Vodka... the cause of and solution to all life's problems

(adapted from Homer Simpson)

Hmmm.... I feel somewhat obligated to post something. I have also been feeling somewhat obligated to increase the quality and decrease the quantity of what I post on my blog. I know I always say I keep this blog for myself... but I do care if people read and I do care if you're enjoying it or being bored to tears by it.

I have cognitive dissonance.

I have vodka.

Let's see what happens.


1. The other day I went bowling with Bunny, Bobby, Donny & Marie (Philippino brother & sister I'm not sure I've mentioned yet), and two Thai guys.... I don't know what to call them yet. How about Rod & Tod? It was so much awesome! The bowling alley is essentially identical to what you could find in any-town USA which is always comforting. The girls drank Spy wine coolers, the boys laughed at us. We practiced our Thai and I even wrote a word in Thai.... "chicken"... it was exciting. I tried to write the name of our neighboring city but made a couple of mistakes, the first I could self-correct when it was pointed out to me, the second I understood as soon as Rod wrote the correct letter. I went home a little early. When Bunny & Bobby came back they found they'd locked themselves out so we had an impromptu sleep-over in my room. We played "20 questions - Harry Potter edition" and I fell asleep laughing.

2. Last night Bunny, Bobby, Donny & Marie and I all watched Quantum of Solace and ate pizza in B&B's room. The pizza was okay, the movie sucked. I drank a lot of vodka.

3. There's a party tonight, but I didn't feel like going. Mostly I was concerned that once I got there, I wouldn't have a ride home. I hate having FOMS (fear of missing something) about the party... but even more I hate feeling trapped somewhere when I'm not having a good time.

4. Bobby, Bunny and I want to go to Chiang Mai for New Year's but just learned that all the flights and busses will probably be booked already. I'm usually good about thinking these things out in advance, but the weather here is tripping me up. It's still just about as hot & sunny as it was when I got here in August. If nothing - it's sunnier now that the rainy season is over. How can it possibly be the end of November??

5. THANKSGIVING IS COMING AND I HAVE NO ACCESS TO STUFFING!!! Or cranberry sauce, or pumpkin pie, or mashed potatoes, or pecan pie, or ...or even crudites with ranch dressing.... no ceasar salad... no cheese cake, no fresh baked rolls, no... none of it. OMG this is actually making me cry. I'm 99% okay with the no kitchen situation, but no kitchen + no American restaurants is just not fair. =( We're going to do our best at the market... but .... without stuffing, does it really count as Thanksgiving? I'm totally making my students learn about Thanksgiving in class. I may even force them to draw hand-print turkeys. Yes... even the Dirty Old Men Business English Class.

6. I'm questioning several of my moral assumptions. It's strange how much environment and culture shape what you believe is 'right'.

7. I've been drinking a lot lately.

8. Not nearly enough.

TAG - Code Pineapple, I still have a cold, it's been well over a week since I went to the beach... other than that I'm fine.

Mai koy de tow rai

(but not that well)

I don't think of myself as particularly competitive, but now that the linguistically adventurous Bunny is here, I'm feeling.... um... motivated to step up my own language acquisition pace. I have a two month head start and I don't think I could live with myself if she became more fluent than I in the six months she plans to be here. Well, I probably could live with it... but you know... the SHAME!


The problem is, when I express interest in learning some Thai to a local...I get language overload. It happened with my fruit guy up in Chiang Mai. I asked him for the word for pineapple one day, and he told me. The next day I asked for the word for mango, and he told me but then he rapid-fire started pointing at all the other fruits and giving me the names for them as well. To this day the only fruit I know how to say "pineapple".


It happened again last week, in the car with Key, I asked her the word for shirt (I'm getting a bit sick of my current wardrobe). She told me the word, but then went on to tell me the words for skirt and shoes, short sleeves, long sleeves, long skirt, short skirt, grey skirt, black skirt etc. From that exchange I only remember the word for "skirt" which wasn't even the word I was trying to learn.


The other day on the way to my off-campus class I decided to try to learn a few new words. I couldn't think of anything I particularly wanted to say so I just stuck out my hand and said "nee arai?" The driver grabbed my hand and told me the word, then grabbed my fingers counting them off - and told me the word for fingers, then up to my arm, elbow & shoulder. "Ah!! Poot cha cha!" I told him. "Speak slowly!" (I can't tell you how excited I am now that I know how to say "speak slowly" and "say again".) I went over the words he'd taught me, slowly, and he corrected my pronunciation. And then, you know I spent the next 10 min mentally repeating the words.


Recently, I've managed to pick up a pronoun and a couple verbs, so eventually it occured to me that I could probably make a sentence. I spent a good long while thinking it through, and it took a good long while longer to work up the courage to say the sentence - I feel like such a moron randomly spouting off the few Thai words I know. But eventually I told him, timidly "I have ten fingers." "Chai! Chai!" (Correct, correct) he responded excitedly. "I have two hands." I continued. "Chai. Chai." And then, having exhausted my body vocabulary we continued on in silence.


Today I learned a new word, without even trying, while having breakfast at the B&B. It has been getting colder here... 'cold' being a relative term of course. I no longer start sweating bullets the moment I walk outside my apartment building; now I can actually walk a few blocks before the sweat starts. So I was sitting there feeling quite comfortable and not disgustingly sweaty when the owner came over and said "now" wrapping her arms around herself to mime coldness. I didn't actually know that word...but she did an excellent job of conveying the meaning. So I replied "nit-noy" (a little bit) and she replied "now...adflkjer werljy" pointing at the slightly cloudy sky and rubbing her arms again. And quite unannounced an appropriate word popped into my brain "Comfortable" I replied... sort of. She corrected my pronunciation and nodded smiling "Comfortable". Now *this* woman should be a teacher!


As I sat there eating my breakfast I, as per usual, picked up my Thai phrase book and started flipping through it. Usually I just look at the words, but lacking any reason to use them they never actually stick in my brain. But emboldened by my oh so cogent "I have ten fingers." and "Comfortable" remarks, I decided to try to put together another sentence. When I got to school this morning I proudly announced to the office manager "I have two older sisters." "Chai, chai... but mai chai." (correct, but not correct) she replied, laughing. Apparently they use a different word order for this so she taught me the correct way to say it. The literal translation is "I have older sister two person."


I finally feel like I can start making progress with the language. I'm still limited by how much my little brain can absorb in one sitting, but I can ask what things are, and for the speaker to slow down & repeat themselves, and I have the very first building blocks of the sentence structure. Even if it's something lame like "I have 10 fingers." "I don't have a chicken." being able to put the words together in a logical, communicative way is helping them to start sticking in my brain much better than simply reciting the noun over and over again. (It also makes me feel better about making my students drill sentences.) I fully realize that I have a LONG way to go, but at least I'm moving forward.


Oh... and for what it's worth, at dinner tonight, I did teach Bunny how to say "I have three younger sisters." Maybe I'm not that competitive afterall.

Code Pineapple - I still have a head-cold, and that on top of my young learner classes tomorrow might just push me into Durian territory!

The Facts of Life

One of the things about Thailand that's very different from the US is how much less prudish, how much more honest things are here. Don't get me wrong, women are modest here (well, aside from the bar girls, naturally). You don't see many bare shoulders, low cut tops or plumbers cracks. But they're not at all prudish. I remember one of my first days, one of the office gals was joking about her big fat belly (yeah, she weighs about 110 lbs - anyway). She went up to one of the male teachers, picked up her shirt and holding out her belly told him "Look I'm pregnant. No, just kidding - I'm on my period, I'm so fat." Now I know girls in the US who would say something like that to a guy friend. But I have never gone up to a male coworker, lifted up my shirt, and complained about being bloated. It's just goes against the social mores.

They're far less prudish about sex too. Condoms aren't hidden on the top shelf of the feminine hygeine asile, or in the back of the store next to the pharmacy. No, they're at the check out next to the gum and candy...so while you're waiting in line you can remember to pick some up. Not that I have any need... but you know...in theory.

Just this week Key told me one of the women in the office is pregnant. The woman had just found out that day. She's young & unmarried (although she lives with her boyfriend) & wasn't exactly planning this. I was surprised that Key had taken me into her confidence like that. But then the very next day the woman in question came into the teacher's room and told another teacher, and there were three other people in the room, "Chan mee baby laao." (which literally translates into "I have baby already."... when Key told me that I was like 'she has a kid?' but Key mimed pregnancy and I figured it out. I don't know if this is an idiom or what.) But there was no shame, no hesitation, just a statement of fact.

