generate a lot of ideas on how to teach different things. I know I don't know all the techniques, and I know there's a big difference between jotting down an idea on paper, and enacting it in the classroom... but I feel like this is something I could actually learn. Whereas with the grammar questions, I don't even have the vocabulary to explain what I mean. I'm wishing more of my teachers had covered grammar. Miss Crawford made an effort Sophomore year... but it was too little too late. Clearly I have some catch-up work to do.

I've also been reading up on Thai culture, both online and in a couple of books. My sister belongs to an online book-swap and was able to get me a copy of the now out of print book "Culture Shock! Thailand" which comes highly recommended. Unfortunately the version I have is from 1982 (the most recent update was in 2003 or 2005 I think). Since I actually remember being alive in 1982 it doesn't seem that long ago, but it really really was. I can't get over the highly sexist nature of the book. And I'm not talking about how women are expected to behave in Thialand (I assume at least some of this has changed), but the way the author gives general advice and then gives asides for the appropriate behavior of "your wife." Um.... yeah... I guess women didn't travel without their husbands back in the early 80s. Anyway I'm taking the entire book with a grain of salt... and I have a much more recent copy of "Culture Smart Thailand" for perspective, and little guide book for more specific information about transportation, prices, and things to see. At the moment though, my reading stack is a bit overwhelming.

This whole thing is overwhelming in fact...all the little things add up- getting a visa, shots, copies of my transcript, what to do with my stuff, what to do with Sally, how much money I'm going to need, actually getting accepted into a program, learning some of the language, etc. etc. etc.

I haven't been crafting much... mostly because I haven't been especially inspired. I'm pretty deep in left-brain land right now. I've got a new pair of socks on the needles, but aside from the fact that I'm doing them toe up, they're going to be identical to the last pair I made.

One more week. One more week and I'll be free of this job... and hopefully that'll help me regain focus and feel less overwhelmed.

In their natural habitat

I've seen a couple of posts lately of "Quilts in their Natural Habitat" and thought I'd post mine.

Coincidentally this is also Sally's natural habitat. Although when it's sunny, she'll be on the top of the quilt watching birds.

Of course, when it's *really* sunny, Sally's natural habitat extends to the garden.

The Audacity of Rebel's Book Club

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything about the books I’ve been reading… and I have actually been reading. I don’t know how much you folks get out of reading my highly opinionated and minimally educated reviews, but I like going back and refreshing my memory on books I’ve read. I hate it when someone mentions a book I read and I can’t even remember if I liked it or not. So here goes.

The Audacity of Hope, Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream – Barack Obama

Plot: The country is broken, and it really doesn’t have to be.

Motto: Yes we can.

Opinion: The book reads like Obama’s manifesto, and is very clearly a campaign tool, but nonetheless it is a very interesting read about the challenges facing America and the ways in which we can approach them as a country, rather than as opposite sides of a political battle.

I read this one back in March I think. Unfortunately, I've now waited entirely too long to write up this review and I can’t remember enough specifics about it to go into any detail. But I will tell you this- I get bored really easily when talking about government & politics ... but when I read this book I was engaged, and I intend to read it again so I can more fully understand some of his points. Obama is a very good author, his style is clear and focused without over-simplifying anything...I'm putting Dreams from my Father on my 'to read' list too, regardless of how the election turns out.

Sense & Sensibility – Jane Austin

Plot: Girls get the boys, girls lose the boys, girls get get the boys!

Motto: Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters…

Opinion: I liked it, but I liked the movie better.

It took a while for me to get into reading Austin’s style of writing, some of her turns of phrase are just not used any more. Having seen the movie (with Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet) helped me follow the plot a lot better than I might have otherwise. But on the other hand, having seen the movie SEVERAL times, I couldn’t read the dialogues without hearing Thompson or Winslet’s voice.

There’s a reason this is a classic though. Austin develops her characters so fully, and you can really see the change in Marianne and Elinor as the story progresses. Both of the Miss Dashwoods have their flaws as well as graces. I appreciated seeing glimpses of Elinor’s selfish and emotional sides in light of her mature, responsible exterior. Also, in the book Willoughby is much more of a scoundrel, although he does get a chance to explain himself.

I really enjoyed the book, but I probably would not have liked it as well as I did if I had not seen the movie first. The movie is so well acted, with certain exchanges emphasised so much by tone of voice and significant glances. So my recommendation is that if you’ve seen the movie, read the book. If you’ve read the book first however, they’ve chopped a good bit out for the movie… so I’m not sure the recommendation would go both ways.

A Walk in the Woods – Bill Bryson

Plot: Two out of shape, middle aged men attempt to walk the Appalachian Trail.

Motto: Are we there yet?

