Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Self induced chaos

Ok... I'm trying to stay positive, I'm trying to be productive, but frankly I'm freaking out right now.

I've got the to-do list with about 60 different tasks on it... and I'm slowly but surely moving things into the "completed" column (went downtown and got my visa yesterday)... but I'm already 8 tasks behind. My apartment is a disaster area and rather than channeling my moments of panic into actually accomplishing anything...I just get really freaked out and go watch the silly dancing guy on You Tube.... for like... an hour!

I live in a small apartment, so you might not think I have that much stuff... but I do.
Be afraid... very afraid!

There's a part of me that just wants to get rid of absolutely everything that doesn't have extreme sentimental value... because, really it's all just stuff. But on the other hand, if I come back to Portland within the next 5 years, I'm going to need stuff again. Am I going to wish I'd stored more of my stuff?

Why do I own so much clothing??? Why is none of it suitable for teaching in Thailand?

One 'productive' thing I did the other day was to go shopping for a teacher-appropriate wardrobe. From what I've read online, women need to wear skirts & dresses to work... and despite the heat, we need to keep our shoulders covered. Considering my current work wardrobe consists of two nice (read very warm) suit type outfits , a dozen pairs of corduroys and about a million sweater sets...and considering the unlikeliness of finding plus sized farang clothes in Thailand, I really did need to go buy an appropriate wardrobe.

Do you sense a theme? (I bought the green outfit for when I feel home-sick.)

I'm pretty happy with what I got, and I actually managed to buy two dresses, five skirts, eight tops, and a pair of shoes, all for under $350. Yay outlet mall! That should keep me well dressed for the next couple of years. But while the outfits look really cute now... I anticipate sweating like a pig in all of them.

And somehow I have to fit all of that plus whatever else I anticipate needing in this set of luggage.
The carry on & smaller suitcase are already full.

Oh...and have I mentioned that the 'service engine' light in my car came on the other day? I'm totally ignoring it. That poor car has been wanting to die for the past year and I keep thinking "it just has to hang on until I leave"... and really, it just needs to keep working for like a couple more weeks. Just a few more weeks!

Oh, and remember how I kept working for another two weeks so that I would have health insurance for the month of June - well, I just got the EOB for some services I availed myself of knowing that I would be covered. They've all been denied! WTF? I'm hoping it's just a mistake, but I really don't want to be dealing with the insurance company right now.

Ok... no more freaking out. Today's goal is to clean out my clothes closet... and then to head over to the temp agency to see if I can get a short term assignment. I still have savings, but recently found out that what I have in the bank at this moment is the minimum they recommend I have when I arrive... and I've got a few more expenses to cover before I leave (like, you know living!). But like I said... no more freaking out. It's all going to work out.... somehow.


Olga said...

Hang in there! Love the clothes you bought, lookin good from here. Too bad you don't live here in SD, I'd give you a storage unit for free to help you out-oh yes I would!

T is said...

When do you leave?

Melissa said...

Ayyy! I was in a similar situation a few years ago when I moved here from Fairbanks. If it helps at all, I got rid of 80% of my stuff, and I haven't missed it. "Stuff" accumulates so quickly, and we really don't need most of it. Paying to store stuff is really not worth it in my experience.

Love the new teaching wardrobe--great colors!

Rebel said...

thanks for the offer olga - you're sweet.

t - I leave for SF on Aug. 8, I leave for Thailand on 8/11

and thanks for the vote of encouragement Melissa. I keep trying to be zen about it - it's just stuff I shouldn't be attached to stuff... but dang, it's hard!

Bezzie said...

Freecycle and Craigslist. Your new best friends! And as someone who's made a living moving--you won't miss half the stuff you think you're attached to.

gl. said...

those are some great outfits! where did you go?

Rebel said...

thanks bezzie - I will be posting my furniture on craigslist when the time comes.

gl - Dress Barn Women out at the columbia gorge outlet stores. I actually got really great service, the sales lady was very helpful (I tried on a LOT of stuff and had her getting stuff off the high racks etc.) I only just discovered the store a few weeks ago - if I'd known about it earlier, I might not have spent the past 5 years in cords & sweater sets. LOL!

IamSusie said...

This is one of the reasons I hate to move. Packing up life into boxes is totally surreal. I try not to be attached to "stuff" either, but the stuff connects me to memories and people who have passed away. Then I realize the stuff isn't the connection at all, it's the memory that is important. Unfortunately, I like my stuff....

I always ignore that service engine light. Doesn't that just mean you need an oil change or something? It's the oil pressure light that is the serious one that shouldn't be ignored.

gl. said...

i just discovered dress barn at mall 205 this year, and i've been surprisingly delighted with many things! it's started to change my style of dress, too. i've never been tempted by the outlet stores, but i'll have to check it out now. thanks!

mlle b said...

I'm so sorry about your car stress, especially because I won't be seeing you this weekend! I worked at a Dress Barn in college in TN, in a strange coincidence! Have a great 4th!!

IrishgirlieKnits said...

You picked out some fabulous outfits!! I think I may need to check out a Dress Barn near me!

Love the suitcases too!