It was in a similar fashion that Key pointed out the prostitutes on the main street as we drove to dinner one night. She flat out told me there was a lot of AIDS in Rayong and that she and her boyfriend both got tested when they started dating. Again, I was still practically a stranger, but she shared this with me with no hesitation, as easily as she told me they went bowling on their first date.

It's not just their openness in discussing things of a sexual nature... I've also noticed a real honesty about food. In the US it's very easy to forget that the meat we buy boneless & skinless & chopped into unrecognizable bits was actually a living breathing animal at one point. Here... yeah, in the supermarkets you can get neatly saran-wrapped meats... but there are also whole animals and many more animal parts available.

And in the street markets... well, you can hardly get anything more honest than seeing a fish flopping around in a bucket next to a grill full of it's quickly sizzling brothers.

The food here has faces... and feet... and eyes... and bills. I think I've mentioned before that I've seen chickens roaming free in a yard down the street... a yard right next one of the restaurants where I regularly eat chicken. I'm pretty sure there's a connection.

Yes it can be a bit disturbing to see all these things at the market, I was buying some bananas and this guy walked by carrying a pig's head, but I eat pork. I love pork. So why should I cringe when seeing the face of animal that I, however indirectly, killed?

And I don't know, in some ways it seems more humane, less disturbing to know that these crabs were probably crawling around the beach this morning. They didn't spend days on end couped up in a supermarket tank.

It has been a shock to my western sensibilities, but I'm getting used to it. I actually like getting to see what animal it is I'm eating. And honestly from a purely gustatorial standpoint; chicken on the bone with skin & fat attached is MUCH yummier than boneless-skinless-97% fat free chicken breast. I'm willing to look at a real chicken in order to eat something that tasty.

Still not quite so interested in trying the squid though.

TAG: Code Pineapple. Everything's fine, but I'm getting a cold, and I've been staying up entirely too late for no good reason at all. Not a good combo!

Backstreet Girl

I was going to go to Bangkok today, this is like the third time I'd planned to go but backed out. The King's sister passed away earlier this year and they are having the funeral services now. Millions of additional people have gone to Bangkok to pay their respects. So I thought maybe this would not be the best time for me to go. Next week maybe.


And I've recently learned that one of the beaches I've been going to is called (in Thai) "Jellyfish Beach"... and for good reason. When I went swimming I felt all kind of itchy but didn't know why. Turns out it was lots and lots of tiny little jellyfish stinging me. I've got what looks like a rash all around my chest and on my back. It's not horrible, but it is making me rethink my whole 'quality time at the beach' objective. I'm going to have to figure out if there's a non-jellyfish beach around or what. This is beginning to explain why I'm often the only one in the water. =/ There is a product that is supposed to prevent jellyfish stings, well, prevent the pain & irritation from jellyfish stings. It's a sunscreen combo thing called SafeSea. I'm going to look for it here, but if I can't find it - I might be inclined to send some fun Thai souvenirs to anyone who can send me some. =)


So I didn't go to Bangkok and I didn't go to the beach... I just bummed around Rayong... and uncovered a bit of a mystery. Just behind Tesco Lotus there's a big technology mall. That's where I got my phone, and where I've gone to get the cards to add minutes. I also may or may not have purchased pirated videos there. Every single time I've gone, there's been a decent sized market out front. This is one of the few markets I'd seen that had souvenir type things, clothes and baskets and a few other handcrafts. I'd seen a blanket and a back-pillow that I really wanted, but hesitated because I wanted to wait until I had my first big paycheck. Well, I got my first big paycheck and tried to go there a couple times this week. Each time I went, the market wasn't there. At first I thought I had gone too late... then I thought maybe it's only open on the weekends. So I went again today... and the market was still gone. =(


I have no idea if that was a seasonal market or if it's just on a break or what. But the moral of the story is... if you see something you really like, you should get it when you see it! I was really bummed because it's finally getting cold enough (at night) that I really need a blanket (I only have a little 60x60 polyester throw from Lotus). I'd seen another market in the area so I decided to head towards it and see if they had anything good. It was a really big market, but almost entirely fish or fruit. Then I wandered around some other side streets and found a lot of other totally random shops.


Eventually I found another market with clothing and accessories. I stopped in a couple shoe places and got myself two new pairs. I really needed new sandels as I only had work shoes and flip flops. And I found a blanket. It's not as cute as the one I had seen before... but it's big, cheap, and not polyester (it's terry-cloth in fact... odd), then I found a couple shops that had fabrics. Oooooh... pretty pretty fabrics. No silk, but some beautiful woven cottons. Now, I realize, I should have followed my own advice and bought them on the spot, but I didn't have enough money on me for the fabric and the blanket, so I'll have to go back another time. But it was fun to wander around on different streets for a change.


TAG - Code Pineapple. I'm fine except that my poor chest is absolutely freckled with jellyfish stings =(

A belated horror story

It was a hot and steamy night. Rebel trudged home from the food court laden with kow mok gai and a weariness known only to EFL teachers who've spent an hour attempting to explain a minor and unimportant grammatical point to a student who just.won't.let.it.go. She felt her arms begin to go numb under the weight of her oversized backpack. She reached behind to lift and adjust the weight of the bag, feeling the cool air slide between the bag and the sweat soaked shirt against her back. Only another block to go.


The side gate was closed, so she walked the long way around to the main entrance, every step wringing another drop of sweat from her brow as she greets the night-guard. Almost home. Step by step up the staircase, and down the hall. She dropped her backpack and rummaged for her keys... the other side of the door held the joys of air-conditioning and a refreshingly cold shower. She opened the door, turning on the ceiling fan and heaving her bag into the room before turning on the light. Home.


Sweat soaked work clothes were shed carelessly as she made her way to the shower. She shut the bathroom door behind her and turned on the water. No tentative splashing to get used to the cold water tonight... no, she jumps under the full force of the water, washing away sweat and stress. She reaches up to comb through the tangled mop on her head thinking she's well overdue for a haircut. And suddenly something grazes her leg... a feeling distinctly unlike drops of water. Gasping she looks down and sees...





THE LARGEST FUCKING FLYING COCKROACH KNOWN TO MANKIND.



AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


She screams, kicking the cockroach away from her. It lands in the water pooling on the bathroom floor and scurries this way and that as poor Rebel attemps to get away from it. Our heroine jumps across the tiny room, tears open the door and runs SCREAMING into the main room. She pauses briefly, dripping profusely onto the bathmat, to scan the room for a towel. She recalls that her only clean towel is hanging the bathroom which is now occupied by the LFFCKtM. Her two other towels are on the drying rack out on the balcony. Only the knowledge that the night-guard is sitting directly in view of her balcony window keeps her inside. She turns around and peeks into the bathroom again.


The LFFCKtM is doing the backstroke, scurrying around the bathroom floor.


AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rebel screams again, running in circles around the room, dripping water everywhere. She considers briefly, but sincerely, wrapping herself in her blanket and running across the hall to find a neighbor to dispatch the LFFCKtM in a manly fashion. Only the prospect of complete humiliation is more terrifying than the thought of the creature in her bathroom... so she does what any self-respecting blogger does in such a horrifying situation.

(for some concept of scale - my foot is as long as one of those squares)

After documenting the size and fearsomeness of the LFFCKtM for posterity, our heroine begins to contemplate the best course of action. Any attempt to kill the LFFCKtM would only result in a mess more disgusting and disturbing that the LFFCKtM itself. She decides to immobilize the creature with a shoe, so she can slide a piece of paper underneath it and transport it outside. She drops a sandal onto the LFFCKtM.... and it SCURRIES AWAY!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After several attempts, interspersed with running around the apartment naked & screaming & thinking decidedly unfeminist thoughts about how girls should *not* have to deal with bugs, brave Rebel manages to secure the LFFCKtM in a the cover of an old notebook and toss it outside without flashing the night guard. She takes a moment to shudder and 'yuck' before returning to the shower (which has continued running through this ordeal) and finally getting ready for bed.

Life in the Little Mango is anything but dull.

Code Pineapple.

War stories

Well, fuck. I was all prepared to give today a Code Mango again... but I started feeling queasy again when I got home. No major crisis - just enough to make me wonder if the antibiotics really are working or not. But for most of the day I felt better... so we'll split the difference and call it a Code Pineapple kind of a day.


Bunny and Bobby went to Ko Samet last night and I'd mentioned that if I was feeling better I might try to meet up with them for the day, since I didn't have class until 7pm tonight. But when I got up it was raining... and I realized I hadn't done any lesson planning at all for that class or the two horrible young-learner classes (well, one horrible, one just so/so) I teach on Sundays. So I decided to stick around here. I spent an obscene amount of time in bed playing around on facebook... but actually had a really good chat with someone (hi MJ) so it was worth it.