Opinion: This is the second Bill Bryson book I’ve read, and I really like his style. He’s funny, factual, thoughtful, and tends to use a chatty style of writing that pulls the reader into the story.

Bryson starts out his adventure with lots of intellectual and material preparation, sharing with the reader a bit of history about the 2,100 mile stretch of trail running from Georgia to Maine. His college buddy Katz is somewhat less prepared. Although they do not walk the entire trail, they get a good feel for what life is like on the trail. There are lots of trees, for example, lots and lots and lots and lots of trees. And there are people along the trail, helpful kind people, and of course unusual and annoying people as well. Bryson does an awesome job of describing the people so colorfully that you can just about see them walking along the trail. You can also just about hear the sound of bears sneaking around somewhere out there on the trail with him!

The book takes a few somber turns when talking about the environmental degradation that has taken place along the Appalachians, and the state of the Parks Services tasked with taking care of the trail. But he’s not out to make a statement about it. If he has a statement at all, it’s that the reader should spend some time out exploring the natural world around them. Advice I intend to follow this summer after I stop working.

I’d recommend this book as a good vacation read, or a getting ready for vacation read. It’s not too heavy, but not pure fluff either, and parts are genuinely funny. I’ll be putting his other books on my ‘to read’ list ... but I’m in no hurry.

Teach Like Your Hair’s On Fire – Rafe Esquith

Plot: Hardworking, self sacrificing teacher brings out the best in his poor, mostly immigrant students.

Motto: High expectations + lots of work = lifelong success.

Opinion: This is a very inspirational and impressive story. But rather than making me feel hopeful about what kids can accomplish, it made me feel sad that he had to give so very much of himself to make a difference. It also makes me a little sad that I didn’t have a teacher like him when I was in school. Not that I’m bashing my education, I had a lot of really good teachers, it’s just that I got the impression, while reading this book, that so much more is possible. Like… this is the man who could have taught me math!!

Esquith is clearly a man on a mission. He is passionate about upholding high standards for both himself and his students. He teaches academic subjects (not just science, math & reading, but also art, music, athletics, and theater) as well as life skills. And the whole time he is swimming against the stream of standardized testing, ineffective school administration, and ongoing cuts in funding.

The book starts out by describing Kohlberg's Six Stages of Moral Development.

He challenges his students to be level six thinkers. I have to admit, I spend a lot of time in levels 1 (what's in it for me) and 4 (rules are rules) right now… and if nothing else, am glad I read this book so I can start incorporating, or attempting to incorporate, more level six thinking in my life.

I highly recommend this book to teachers and parents. It’s unrealistic to expect other teachers to perform the kind of magic in their classrooms that Esquith does (I don’t want to diminish the amount of effort he puts into his classroom, but really, the man has a gift) but he presents some very practical ideas that could be used by anyone.

So those are the books I've most recently read. I'm currently diving into some books about Thailand and teaching abroad, in fact I'm on the last few pages of The Bangkok Survivor's Handbook. I should probably write up a review of that one before I start in on the next book. Any good recommendations for me?

Thank you!

It just occured to me that I neglected to thank you all for your support through my whole canceled course / job quitting saga. Your comments and good wishes mean a lot to me, all the more so since some of you have never even met me! Thank you!

I think too much

I think waaaaaay too much.

So today it’s time to just endulge my senses. Dude… that sounds retarded. Ok… what I’m actually doing is my very favorite thing – hanging out downtown. At the moment I’m laying on the grass in the Park Blocks enjoying the dapled sunshine filtering through a stand of full-on leafed-out trees. It’s really awesome. I mean… take a pretty cool city full of people who love their community, and the outdoors, make ‘em suffer through one of the coldest springs in recent memory (Snow in March! Freezing temperatures through April! Then back to our regularly scheduled rainy, cloudy, dreary May.) and reward them with one absolutely glorious sunny hot Saturday. EVERYONE is out here. Half the women are in sun-dresses, Teva sandals as far as they eye can see. Oh… and acres of pasty white flesh begging for just a hint of warmth and color. It’s really a beautiful thing.

Oh... and it really wouldn't be Portland without barefoot hippies singing old-timey music.

There are draw backs to the heat of course. I actually heard myself say, "Hmmm... it's too hot for cheese." as I passed by Juniper Grove Farms booth. And made a bee-line for the Pine State Biscuits booth for some sweet iced tea. Mmmmm…. I’m gonna miss this.

Just when I thought I was out...

they pull me back in.

Ok... Mae West reportedly stated that she could resist anything but temptation. Here at Chez Rebel, I can resist anything except a well reasoned, fiscally responsible, slightly maternal appeal to my ISTJ side. Ugh.

