Inspired (as usual) by Michael5000's antics, I decided to give you all a rundown on how *I* spent my Sunday. And to be fair I'll start it at around midnight.
12:01 - 12:20am I'm at a bar - sitting at an outside table, waiting for a boy to show up. MUCH whiskey (and beer, and vodka) has been consumed. Most of my friends have left, LeBlond, Bunny and I are the last ones standing. There's a table of Korean engineers and their Thai friends/girlfriends right next to us and we start chatting with them. The drunkest of the Korean guys comes over and starts hitting on LeBlond. Our waitress is a katoey. We discuss, in limited English, the fact that homosexuality is not culturally acceptable in Korea. To LeBlond's dismay I inform the Korean guy that he's no longer in Korea, he's in Thailand, so mai bpen lai!
An elaborate plan is covertly hatched (ie in English) that LeBlond and I will switch seats. I walk over to his side of the table. But instead, he takes my hand and we start dancing in the parking lot. The Korean guy grabs Bunny to dance with her (I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this, but Bunny is a lesbian). After a few minutes of this, the Korean guy edges over like he wants to dance with LeBlond... I run interference and dance with him for a while, Bunny & LeBlond dance for a minute then sit down. After another minute or two I deposit the Korean man back at his table, where his friends start appologizing. I'm like "Mai bpen lai" I mean, I'm pretty shit-faced myself.
Sitting back down at the table, I begin to doubt whether boy will ever show up so we pay the bill, finish up the whiskey and head towards the taxis. It becomes important that Bunny decide who does the best cartwheels - me or LeBlond. I was the clear winner, but suddenly become very very sad that we're going home and start crying all over Bunny.
12:20-12:25 Crying all over the back of a motorbike taxi driver on the way home. Bunny is wedged in behind me trying to make me feel better by saying the taxi driver probably gets cried on all the time.
12:25-12:30 Phone call from boy who *finally* made it to the bar. Rebel practices a few Thai swear words.
um.... 12:30 - ??? Hystrionic texting and messaging on facebook. Eventually pass out.
7:30am - wake up to the @$%ing chickens down the street crowing. Hung over... mortified by previous night's behavior. Decide that life will improve greatly with the application of western food and salt water.
8:30 am - catch songtheaw to Ban Phe
9am - attempt confess to waitress at Christie's pub, in Thai, that I'm hung over. She asks what I drank last night and I say "whiskey" she looks surprisingly judgemental given her place of employement. I order, and fully enjoy a bacon cheeseburger with fries.
9:30 am - wander through used bookstore and pick up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and the Jungle Book.
10am - ferry to Ko Samet. I get the good boat with the beach chairs on the top deck and am rocked comfortingly by the ocean and soothed by a warm breeze for the next 45 min.
11am - arrive on Ko Samet and check into my room.
11:20am - am parked in a beach chair under an umbrella and have liberally applied sunscreen to my face and neck. Swim, nap, read, swim, nap, swim, stare at the horizon, notice a smaller island that I swear wasn't there when I came in February, nap, read, swim. Decide life isn't quite so bad afterall.
1:30pm - lunch, crab fried rice... rather crunchier than I'd like, I wish they'd do a better job removing the shells. After lunch, read, nap, swim, nap, swim, read. At around 4pm watch the local kids set up a couple of soccer nets and play a game on the beach as the tide goes out.
5 pm - dinner, high hopes for a western sounding ham and cheese baguette... not horrible, but just not quite right. Watch the sun go down, feel a bit sad. Does not help that they're playing cheesy covers of depressing western ballads.
6:30pm - pop into the internet cafe to feed my addiction.
7pm - off to bed. Read, try to sleep, read, try to sleep. Think very seriously about going back to the states, actually contemplate going to live with my family in Tennessee. Miss my mommy.
9pm - much welcomed text from Bunny- call her and chat for a while.
9:30 - 10pm - read, try to sleep, read, try to sleep.
10ish - even more welcomed call from Mistress J. Feel significantly better about life the universe and everything.
11ish - finally fall asleep for reals.
TAG: Code Fish Sauce.