I went to lunch at around 1 or so. Some of the teachers had been talking about a new German restaurant that serves good English/American/German breakfasts with eggs and bacon and other exotic foods like that. ;) One of the teachers... I can't remember if I gave him a nickname or not - let's call him Baldy... drew a map for me. But then he said it was right next to a popular massage place so I could just ask for that and the motorcycle taxis would get me close enough. Which is exactly what I did.


OMG... it was such a treat. For one, the restaurant had walls... and doors! Seriously, it was exciting. The floor was something other than bare concrete and the tables were not covered in old Pepsi banners. There was NO toilet paper on the tables!! (Thais use TP like we use napkins or paper towels - it's just an all purpose product. Of course, you never know if there will be TP in the bathroom... but there will *always* be some on the table! ) I accidentally went into the wrong part but the owner came out and explained to me in fluent English that the restaurant part wasn't open yet but she ushered me into the cafe part that was open, and got me a menu - in English. I said "Danke" because I was just so excited not to have to try to order in Thai. LOL. After all my whining about breakfast I wasn't actually in the mood for it so I had a ham and cheese sandwich instead. Mmmmmm. Just your average ham sandwich on lightly toasted white bread, a little lettuce - a LOT of mayonaise. I was very happy. It was 75 baht.... twice what a big ol' plate of fried rice or pad see yoo costs at the market. It didn't even come with fries or chips or anything. Still - it was worth it. I was particularly excited that it didn't send me running to the bathroom.


I spent a few hours at school sorting out my lesson for tonight and trying to figure out what to do for my young-learner classes. One book is way too hard for the students, and one book is way too easy... so I've got to do it all from scratch. For the class that's way ahead of the book, I'm just going to play games tomorrow... there's a Halloween party, so it's okay. I'm going to try to get them to make up scary stories. We'll see how that goes. But for the other class... the class that won't talk and just stares at me blankly when I give them the most basic instructions... I'm taking them back to square one. I'm going to start with vocabulary words - getting out whatever nouns, verbs, and adjectives they know... then I'm going to have them start making sentences using the words they know. Seriously, they're in book 6 and are supposed to understand a couple of past tense forms and two present tenses...so this should not be a challenge... but we'll see.


I got some dinner at the restaurant next to the school (which does *not* have doors or windows), taught my one class for the day, then filled out my time card. I taught over 100 hours this month! I know it doesn't sound like much... but it certainly kept me busy, especially since that number doesn't include travel or planning time! Key drove me home again, and stopped to pick up some dinner to-go first. The place she went was right next to a place selling toast! I was so excited. White bread twice in one day - such a treat! It's such a crack up, so Thai. There's a woman with a little street cart making drinks and grilling toast on a little BBQ. First she slathers it with margarine then toasts it face down on the grill. Random. Then, because this is Thailand - she spoons a generous pile of sugar on top of it and shakes it off and puts it into a plastic bag, which of course goes into a second plastic bag. I'd ordered two pieces so it was like a little toasted sugar sandwich.


When I got back to my apartment I decided to see if Bunny and Bobby were back from Ko Samet. They were and we actually had a great time talking. They got really excited about the fact that I had found toast, so I shared. We just sat around eating toast and telling our stories. They both did study-abroad in college, Bunny in France and Bobby in England so we chatted a bit about that. They've only been in Thailand about a week or so I think... so they were asking me questions about everything. I reassured them that I'd gone through all the same culture shock that they're going through and gave them some hard learned tips (where to find the western toilets, why you shouldn't take a tuk-tuk in Bangkok "You mean there's not a special discount day?", and how many pages to prepare for a 3 hour lesson). They were hanging on my every word in a way that I found most enjoyable. Mostly it was fun to be speaking at full speed.


The A/C in their room wasn't working so I taught them to say "broken" and found the word for A/C in their phrase book - they have the same book I do... although theirs is in much better condition. =P But then I remembered that when they were sorting out my "hong naam fai see-a" problem the landlady kept turning off the main power using one of the three black light switches on my wall (the switches that control the lights are beige and... different). So I found their black light switch and sure enough it was 'off' so I flipped it on then pressed the button for the A/C. When the cool air started drifting into their room it was as though I had magical powers. Yeah... I'm pretty much their hero now.

Sahm sip see

My birthday rolled around a bit early this year, but I think it's safe to say I'm 34 (sahm sip see). Lordy lordy... that's like a real grown up age isn't it?






I thought about doing something fun like having a blog contest for my birthday... but I just wasn't willing to put that much effort into it. I'd tried to round up a bunch of the teachers to go out to a club on Saturday night. I got a lot of "maybe"s which always makes me nervous, but finally Jed (the other American teacher) said not only would he go, but we could meet up earlier for dinner & a few drinks. So I had dinner with him and his Thai girlfriend. It was fine... but not the kind of socializing that I crave.

Jed is nice enough but we don't have a much in common. His girlfriend M. also seems nice enough, but it was not my birthday wish to sit across the table watching them all night. He would pet and fawn over her, playing with her hair, poking her side, teasing her etc. etc. She would, in turns stare at him in complete adoration - putting food on his plate, filling his drink etc. and then fuss and pout when he didn't take her claims of having malaria seriously. It was odd to say the least. She doesn't speak much English and he doesn't speak much Thai... but it seems 'true love' doesn't require much verbal communication.





I don't mean to paint either of them unkindly... like I said Jed is friendly and chatty, and if I were a guy, I'd have been in love with M. by the end of dinner. She's really beautiful - in a jeans & T-shirt kind of way, and was the ultimate hostess serving us soup and drinks, smiling and laughing no matter how we butchered her language. But like I said, it wasn't what I was craving. I'd much rather be discussing life, the universe & everything in a mellow pub, or just joking around with the guys from the CELTA.



After dinner we went to the club and met up with one of the other teachers. Again, it was fun enough... I mean, I was out drinking - there was loud music... but I'm still not feeling much camaraderie with the other teachers. I mean... we exchange a few words in the staff room then spend a few hours in our separate classrooms and then exchange another couple of words in passing before going home. We've had lunch or dinner together two or three times between classes... but that's been about it. I don't know... I think I'm expecting too much at this point.

I actually think that part of it is that most of the other teachers are Filipino... so even though they speak English (more or less) fluently, there's still a pretty wide culture gap. For them, teaching in Thailand is just a job... not as much of an exotic adventure. I mean, I asked one of the gals if she'd been to the beach yet and she was like "My whole country is beaches."




Speaking of exotic adventures though... I managed to successfully use a squat toilet whilst completely inebriated! There really ought to be a merit badge for that. The trick is... for anyone who ever finds themselves in that situation is to *really* squat... not just like it's time to work your glutes. Sorry for the TMI - but seriously these are things they don't put in the travel guides.




Although ... this whole 'exotic adventure' thing is all relative - you know? I mean... people live here, there's a mall, they have cable TV and high speed internet. For them, it's not exotic... it's just life. Using a squat toilet is not cause for celebration. And actually for me, more and more, I'm getting into the groove and adapting to the lifestyle here. It's no longer a big deal for me to hop on the back of a motorbike taxi to go to the store. Helmet? What's that? Today I even carried home a little bed-tray/ mini desk home as we rode. I feel confident that a true Thai could move the entire contents of a studio apartment using just a motorbike... but for me, just carrying something bigger than my purse was a bit scary. But there are still times when I just look around me and say (pardon my French ...) "I'm in fucking Thailand!"




Today I was having breakfast at the B&B and you know, just sitting there. Turning to the left I can see the family living room, a nice sofa, TV with the news on, and several pictures of the kids & grandkids on the bookshelf. Straight ahead, there's the 'kitchen' - two or three big woks positioned over propane burners. Two large rice cookers were on the counter, as well as two big basins where they washed the dishes. The whole restaurant is open air... you can look beyond the kitchen into the neighbor's yard... and to the right there's the street and across the street, a big green pond/grassy area. There's a dog running across the street, a female who's had a litter or five in her time so all six (8?) of her doggy boobs are hanging half way down to the street. A Mom & son ride in on a motor bike and sit down next to me. And it just struck me... you know, this is *not* the US. I can think of no place that I've ever lived that would be like this.