So I handed in my notice on Thursday, my last day would be May 21st. It's true that the final act of writing up my letter of resignation was done in haste and without a real plan as to how I would move on... but it was not a rash decision. I've been wanting out of this job for a long time, and I've been trying to get out for a long time - a LOOOONG time. I don't know why it takes me so long to do things. Some people just pick up and go. I was going through an old notebook and found some career-brainstorming I'd done back in October of 2006 and jotted right there on the page were the words "Teach English Abroad." WHY AM I STILL HERE??? Because I took it slow trying to figure out the best way to do that... trying pay down debt and save up vacation time, then trying to save up a little more money and a little more vacation time, then you know... getting the rug pulled out from under me with this stupid non-existing class. So with one thing and another two months here, two months there...one stressful work deadline flowing into the next stressful work deadline ... October 2006 turns into May 2008 and I'm fed up, farther past my breaking point than I knew existed, and I give my 2 weeks notice. Finally!! Counting down the days... the hours, I am.

My boss called me into her office on Monday to 'chat'.
How are you feeling about your decision?
- Fine... it's time for me to go. (In truth, I'm terrified, I have no idea what I'm doing, I don't think I have enough money, I'm scared that as soon as my health insurance runs out I'm going to get cancer but I'm even more afraid that if I don't get out of here now I don't think I'm ever going to get out.)

Then the big boss called me into his office to 'chat'.
So what are you planning on doing?
- I need to get focused on leaving, I need to start learning the language and getting myself ready to leave the country. (Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do... I hope to god I can get a part time job to cover at least some of my expenses so that I still have my savings to pay for the course I want to take and yet allow me enough mental breathing space to actually prepare for the course & my eventual, hopeful move abroad.)

Is there anything you want to tell me about the office before you leave?
-No... there have been good points and bad, but it's time for me to move on. (I think half the Ph.D.s in the office are overpaid spoiled brats who have absolutely no perspective on life beyond their research and barely see me as a human being let alone an intelligent person with a life outside the office and dreams beyond continuing devoted service to their projects.)


So today, I am just barely hanging on... inside I'm freaking out at near maximum, equally scared to leave and scared not to leave, but putting on the calm face and bravely voicing my ambitions for my future. But it's just one.more.week. Get through tomorrow and Friday, then it's the weekend, then two days of last minute details and a last day of good byes. I can almost handle this.... I can almost make it.


My boss called me into her office again this afternoon.

So what are your plans?
-I'm going to start getting focused on leaving, I'll be having lunch with a woman from Thailand tomorrow, and I've emailed an acquaintance who's living there now. I'm starting to try to learn the language, and I'm going to do some prep work for the course I want to take. I'll probably pick up a part time, low-stress job for a while, but first I need to take a break.

Have you thought about a position here in another department?
-No... I really need to break away, it's a little too comfortable here... I really need a break so I can focus my energies on what I really want to be doing - I don't think I can do that here. The cocoon is too small.. time to move on.

You know, if you work part time you can get full benefits here.
-I'm not really worried about that... I just want to make a clean break. (I'm terrified of losing my benefits - but I really really really need to get out.)

I know you've made your decision and you're ready to go, but if you decide to get another job here within 30 days you can get reinstated with your sick leave, your benefits, and your retirement level.
-I'll think about it... but I'm just ready to go.(Stop tempting me with all the things that have made me stay at this job 3 years too long!)

I know, I sound just like my dad when I was your age, telling me that health insurance is so important, but if you stayed just two extra weeks, you would be covered for all of June. I'm sure that would reduce some of your stress.
-I appreciate it, really I do. But that's not the biggest source of my stress. (But it's mighty tempting... one extra paycheck could make a big difference... plus an extra half-day of vacation pay out on top of it... and an extra month of insurance could mean one more check-up with a doctor who speaks fluent English....)

Well, think about it, it would only be until June 4.
-I'll think about it. (there's an extra paid holiday in there too isn't there?)



ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want out... I just want to not work there anymore. But the reality is I don't think I'll have enough money to support myself until such time as I'm employed in the job I really want. I know no temp job or part time job will pay half as well as what I'm currently getting paid. And an extra month of insurance for just a few extra days of work... that'll save me the cost of individual coverage for a month. Plus I can save face by saying my boss begged me to stay on longer.


I can change the end date on your termination paperwork to June 4th really easily.
-You realize that's the next big stressful deadline.

I really wasn't thinking about that at all.
-But I was... and that's the problem.

I quit

I did it, I quit my job. I quit the job I've hated for a few years now, the job that's been driving me absolutely insane with stress for the past year. I did it. After a spectacular mental breakdown in my office on Wednesday I went home - ignored everyone who was trying to call me and wrote up my letter of resignation. I handed it in the next morning.

