Ok... big deep breath, and exhale aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I didn't sleep well last night, too keyed up to sleep. When I did fall asleep, I had a fairly intense anxiety dream (of which I can remember nothing). But I woke up and stayed in bed a good long time. And it slowly began to occur to me that I didn't need to go to work today....and I don't need to go to work tomorrow. It's been a while since I've woken up knowing that I had two whole days with no obligations. Well, I did have an obligation to pack & get moved out by Friday. But then I thought "Why? Why am I creating more stress for myself?" All I really want to do today is hang out at Starbucks all morning, then maybe watch some DVDs while I slowly pack & repack my stuff. So I went downstairs and 'talked' to my landlady and told her I'd rather move out on Saturday. No problem! The sense of complete freedom is slowly but surely replacing the sense of anxiety. I think I'm going to be okay now.
And I've come up with the next step in my travel plans. There's a guest-house in Ban Phe that's part of the restaurant I like to go to on Sundays. It's cheap, familiar, there's a bookstore next to the restaurant, and there's a view of the ocean from their rooftop garden. This is the ideal spot for me to decompress for a bit before going into adventure mode. It'll also give me a chance to make sure I've packed everything that I need and nothing I don't. I'll be leaving the bulk of my stuff at the head teacher's place..... including my computer.
It was a tough call - I genuinely love my computer and I'm finally getting over feeling guilty about that. So I will bring it along to Ban Phe, spend some time organizing the photos I have accumulated and scouting out guest houses. But then I'll drop it back off with the rest of my stuff before I go to Bangkok and on to parts unknown.
Speaking of parts-unknown, I'm officially dubbing the next six weeks Rebel's Moderately Magical Mystery Tour. I'm going to take it easy. I'll plan each section step by step as opposed to trying to get it all sorted out in advance. This is radical people!!! But I will plan - I won't leave city #1 unless I have reservations for a place to stay at city #2.
You can count on me to spend copious amounts of time at various internet cafes, so I don't plan on going dark for any lenght of time... but pictures might be a bit scarce.
So that's that. I'm feeling a LOT better than I did last night. =) Still not sure how I'm going to cram appropriate clothing for a trip through three countries over the course of six weeks into a backpack and an overnight bag... but we'll see.
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