As I was thinking that, a fairly gregarious man wandered into the restaurant and sat down across from me. "Galkouth lkadoiuend alkjoiutysa." he said with a smile.
--"Mai cow jai." - my standard reply.
He repeats himself, this time in English "You sleep my house?" I've been asked the question enough to know that he's not propositioning me, he's asking "Where do you sleep (live)?"
--"Som ping sorng" I reply, pointing at the building behind us. (I'm not sure if Som Ping Sorng is the name of the store on the ground floor, or the name of the people who own the building - but it's what I tell the motorcycle taxis when I want to go home).
"Aaaah Som ping sorng." he concurs with a smile. "You teacher?"
--"Yep."
"You teach... adflpoiuv qne lakdfjady?" he asks.
--"ECC" I reply.
"Aaaah... ECC.... Rayong Rama." (that's the name of the movie theater behind the school - and what I tell the motorcycle taxis when I want to go back to work). I nod again, this is one of the longer conversations I've had with a Thai person outside of school. "You come from America."
--"Yes, America."
"Aaaaah America! George Bush!" He says.
--I make a face, and say the only Thai phrase that even comes close to my opinions on the subject. "Mai ow." (Don't want.) "Mai ow George Bush."
He brings one finger from each hand up next to each other in front of him. "Thaksin, George Bush, same-same!" (Thaksin is the highly controversial former Prime Minister of Thailand.)
--"Same-same." I exclaim. "Same-same!"
"Same-same" he claps, ending the most meaningful conversation I'd had in days.


So yeah... life is not quite as Mango as I'd like... but I'd had three fairly crappy birthdays in a row in the States and at least now I can say, I'm in fucking Thailand! And that really is something for me.


TAG - Code Pineapple.

A friend?

One of the gals at work, Key, has started offering to take me to dinner & home after work. I’ve taken her up on it a few times, and I have to say that it’s nice to have someone to eat with… even if our conversations are limited at best. Her English is pretty good actually, but we’re still at the small talk stage. One thing I’ve noticed is that she’s hesitant to voice a strong opinion on anything (“it’s up to you” is as popular saying as “it doesn’t matter”) , and at the same time I don’t really want to offend her by asking any personal questions… so we generally end up talking about the food.

We’ve gone to my regular market, and we’ve gone to a restaurant. Today her boyfriend met her at work and the three of us went to a big outdoor market… this one was all food vendors. I asked her what she wanted - thinking I’d just have what she was having, but when I do that, she out-polites me by insisting that I order something and then she orders from the same place. We walked by the different vendors – pad thai, sea-food, soup, Thai omelets, etc etc. We came to a place that had ‘steak’ and that was too tempting to pass up. It ended up being a pork steak… but there was gravy, and there were french fries, so I was pretty happy.

Her boyfriend, let’s just call him Boy, used to be a student at the school... but he’s not taking classes at the moment. Key and Boy were talking (in Thai) and somehow I picked up enough to guess that they were talking about how I don’t speak Thai. When I asked “are you teasing me because I can’t speak Thai?” Key replied that she was telling him that I was trying to learn. Boy commented that he could teach me some Thai if I would teach him some English. I told him I thought would be an excellent idea! After finding out how much formal lessons cost, I’ve been worried about how I would ever learn the language. I mean, I’ve been picking up a word here or there, but it’s slow going without the structure of a formal class. We’ll have to figure out when and where and all that… and see if it actually happens. I only have one day off a week, and I’m reluctant to schedule anything at all on that day… but I do really want to learn. So we’ll see. In any case it’s nice to feel like I’m starting to make a friend.

I’m dreading tomorrow’s classes, not only do I have my two kid classes, I have to cover someone else’s class while one of the office staff gives a test to one of the classes I gave last week. And I have another class after my two kid classes. I brought the books home so I could plan tonight… but nope, I’m just hanging out playing computer games. I’m not sure what exactly is wrong with me. I know that I feel shitty when I go into a class under prepared, but at the same time it’s hard for me to stay motivated.

I’ve been told that language institutes are the fast-food of language learning, and I think that’s accurate. I do a little prep work (an hour or so per class) so I at least know what I’m supposed to be teaching, then get to class & go through the book highlighting and clarifying what I can. With as many different classes, and as many students as I have, it’s hard to be as invested in any particular class as I’d like to be. I’m still having problems remembering the names of all the students in my bigger classes. I can’t really think much beyond what I’m teaching that day or the next, and I haven’t had the brain power to think of any particularly interesting activities. I guess I’m still in survival mode. I think about this a lot… I want to be a good teacher. I just don’t think I’m willing or able to put in the work that it’ll take to be a really good teacher. I’m going to have to settle for being an okay teacher… or at least not a horrible one for a while. Which doesn’t feel great, but I’m just going to have to make peace with that idea.

Back to my budding social life though… I’ve invited the girls from the office and some of the other teachers to go out to a club tomorrow night. I’m still not sure exactly who is going to go, or how exactly I’m going to get there (I need to set something up with the motorcycle taxi guys… not sure how late they work). But it should be fun… you know, if anyone else shows up. If it just ends up being me, it’ll be a sad sad day.

TAG - Code Pineapple again... no idea why my tummy refuses to stay settled. I was fine all day until I got home. =/

Yai

Today was a holiday so I took it easy. I'd contemplated going to Bangkok or even just the beach, but instead decided to stay around town. I went to the mall, and then to Tesco Lotus for lunch. I'm telling you, livin' la vita loca over here. ;) There was a big outdoor market set up next to Lotus, so I wandered around it for a while. It was almost entirely clothes & accessories though... western style stuff and very little of it in my size.

I was looking for a pair of swim shorts so I wouldn't feel quite so big, white & naked next time I go to the beach. As I was looking the sales woman said "Big size for you." and pointed to the next rack. My instinct is to be offended - 'who's she calling big?'. But the fact is, I am big - huge by Thai standards, and I was looking for something I could actually wear. I found a pair that looked good, bought them and wandered off.

These were one of very few pairs that didn't have Doremon or Scooby Doo or some other cartoon character on them - adult shorts!

At the next booth I stopped at, I got the same treatment, the man pointed over to one end of the display with a "Yai, yai" (Big big). This time I wanted to tell him "No, actually this is for my friend and she's not yai!" but you know... language barrier and all.


The language barrier continued at dinner tonight. I went to the market and found a booth I'd been to before and ordered one of my standards - pork fried rice. When the woman brought it out to me she started talking to me. I, obviously, didn't understand what she was saying, and thought maybe she wanted me to pay. I got out my wallet but then she just laughed and signed 'no no'. I said "mai kow jai" (don't understand) but she kept talking. The only word I caught was Philippines. I thought she might be asking if I were from the Philippines, so I told her I was an American... but there was obviously not much communication going on. Smile and nod, smile and nod.


She went back behind the counter to help another customer, but soon enough she came back to me. She grabbed my arm and started motioning to her own chubby arm and then indicated that she was really fat, rubbing her belly etc. I got that she was telling me she was fat, and can only assume she was saying something like "Look - we're both fat!" or "Don't eat that or you'll be fat like me." Or possibly... as she held her arm up next to mine in the way we used to in California to compare tans (we were a similar shade)... "You look like a big, dark, Philipino girl." I really don't know what she was saying, and I'm still trying to work out if I was insulted or not.


TAG for today - Code Pineapple. I want to give it a mango, I mean, I didn't have to work and I spent the day shopping. Oh and I recognized my first full word in Thai today "closed" I had to sound it out. =) But something that I ate today at lunch has been giving me problems and it's not pretty. Just when I thought I'd adjusted to all the Thai microbes... =/

The tropical life...

I was just absolutely wiped out after my Saturday classes. I had about 27 hours of teaching last week (14 class sessions)… which is normal. But since I’m new it takes me a long time to prep each class... about an hour per class… and that’s just to get a feel for what the lesson is about and what order to do the activities in. I’m not even close to giving the kinds of lessons I’d like to be giving at this point. I learned a lot from the CELTA course… but with all the self evaluations, peer evaluations, and tutor feedback it teaches you to be extremely critical of every little thing. I keep trying to tell myself that I don’t need to be perfect… as long as the students are getting exposure to the language and getting to practice a bit each time, I’m doing okay. Still… it takes a lot out of me. I really want to be a good teacher; I want my students to actually learn something and for their skills to improve. But also, after years and years in unrewarding jobs, I want to feel like I’m actually doing something productive.