I'm not usually that rash (seriously, I've been patiently waiting to get into a CELTA course since November), and my boss wanted to talk about options, offered to hold on to my letter until I thought it through etc. But I was done. I really didn't think there was any way I could stay. In fact, on Thursday I made the mistake of reading my work email at home and got a message that threw me into a complete rage. That's the thing about reaching your limit - it doesn't take much to make it all spill out. So it's done, as of May 21st, I'll be unemployed.







Um.... now what do I do?



Well, naturally I jumped right into another craft project.

Inspired by the woods near my apartment I've been wanting to do this for a while.Actually, I'm even more inspired by the long-view of the tree covered hill as I drive up to it from other parts of town... but I can never get a good shot of it. The way the trees line up against each other as they go up the hill make up a patchwork of green.

These fabrics convey the general feel I'm going for, lots of trees and rain. I had hoped to finish it in time for M5K's decathlon... but that was much to ambitious for my current state of mind. I have actually made a lot of progress on it... but still dont' want to post it here, because I'm not sure if it'll end up being a gift or not.

I've accumulated a LOT of fabric for this project, and so far what I have is most of a small quilt top... perfect for a baby quilt. I kinda want a larger quilt for myself... so I can either make the quilt in progress bigger, or finish it and start a second quilt for myself. I haven't made any decisions yet... too busy making rash, risky, emotionally driven decisions about my career.

Oh lordy... what have I done???

Updates

A few little updates. I've been looking at other places to get certified to teach ESL, and have found some new options... although these options all cost a lot more and won't take place for a few more months. Not ideal... but I've got options. I actually spoke with someone at one of the programs and had a very reassuring conversation about the course.

On the crafty side, I'm working on a new project for the M5K Decathlon 2008. I'm not sure if I'll get it done by the deadline... but I'm gonna give it a go. It'll be one of those annoying top secret projects that I talk a lot about but won't post.

To make up for that though, here's a kitty in the sunshine.
How much do you want to nom nom nom that paw!!!

Broken Dishes

I've just finished my Trash to Treasure quilt - Broken Dishes. It turned out exactly as I had intended. I used all free fabrics, most of the fabrics were delivered to me in a trash bag (two of the black florals including the outside border is from my mom's stash). The binding is all leftover pieces from other quilts. I had hoped to use leftover batting as well, but I didn't have quite enough.

Here's the finished top:And here's a picture of the quilt that inspired me in the first place (stolen from the internet):
I think I hit it right on the mark.

This quilt was the first time I used meander quilting for a whole project, and this represents the closest stitching I've ever done on a quilt (I'm usually pretty lazy about the actual quilting part).
The stitching does indeed meander, and there's only one place (maybe two) where I stitched myself into a corner & had to cross over the line to get back into free space. More practice is definitely called for - but I did okay.

I managed to do a small label that's legible if plain.

All told, this little scrap quilt is perfect for laying out on the ground in the sun.


At least Sally thinks so!

Scrappy Caturday

Once again, Sally is helping me out with my quilting.

I've actually made a lot of progress on the Trash to Treasure quilt, and am really pleased with how it looks so far. It's got it's pros and cons, but it's the most successful thing going on in my life right now... and that counts for something!

Loopy

Well, for the last few days I've been out of sorts to say the least. But I've sorted some things out, there is a CELTA course offered in San Francisco, where, conveniently, a former roommate now lives. I'm looking into the program and have already requested additional information. I also spent a good long time at Powells books yesterday and picked up a couple books:

Getting Out: Your guide to Leaving America - Mark Ehrman
Teach Like Your Hair's on Fire - Rafe Esquith
Ganbatte Means Go For It!: or How to Become an English Teacher in Japan - Celeste Heiter
Adventure Divas: Searching the Globe for Women who are Changing the World - Holly Morris


The book about teaching in Japan is a little too Japan specific, but it does bring up some things I'll need to think about... and there were surprisingly few books about teaching abroad, but maybe I wasn't looking in the right area. Getting Out has really good information about the paperwork involved in moving abroad, and overviews of the most popular countries for ex-pats. There are a lot of personal accounts from people who are living abroad. If nothing else, these should keep me inspired until the next opportunity to get certified comes up.


Ok... but to the title of the post. I took three days off work getting my head together (as much as possible) and mostly taking a breather from work. I spent a lot of yesterday working on the trash to treasure quilt. I decided to use this as an opportunity to practice meander quilting, and things were going really well...for the first few rows. It got more challenging towards the middle of the quilt (yes I know I'm supposed to start from the outside in - sue me!). Anyway It went well for the first spool of thread, but when I ran out & refilled the bobbin & spool - it went all wonky in the back. Of course it looked fine on the top, so I didn't notice until I ran out of thread from the second spool and went to change the bobbin again.


I wasted an ENTIRE spool making this mess. Obviously I can buy more thread - but it took me a good hour or more to pick out all the stitches. Dang.

So with the quilt misbehaving, I decided to go back to work. ;)