Sunday, August 17, 2008

Now this should be an Olympic event...

Synchronized leg waxing that is. There’s also a team event… who knew?

Okay, anyone who doesn’t want to hear about the intimate details of my leg hair can stop reading now and move on… but this was my first professional leg waxing so I wanted to report on it for posterity. Like most American women I've had the whole wax-all-over-the-bathroom attempt at waxing, but I’ve never had more than my eyebrows waxed at a salon so I really didn’t know what to expect.

I do know that I hate shaving and, benefit of being solo, at different points in my life I’ve gone months and months and *months* without shaving my legs. I actually like the way my legs feel all furry, but this is Thailand, I’m supposed to be wearing a skirt & looking professional, so I figured I’d have to start shaving. I did just that about a month ago, shaved off all my luxurious leg hair and had smooth beautiful legs for exactly one day. The next day I had stubble, and the next day I tried to shave again, cut my legs all to pieces, had major irritation, and by day four I was developing ingrown hairs. LOVELY!

When I got here I noticed that there are salons EVERYWHERE and waxing (and every other service) is significantly cheaper than in the US – about $15 for a half-leg wax (we’re not even going to talk about what some women have subjected themselves to – I’m only willing to submit to torture from the knee down!). So I finally went today, and I swear I have never in my life had so many people pay so much attention to my legs.

First the proprietress of the shop comes up and I tell her I need to have my legs waxed, doing a little demo so she understands I only want from the knees down. She bends down and pats my legs down… nice and scruffy! OK!

So she brings me into the back room and another woman comes in and asks if I want hot wax or cold wax, and rubs my legs to confirm where I’m getting waxed. I’m not at all familiar with cold wax so I asked for hot. When I’ve had my eyebrows done it’s always a nice soothing warm feeling – just enough to lull you into a very false & very temporary sense of comfort followed by a brief but near blinding pain… dulling to a bit of a trob for a few minutes – then … pretty pretty eyebrows for a week. =) But then that girl leaves and two more girls come in. For a moment I was relieved because one of the girls was a bit chubby and I always feel more comfortable when with my kind. (she was still way thinner than I… but you know, better than the other girl who looked a swift wind would carry her off).

They have me lie down (“You sleep, okay?” was the instruction) and each take a leg and have their turn groping. First comes the wax oooh… nice & warm) then they simultaneously rip off 8 layers of my skin. Now… for those of you who saw The 40 Year Old Virgin… this is what I have to say. Yes the chest is a more sensitive area than the legs – but Steve Carrell is a big wuss. It hurts, but it’s nothing to scream about. And off they go, wax, pat down the strip (at times far more vigorously than I would have prefered), pull. There sychronization went off pretty quickly (low marks girls!) and soon I was trying to twist one leg one way and the other in the opposite direction all while trying to remain as dignified as possible given the situation.

The thing is… I’m guessing that my leg hair – while long enough to frighten small children, was not long enough to be getting waxed. It took a VERY long time and involved a LOT of wax and going over the same area much more than once. The chubby gal became significantly more vigorous in her patting down the wax strips and was fairly punching me at some point. I think she was still in training though because then ANOTHER woman comes in and joins in the fun – so now it’s a team event! At different points during the event the proprietress and the first girl also peak their heads in on me again. In addition to my leg hair being probably shorter than it should have been, they were having issues with the wax-roller thing and had to use the little wooden spatula type things to spread the wax. Oh lord… I started to get more than a little embarrassed that my leg hair required a group effort and it just took forever.

Finally, finally it was over… underneath all the fuzz I apparently still had some slightly ingrown hairs that they couldn’t get to (try as they might!), but I was at least smooth enough for a classroom setting. But now my legs are all red & I think I’m even working on a couple bruises from their "enthusiasm". Such is the price we pay for beauty right?

I think I’m going to go back to the Sasquash look, I’ll tell all the student’s its the new trend in America. =P


Michael5000 said...

When I was in junior high, I heard that if you shave away hair, it grows back thicker. Being of a emperical bent, I selected a small area of my newly-hairy legs and shaved a little patch.

It has never grown back. I have a six by three inch hairless patch on my right shin. It's the damnedest thing.

Karin said...

That never worked for me.

I tried the same thing in junior high on my arm as a practice run. The hair grew back--not extra, just normally.

Rebel, maybe the next time it wouldn't be so strenuous.

Magatha said...

Wow Reb! You are a brave brave woman.

I know someone who had all their pubic hair lasered off. If you're not familiar, lasering translates to 'burning'. ;-)

Pretty soon your legs will be so tanned that the hairs won't be that visible.