Oh, and the kid classes I was dreading…all I can say is that I survived. I’m taking both of them over from the Canadian guy who just left for a job in Bangkok. I remember him complaining that one of the course books was too advanced for his students… and now I know what he was talking about. In the first class I was struggling to get them to do even the most basic of the activities… seriously, I was saying “point to the mountain” and only about half of them could do it. So that was the first three hours (I misread my schedule and thought they were each 4 hours… so I was actually relieved it was only 3 hours). The second three hour course was the complete opposite. They ploughed through the activities in the book like nothing. We did a listening activity – and usually I have to go through the CD like 3 times before the students can get all the information from it, but with this group – the kids were laughing at a joke on the CD the first time through. That’s a pretty advanced level of comprehension! I know I’m going to need to challenge them though… I don’t want to let them skate by just using the forms and structures they know really well. For the first lesson though, we spent the last hour playing games. Word games, but still.

So, after all that my little brain really really needed my day off. I made it a top priority to get to bed early so I might get a decent night’s sleep. I did go to bed by 11pm… but unfortunately was woken at around 3am by a HUGE storm. I mean, cracks of thunder that sounded like (I can only assume) a giant bomb going off next door, and lightening flashes that just light up the entire sky. And the rain… the rain! After living in Portland, I feel like I’ve got some experience with rain. But we didn’t get many real storms. Here the sky just opens up and it’s like fire hoses pouring down. The upside is that the storms blow past pretty quickly, so most of the days I’ve been here have been at least mostly sunny. But it was quite a production and I couldn’t sleep through it, and then I couldn’t fall asleep for quite a while afterwards. So much for catching up on my sleep.

I got my legs waxed again today… no big adventure this time as I’d dutifully waited until I was good and furry first. Then, as per my routine I went to the beach. This time the songthaew stopped in the town of Ban Phe. I think I mentioned that I figured out that the beach I really like is not actually in Ban Phe… I think it’s called Laem Mae Phim. Anyway, the songthaew stopped well before the beach I wanted to go to, so I walked… and walked… and walked. I gave up as soon as I got to a spare bit of beach and spent a bit of time in the water. I wasn’t really enjoying myself though…there were a ton of people around. And I haven’t gotten swim shorts yet, so I was feeling decidedly naked in comparison to the Thai swimmers, even in my fairly conservative speedo. Anyway, I wandered around the shops for a while, but realized I hadn’t brought much cash, so I didn’t actually buy anything.

I did pick up a nice cool beverage though.

No, it’s not an adult beverage…it’s just coconut juice. There was a woman with a cart and a bunch of under ripe coconuts in a cooler and I watched someone else order one, so I did too. She basically takes the coconut out and whacks it a few times around the top with a cleaver until it cracks… then she just sticks a straw in it and there you go. Fresh cool coconut juice. And let me tell you, it was nummers. After I finished the juice I ate the fruit. Since it’s under ripe it’s not all hard and dry, it peels off the shell really easily. And when you eat it, it’s not like gnaw gnaw gnaw, it’s just kinda soft and chewy. It has a milder taste too.

And now I’m back home… I stopped by the school to pick up the teachers books for my classes tomorrow. I have to do some intake/placement evaluations in the morning (all other duties as assigned) so there goes the morning I was going to spend planning lessons.

*update - of course after writing up this whole post I realized I was far too tired to do any lesson planning last night so I just went to sleep. =? Todays classes should be interesting! Oh, and I think Thailand might be gearing up for another coup... some people don't like the new PM any more than the old one. I still have enough money for an emergency plane ticket home... but so far none of this political stuff has had even the slightest impact on my day-to-day life.

TAG - Code Pineapple.

Breakfast of champions + further (albeit unnecessary) proof of my dorkiness

I'm happy to tell you that the mysterious mass-restaurant closure appears to be over. Yesterday while the electricians were working on my "hong naam fai see-a" issue I actually got to eat real food. Actually, the restaurant I wanted to go to was still closed... but I think maybe it was just too early. Anyway I ended up going back to the place where the girls had laughed at me. I dont' think I can adequately describe how much I was dreading going back there. But as you know I was pretty dang hungry.


This time I took the "nee arai" (what's that) approach and it worked okay. I noticed that here was a display with three different pots of soup near the front of the restaurant, so I just walked up and pointed to the most appetizing looking one and said "nee arai" - of course I don't know what the heck they said... but I smiled and nodded and indicated "one serving" and sat down. They then proceeded to bring me all these dishes. You know... there are a lot of things I *want* to take picture of, but I'm just so self conscious already... so I just sneak a shot here and there...and the quality shows. Seriously though, I dare you to go into a new restaurant, ALONE, and start taking pictures of the food and tell me how you feel.

Let's see what we've got here going clockwise from the lower left: little nests of thin rice noodles, the main dish - a yellow coconut curry with chicken, green veggies- mint, basil, long green beans, white sprouts, and shredded cabbage, um... other misc toppings sliced green onions, cucumbers, pickles, and maybe carmelized onion... not really sure, and finally the dish where you put it all together. Yeah... not quite scrambled eggs and toast. It ended up being really good, but a bit spicier than I generally want my breakfast to be. But, you know, not bad for less than $2.

McLOL

Ok... we need names for clarification... there's the restaurant where they laughed at me - "McLOL", the place where I've practiced my Thai - "Thai101", the little restaurant on the other street that's basically an extention of the family's living room, let's call it a "B&B", and the restaurant right behind the school, which unfortunately I'll have to call "The Dive".

Thai 101

So with access to food again things were looking up. I only had two classes today (which just gives me a bit of breathing room to plan for tomorrow)... the first one at 2pm. So I went to the B&B for breakfast. All of the restaurants I go to are family affairs, and I generally just give my order to whomever is looking at me when I sit down. So far this has worked okay. Today however... today I let my little farang dork shine. I get to the restaurant and I say hello to the cook and the other lady who work there. I sit down at an empty table. A familiar looking man comes over, smiling, and says something to me. Of course I don't know what he's saying, so I tell him what I want to eat. He smiles and says something else.... I smile and he walks away. A moment or two later the cook looks at me, expectantly and I repeat my order to her. Then I notice the first guy sit down at a table nearby and start eating and talking to a little girl. I've seen a little girl here at the B&B sitting on the couch in her living room watching TV... but this is not that girl. And soon enough the man and the little girl get onto his motorbike and drive away. Only after he leaves do I realize this isn't the dad who owns this restaurant... it's the soup guy from across the street from my school. D'Oh!


So let's recap from his perspective. You notice a new woman in your neighborhood - she's come into your place of business once or twice. One day, you're out having a nice meal with your kids. You notice the new gal and go over to say hi to her. "How do you like our city?" you ask (or some other general small-talky thing beyond 'hello') and she replies to you "I'd like a burger and a coke please." Double D'oh!


If that doesn't win me the crown for Dorkfest... I'm not sure what will.


TAG - Code Pineapple... if I haven't mentioned it twenty times already - I have two new classes with young learners tomorrow - three hours each.

How many Thai people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

So up till now I had no light in my bathroom. Well, there was a fluorescent light bulb but nothing happened when I flipped the switch. I've been a bit too concerned with things like food and teaching to really bother with getting it fixed. There are windows in the bathroom so in the daytime I don't need a light and really, at night I don't need a light either. I know where everything is. But I'm starting to feel like this will be my home for a while and thought a working light might be nice.


I've mentioned that on Monday - Thursday I have a class off campus - 30 minutes away. So that's a solid hour a day in a car with a Thai man.... who doesn't speak English. "Hello" and "How are you." don't take up much of the drive time... and even "Did you eat yet?" "I ate fried rice." leaves us with a good 55 min of silence together. I've taken to pointing at things in the car and saying "nee arai?" (what's that) but if he tries to tell me more than one word a day I totally forget it. So the other day I'm sitting in the car in silence and it occurs to me that he might be able to help me get my light fixed. So I point up to the dome light in his car and ask "nee arai?" "Ahhhh - fai." he tells me (a significant proportion of our 'conversations' each day involve one of us saying "aaaahhhhh" or "mai kow jai" (don't understand). "Fai" I repeat "Thailand speak - fai" he confirms.. and then tells me how to say "light on" and "light off" but of course, I forgot.


Armed with one good word I flipped through my phrase book looking for how to say "it doesn't work" and luckily it's just one two syllable word "see-a" and I also find the word for bathroom "hong naam" (naam means water so I already knew half of it). So I say and mime to him "Hong naam fai see-a." and he says "Aaaaahhhhh fai see-a." and I repeat pointing backwards towards the direction of my apartment "My room, hong naam fai see-a." "Aaaahhhh kow jai, kow jai." (I understand.) "ok." "ok." and you know... the rest of the drive in silence as I mentally repeat "Hong naam fai see-a." about four hundred times.


Yesterday (before starting my quest for food) I stopped downstairs to tell my landlord my new phrase. The ground floor of my apartment is a big kitchen supply store - wholesale mostly, so there are always a lot of people and a lot of products everywhere. I can't get a read on exactly how many people work here... but at least 6 or 7 I'm guessing. So they're all sitting around outside and I come up and say "Hello" and launch into my "hong naam fai see-a" but then, you know she replies. And I have no idea what she's saying to or asking me. So I just repeat "hong naam fai see-a" and point upstairs, point to the light in the store and mime 'broken'. The landlord asks me something about 'go ECC' and I say yes, I'm going to work. And I think maybe she needs my key or something so I dig in my bag and offer her my key - which she mimes she doesn't need... but goes inside and grabs a padlock from the store and shows it to me. I'm like "I don't need a padlock... I just need a new light." so I repeat the one and only phrase I know for the situation "hong naam fai see-a" at which point the girls sitting there are laughing and repeating "fai see-a" so I guess they got my point... but I still had no idea when or if my light would ever get fixed.


Last night I came home and flipped on the light, the bulb tried to sputter to life but settled into a very dim blinking pattern. I contemplate showering by strobe light, but really it's not even bright enough to be worth it. Oh well.


This morning I get up and start getting ready for work. By which I mean I spent a solid two or three hours online and eating stale crackers. I finally shower when I decide I'm willing to brave the restaurant search again. I'm standing there in my towel, soaking wet when there's a knock at the door. I say 'just a minute.... I'm naked' - in English of course, because I wouldn't have a clue what to say in Thai. And I glance around and realize I don't have a bathrobe or really anything I can throw on quickly. My landlady says something and I decide to at least open the door to show her I'm in my towel. "Hi - just a minute, I'll put clothes on." "aaaahhh...qoeri adgha dkhkjyy" Ok... I close the door walk over to my wardrobe and try to figure out what's the easiest thing I can put on while soaking wet, I've dropped my towel and picked up a skirt when the door opens! I'm like "just a minute!" and she closes the door again. I put the towel on again and just let her into the room. I point at the bathroom light and show her how flipping the switch doesn't do anything. She leaves. Um... ok.


I *very* quickly turn around and start getting dressed. Fortunately I'm fully clothed when she briefly knocks and opens the door again. I show her I'm presentable and nodding she goes back outside and ushers in a man with a ladder - "Ahhhhh, I smile." yeah, thanks for letting me get dressed.


Now they've been here for about an hour.... and there's a second electrician on the job now. I still haven't had breakfast, and there's still no light in my bathroom, and I may never have an answer to the question in my post title. =/


TAG - Code Pineapple





Update... I'm home from work now, and the light works. So I guess I could upgrade this post to a Mango... but I'm like bone tired these days and freaking out about my 8 hours of kid classes on Saturday so Pineapple stands!

Rebel in crisis

Ok... since coming to Thailand, there have been massive protests, an overthrow of the government, I was nearly scammed in Bangkok and left wandering the streets alone and completely lost, I've walked into classes completely unprepared because I was given the wrong information. Today I taught for two hours in the (not really-that) dark because the monsoon rains had caused a power-out, I've had last minute room changes, and malfunctioning CD players. We're on the verge of a global economic collapse, the electronic deposit of my paycheck was rejected by my bank, and in my last class today I was informed that there was fighting on the border with Cambodia. All of this I've handled with a deep breath and a Mai Bpen Rai.... so you know when I say there's a crisis... I mean it. And if you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you've probably guessed... it has to do with food.


All the restaurants between my home and work have been closed for the past two days!!!! Granted, there are only four ... but ALL of them are closed on the same two days - with no warning... and no one can tell me why. I mean, why doesn't really matter... the point is I would kinda like to eat something at some point. I have no kitchen, I have no fridge, I have no car, and it's not like there's a Denny's down the street.


For the record, I'm not actually starving. I have some crackers at home (which - in this humidity- go stale about 4 minutes after you open them), and have been picking up 'surprise buns' from the gas station for breakfast. Yesterday and today I've had class from 1pm - 9pm with no real break. So I got to work early to prep my lessons and at around lunch time I took a motorcycle taxi to Tesco Lotus to get something for lunch (they have something approaching a grilled cheese sandwich I'll have to describe at some point), and take away pad thai for dinner. But seriously, a surprise bun, a sandwich and a non-American-sized portion of pad thai is not quite enough food to get me through 24 hours. Not when I'm walking to and from school, running up and down the stairs and wandering around the classroom all day teaching anyway.


Today I did the same thing, went to Tescos for lunch and brought back some pad thai, which I managed to eat a few bites of in my 5 minute break at around 3pm. By the end of today I was feeling faint and starting to get a bit cranky. I didn't have the energy to walk to the big food court down the street (only an extra 5 min. walk... but when you're hungry it feels like an hour), and I didn't have the patience to wait 15 min. for one of the office gals to get off work to drive me. So I just left. I even forgot to bring the rest of my pad thai with me. There are usually two food vendors across the street, and I've gotten fried rice from the one gal. But today - of course - she wasn't there. It was just the guy with soup. I don't know what kind of soup it was, and I don't really know how to ask. Well, I know how to say "what's that" but then I'm not actually going to understand anything he says... so it's a bit pointless. So I've avoided it thus far. But you know... desperate times...


I just said "gak bahn" (take away) and pointed. There were two other guys there, and Mr. No-teeth decided to strike up a conversation with me in his broken English. Now, I'm an English teacher, and I have a lot of experience speaking with people for whom English is not their native language. I feel like I have an above average amount of patience in trying to understand what someone is saying. But I'd spent the last two hours working with a couple of electrical engineers going through a presentation they need to give next week and trying my little heart out to get them to say "Valve" instead of "walbe", "experience" instead of "ehperihen." The one guy got it, but the other just refused to play ball. I kept telling him "You cannot make the 'v' sound unless you put your top teeth on your bottom lip like this... vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv... no, put your teeth (pointing at teeth) on your lip (pointing at bottom lip)... like this vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv.... vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv... I know it looks strange, I know it feels strange, but you cannot make the sound unless you do this (pointing to exaggerated mouth shape again) vvvvvvvvvv." "walbe" (head to desk / head to desk / head to desk). So ordinarily, I feel like I'm really patient with people who are trying to speak English to me, but at this point I just smiled and nodded and in my head screamed "GIVE ME FOOD AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!"


Eventually my mystery soup was ready and I could go home. Yup - in Thailand soup comes in a bag. So do beverages.... and you know one pack of chewing gum. On the right, the white stuff is rice noodles, on the left, the broth and some kind of ball-type-food-product. Have I mentioned that I don't have a bowl... or a spoon?


One of the comfort items I brought from home was my giant 32oz Associated Students of Willamette University mug . When I was in SF, J. questioned whether I really needed to bring it with me. But I justified it by saying it had sentimental value, and also that I could stuff about 6 pairs of underwear in it, so the overall volume it occupied was less than it appeared. I also reminded her that every WU Freshman quickly learns about four dozen uses for their ASWU (pronounced /az-woo/ look at my lips... woooooooo wooooooo azzzzz-woo) mug... and it quickly becomes as useful as a hitch-hikers towel.

There was actually quite a lot of soup - I just had to down half of it before I could take more pictures. Oh... and that tiny fork may or may not have been stolen for me the night of the infamous gay-bar cake fight.


The soup ended up being really really good. Yes, that shiny layer is pure fat... and it was awesome. The ball-type-food-product tasted like chicken and had a surprisingly crunchy/squeeky texture. The closest thing I could compare it to would be like those big white bean sprouts you get with Thai food. But you know...also chewy. It's not a texture I'm likely to crave, but when you're starving things like that don't matter quite so much. I would totally get it again, and I'll try to learn the name next time.


Ok... blood sugar is returning to normal, tummy is sufficiently full (for the moment) and life is reaching equilibrium again. Crisis averted. But for the love of Buddha I hope the restaurants re-open tomorrow!

Safety Dance

For those of you who read Random Meanderings - this will be an old rant... but I'm going to rant about it anyway.


I had my business English class tonight (and my first woman student) from 6-9pm. After the lesson we sat for a minute just talking. They asked where I live, and I told them (it's about a 7 min. walk - what's that- half a mile?) and they asked how I get home. "I walk." Then they started getting concerned. "It's too far!" "Do you have a friend to walk home with?" etc. It got to be a bit much. I feel safer in Rayong than I did in Portland. Yes, it gets dark early... but more people are outside their homes... or inside with the doors & windows open. From the food court where I eat dinner after class to to home I walk by the same people everynight. First the prostitutes (at first I thought they were just waiting for a ride... but now I'm pretty sure they're looking for business) Then I walk past the laundry guy who always asks me "Where you come from?" and "Where you go?" (the literal English translation of a Thai greeting like "How's it going?") and then the family with a little shop and the boy who says "Hello" to me. Then I go past the restaurant (all open air again) and the guys sitting at the table across the street. Then when I get to my building, there's the parking attendant/security guard greeting me at the gate. This is along a relatively well lit 10 minute walk.


I'm not naive, I know that there are dangers everywhere. And I realize not knowing the language or the culture here puts me at a disadvantage. But I also know to keep my wits about me, eyes open, aware of what's going on. And I know that the US has one of the highest rates of violent crime of any developed country... so I am statistically much safer here than 'back home'.


Honestly, the most frightening thing about Thailand for me is the traffic. I have to cross 8 lanes of main-road traffic to get to school - with no cross walk or traffic light. Every day I take my life in my hands stepping onto that street. (The rule is, wait for a half-way decent gap, and just go. Don't slow down, don't speed up, don't make eye contact, just go. The traffic will swerve around you. If you hesitate - if you panic, you throw off the rhythmn of traffic and you're dead.)


But the students really got worried. Especially when I told them I went out for dinner after class. They told me to eat dinner before class so that one of them could drive me home. It was sweet, really. I do appreciate their concern. But it was also irritating. I'm an adult, and I don't like being told what I should or shouldn't do. More than that though, I don't like being told that I should be afraid.


After class I stayed behind a minute to put my papers away and when I left the building two of my students were leaving the parking lot. As soon as they saw me, one hopped out of the car and ushered me into the front seat. There was no arguing with them. They drove me to the food court and lectured me the whole way. "In every country there are good men and bad men. Be careful! Carry an umbrella with you." Etc etc. I wish I knew exactly how dangerous this neighborhood was.... but I've only been able to find general stats for the country - which confirmed my feeling that Thailand has far less violent crime than the US. But maybe it really is a 'bad neighborhood' maybe people get attacked here all the time. I don't know. I just know I can't live my life in fear. I just can't.


I intend to get a motorbike once I get my first real paycheck (end of October) and then at least I'll get home more quickly. But until then, I'll take my chances.


TAG - Pineapple



Oh - and I have actually gotten to teach three repeat classes, and am already starting to feel a bit better. It's nice to *know* what we covered last time so I can spend some time reviewing before getting into that day's lesson. Of course I have a bunch of new classes for October, so the anxiety will be back shortly. The roller-coaster keeps zipping along.

A thousand more words...

Ban Phe is the beach near Rayong. I've been told there's a beach closer... but I don't know the name of it, and there are songthaews with "Rayong - Ban Phe" on them - so I just hop on.

The market (as seen from the songthaew)... actually, there were markets all over the place, some selling food, other selling tourist stuff, decorative shell art, fisherman shorts, batik sarongs etc. etc. When I get paid I'm going back and I will be shameless with my shopping.

The beach. The island in the distance is Ko Samet (I think - there were a few different islands, one of them is Samet). It was overcast so the water looks kind of grey, but it was warm outside and the ocean felt like bathwater, it was incredible. And look at the waves... so mild.

Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

This is what Code Mango looks like:

(BTW - I went back to the beach on Friday and lost those glasses to a surprisingly big wave. D'oh! Apparently I learned nothing from J's experience in India. Fortunately, I brought three pairs of glasses with me... so I'm good until I can get replacement sunglasses.)

Ups & downs & getting down to basics.

TAG - Pineapple

The downs: I don't really like any of the other teachers yet. I've seen two of the guys yelling at the office staff so far. Having *been* office staff - that's just not cool with me. Also, I thought I was going to have Friday & Saturday off, but found out today that I will need to cover for another teacher on Saturday and will have two classes to prepare for. One of which is a class of7 year olds!!!! 'Cause you know I love baby-sitting. =/ So instead of chilling out at the beach tomorrow - I'll be lesson planning (I'll try to make it out for at least a little while).

The ups: I sucked a bit less in my lesson today. Just a bit, but I think I'm going to start getting the hang of this. And once I get into a groove I'll feel better about balancing out crap lessons with okay lessons. Then tonight I was having dinner and one of my students came up to me. He introduced me to his wife & son and they sat and chatted with me for a minute. They let me practice a little Thai with them. So that was nice.


One of the things I'm learning here is to break things down into the essentials. Things are just *not* the same, and you can drive yourself crazy thinking about all the things that just don't equate with life back home. But if you figure out what you really need and start looking for what they have here that meets that need, you can find it. For example, I was looking for paperboard 3 ring folders in A4 size. But I haven't found them anywhere. But then I realized, I don't need a 3 ring (or even 2 ring) folder... what I need is someplace to put my lesson plans to keep them organized. I found some cheap plastic envelope type things that will do the trick just fine.


So overall I'm trying to break my experience, and what I want from this experience, into essentials. Then I can see if I'm getting what I want out of the experience or not.


What I want to get out of living in Rayong:

- I want to gain some teaching experience and build up my confidence.
- I want to spend quality time at the beach. Who knows when else in life I'll be this close to such an amazing place?
- I want to replenish my savings. I've still got a bit of money in my account, but I'm feeling increasingly nervous about spending it all on living expenses. I'd like to have a couple month's (Thai) living expenses saved up before leaving.
- I want to learn enough Thai to accomplish my day-to-day activities.
- I want to really learn to ride a motorbike.
- I'd like to make some real friends. But that's hard anywhere I go, so I don't know how much to factor this into the equation.
- I want to continue to have new experiences.

So as long as those things seem to be happening and I'm still on balance enjoying life, I'll stick it out. But if the office stuff starts bringing me down and/or interfering with my ability to do the things I want to do...then I'll start thinking about what needs to change.

Rejoining the ranks of the employed.

1I just went to the school and got my schedule for my first week of teaching. It turns out that I'm mostly doing private lessons. I got the course books & notes on my students and will spend the rest of today figuring out what exactly to teach them tomorrow. My first week is actually really light - only 10 hours total. But I have a 3 hour business English class on Tuesday and I don't have the profile for that class yet. Should be interesting.





Still alternating between panic & elation on a moment by moment basis. The people at the school are really nice, and one of them just gave me my first motorbike lesson. I didn't crash! Elation! But it's a new city and I don't know where anything is. I'm hungry and I don't know where to go for lunch. All my clothes are dirty, but I don't know where the laundromat is. My notebook is out of blank paper and I don't know where the book store is. Panic! But in exploring I successfully crossed 8 lanes of Thai traffic... terror followed by elation. AHHHHH!!





Last night when I was out looking for the internet cafe a big storm blew in. It was like something out of a movie. It was breezy, then there was a HUGE crack of lightening that caused the power to blink out for a second. Next came huge gust of wind bringing a few sprinkles. Shop owners were rushing to bring their products inside and close up shop. Before I could figure out what to do or where to goI as completely drenched. I ducked into the pub just as their power went out. I felt so stupid and awkward, the soaking wet farang who can't communicate anything to the bar staff. I turned around and left but the rain was so bad it almost wasn't safe to walk. The waitress brought me back inside and brought me a beer. The power came back on, but so did the AC. So I sat dripping and freezing drinking over priced beer all by myself watching cute Thai couples dash easily from their cars into the bar. I wondered, not for the first time, what on earth I was doing here.





I think once my classes start and I have a purpose for each day, I'll feel a little better. It'll also help when I learn my way around. Until then though... it's a challenge.

Well, that was quick.

Today's TAG - Pineapple? Watermelon? I'm gonna go with Fruit Salad for today.

So, um... I think I have a job.


I had heard about the job in Rayong before I finished the CELTA and at the time I'd said no, because I thought I wanted to stay in Chiang Mai for a while. But then I figured out that I want to be near the beach, so I went ahead and applied for it, and boom - I start on Monday.


I had to pack up and move from my monthly-rent room to a daily rent room today because I kinda figured I wasn't going to be staying here for another month. I do not enjoy packing. AT ALL. And you know, it wasn't until I was all unpacked again that I got the call about the job. So I get to repack all my crap on Friday.


I'm excited about having a job lined up because that means I'll actually have an income. But I'm also incredibly nervous. I mean, I've only had 6 hours of teaching experience so far, and I'll probably have 4 hours of teaching on my very first day. It looks like I'll be teaching adults at various levels, at least one Business English class, and at least one class of young learners. I'm not sure this will be the best fitting job in the world for me, but I'm taking an experimental view of it all. It'll give me a chance to get some experience and to work for a company that I know is legit (it's another branch of the school that I took the CELTA from). It's 25 contact hours a week at an entry level salary. The school will help me get a visa, and actually they're going to help me find an apartment too. The down side is that I'll only have one full day off a week. But as I don't anticipate having much of a social life - that shouldn't be a problem.


It's all exciting and scary... I really don't know what to expect.


Rayong is not really a tourist destination, so I don't anticipate meeting a lot of English speakers. Which means I'll really need to learn the language. Chiang Mai on the other hand is the second biggest city around, and famed for all the arts & crafts. There's a part of me that wants to do some serious shopping here before I move... but I really don't want to have to carry any more than what I already have. Such a tough call. Obviously, I have a lot of stuff... arguably more stuff than I really need. But for the month that I've been here I've worn nearly all the clothes I've brought and have not regretted bringing any particular item.

Except my notebook. Oi vey. I don't think I've mentioned that little tid-bit yet.

On the left, your standard American 8 1/2" x 11" three ring binder folder, on the right, your standard Thai A4 sized two ring binder. D'oh! You really should have seen me trying to shove sheets of A4 paper into my 8 1/2" x 11" folders. They just don't fit. Apparently A4 is the standard in Europe as well as Asia, the US really needs to get with it.


I still haven't learned to ride a motorbike... I keep getting told "come back later." I should probably take that as a Thai "No." and go someplace else... but I can't be bothered - this place is closest to my residence and the guy speaks English. I supposedly have an appointment for a lesson tomorrow at 4pm, but we'll see. I'd really like to learn while I'm here because I already kinda sorta know my way around. But I guess I can learn just as easily when I get to Rayong. I just think I'd have more fun on my last week here if I had my own wheels.


Ok... that's enough rambling for today.

To standard for this stage

T.A.G. for today... Pineapple? (Pineapple upside-down cake maybe?) I still have a cold, but it's not horrible.


Warning - I'm just going to whine for two paragraphs... you can skip ahead to the good stuff if you'd like.


It's been said before, but I'll say it again - the CELTA course is really intense. In some ways I haven't found it to be nearly as difficult as I was anticipating, and I really don't spend every waking second doing homework & lesson plans like I was warned... but it is intensive in that we learn a great deal and are expected to keep building and building our skills in each lesson. I really feel like getting 'above standard' feedback so early in the course really set me up for disappointment. I came into the course with the motto "I don't need to be perfect, I just need to pass." but at the mid-point evaluation I was told "Keep doing as well as you're doing and you'll get a Pass-B" but since then I've had to resubmit an assignment and the only two lessons I've taught have been graded 'to standard' with a lot of problems in them. So I feel like a failure... even though I'm not at all. You know, it's all to do with perspective. I would have rather just stayed "at standard" throughout the course.


My lesson today was really tough for me. It was "functional language" rather than a specific grammatical structure. So instead of teaching verbs in the present perfect continuous, I was teaching a variety of "polite requests, asking for permission & polite replies" I knew from the get go that it would be a challenge, and looking at it I could tell exactly what my main problems were... but I had a complete mental block on how to fix them. In feedback the instructor went through and explained "you could have done xy and zed" and suddenly it was all completely clear. I'd spent hours and hours and hours going around in circles not able to figure out what to do... and in 2 minutes she had the answer. Of course, that's to do with experience... but still it's frustrating.


OK - no more whining.


Today was fairly busy. The Cambridge certified external-assessor was at the school today. He was just verifying that our portfolios were in order and that the grading thus far has been up to Cambridge standards. He observed two lessons - fortunately not mine. There was an opportunity to air our grievances about the program with him... but no one really said anything. I thought about discussing my problem with Daddy Dearest, but decided that my time was better spent finishing up my lesson plan.


I had gotten to school early because I was still sorting out my lesson plan. A few of us were working in the computer room when the Canadian came in and told us that it was the Quiet Australian's birthday today. I thought it would be nice to get a birthday cake for him and the guys agreed. There's a bakery two doors down from the school and they happened to have one whole chocolate cake in the display. It was 400 baht ($12, *not* cheap by Thai standards) but since I'm still feeling a bit rich from this weekend's unexpected windfall I bought it. Then I ran two doors to the other side of the school and picked up some candles & plastic forks at the 7/11, then hid all the goodies with the gals from the front office. (Before coming here I was all worried about what kinds of things they would & wouldn't have in Thailand but the reality is - they have everything I could possibly need.)


So after we all met with the assessor, everyone hung out for a minute and had a little birthday party. It was really fun to have cake & candles & everyone singing... I think it lightened the mood a bit. Maybe that's the Pollyanna in me... but the Quiet Australian did seem to appreciate the thought. I have to say though, the Thais do a great many wonderful things, but chocolate cake is not one of them. It was fine, but I've made better.


After class I had dinner with one of the students at Chiang Mai University. It was just so sweet. One of the other teachers did a lesson on Friday about making arrangements and had the students do an activity where they asked each other "Are you free on Monday?" "No, I'm playing tennis on Monday. Are you free on Saturday?" and after class one of the students came up to me and asked "Are you free tonight?" and I said no... thinking she was still practicing. But she asked if I was free on Monday and invited me to have dinner with her. I was so totally flattered. Now, I don't know if technically it's inappropriate to socialize with students outside of class. But I do know that a couple of the guys have gone out to a bar owned by one of the students, and have run into other students while out drinking. I figured, whatever ethical grey area I might have stepped into - the overarching moral propriety of my normal behavior would keep me out of trouble.


It was fun... and the student was adorable. She started out by saying "We need to walk one kilometer." and I was like "OK" and she laughed at me... "Just joking! We'll take the CMU shuttle." (Apparently Thais don't do a lot of walking) The shuttles are like the train/tram things like they have in the parking lot at Disneyland or Universal Studios.... like an extra long golf cart. Anyway we walked all of a block & a half then got on the shuttle. It wound around through campus - OMG it's so lush! There's a decent sized lake and huge trees everywhere. It feels very tropical. But it's also very much a campus... lots of students everywhere, playing soccer & basketball, riding around on scooters, sitting around talking. Lots of big dorm buildings with laundry hanging out the window etc.


Eventually we got to the food court. Like most places in Thailand, it's all open-air. There are roofs but you're essentially outside (with mosquitoes and stray dogs etc). The food stalls themselves seemed a lot more permanent than the food stalls across from my school. These were well lit and had full on concrete walls... not just a wooden frame. Still, they are a bit reminiscent of the 'snack shack' at a football stadium. She asked what I'd like and I just said we could get whatever was her favorite. It's so funny because her English is really good, but still somewhat formal. So she said "I recommend..." and of course she repeated it about 5 times but I can't remember what it was called. I didn't feel comfortable whipping out my camera to take a picture, but MAN it was good! It was some kind of saffron/curried rice with little bits of chicken mixed in, and a seasoned chicken drumstick on the side. YUM... it was spiced, but not too spicy, and only 25 baht. We sat down and she asked if I like fruit, and I was able to tell her one of the very few words I've actually learned since getting here "Samporot" (no idea how it should be transliterated) - and after a few of my attempts to pronounce it she understood that I meant pineapple. So she ran off for a minute and came back with pineapple smoothie type beverages for us. Very sweet and very refreshing. I love that the Thais have a sweet tooth... my kind of people. Just you know... they should leave chocolate to the Europeans.


There were also a few vendors with their wares lined up on the side of the campus road. Mostly clothes (jeans & T-shirts), wallets, hair clips & cute notebooks. I didn't buy anything, because despite my poker win, I'm still trying to hold back on buying anything until I have a job & a permanent address. OH! But she got me a present!

It's just a little note-pad from CMU... but how adorable?! (an interobang would be nice here, don't you think?)
First off, hello! It's pink!! =) Second, check out the adorable elephants... they're all wearing mortar boards. How sweet was that???


We sat and chatted for a while. She told me about her family and I told her a little about the US. She's visited Korea, so she was telling me a bit about the things she noticed there. It was not the deepest of conversations, but she can actually communicate extremely well - despite the fact that she says "I don't speak English very well." Lordy. I decided to teach her the word "Confident" and subsequently tried to tell her to be more confident, because her English was actually just fine. And bless her heart, she used some of the language I had taught in my lesson today. "May I sit here?" and "I'm sorry, this seat is taken." (she was joking) LOL... and I told her my lesson really wasn't very good & she tried to reassure me "But I remembered it!" which I guess is the most important thing.


Overall a good day... but not without it's ups and downs. A very pineapple day. =)